To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

SEN brigade? What a delightful turn of phrase

Years ago most women didn’t work. And were financial screwed so had to get on with it.

Mystery solved.

Completely agree
@Teddleshon1and agree @SourGrapez
i had 2 under 5 and 2 extra every other week end.
I also worked pt.
The house clean , tidy , the kids were happy , loved and well behaved.
It takes effort and consistency and my dh was on the same page ( though he was working a ton of hours to keep the show on the road ).

It's work. You're lucky to be part time but unfortunate that you don't realise that and need to come on and put others down. When I was part time (3 days a week) I had 4 days at home/with the kids to be able to keep on top of the house and cook fresh healthy food and keep the fridge and freezer stocked. I was less stressed therefore the house was less stressed.

Interests rates went up, cost of living went up, I needed to return to work full time. Now my evenings are a rush of managing kids clubs, homework, trying to sort dinners, trying to still keep bedtime calm. Plus I'm stressed from leaving work in a rush to collect (or husband is).

Enjoy your privileged position but it feels in bad taste to post this sort of thing to imply everyone else is getting it wrong.

I suppose people posting about having cancer or Parkinson's or HIV or psychosis should just get over it or must be lying?

Because you are perfectly healthy both physically and mentally so obviously everyone has to be exactly the same as you or they're not worth listening to.

'SEN brigade'?

That say everything about your intentions with this thread!

Why is OP not allowed to post her positive parenting experience? Whether she works part time, has a supportive partner, or supportive friends and family is irrelevant.

OP is not saying she lives in fairy land but she gets on with it and makes it work.

I obviously do not know OP, but of course she goes through trials and tribulations as we all do.

Lets have more positive parenting stories alongside parenting stories across the whole,
wide range of what it is to be a parent!

I admire you OP..back in the real world ..Are you dealing with a partner working shifts so never there to support you?
Are you also juggling the stresses of dealing with elderly parents needing support?
Are you skint not knowing where to turn?
Are you a single parent?
Are you in a secure home?All bills paid and up to date?
I would suggest you have no bloody idea of the pressures of the real world and the parents who are struggling with the pressures who are certainly doing their very best day in and day out.Lazy is not a word I would use to describe any of them.
You might be thinking you are winning now but trust me those tables have a way of turning ..

I agree with you op. Not PC to say these things out loud though. Apparently some children are ‘easy’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

So you think people who work more than you and have older kids that inherently do more things are lazier than you?

Not sure that checks out.

DS is my stepchild (but lives with us FT so more or less my son) so no, I had my first at 17.

You’re right, OP, the only thing that effects someone’s parenting experience is whether they’re a good parent (like us) or a shit parent (like the ones who post on mumsnet about their “problems”). If everything was a good parent there’d be no stressed parents or kids, no families without a committed couple splitting parenting halfway, no parents struggling with the cost of living.

My kids are good. They sleep, they eat stuff, they don’t act up, we have minimal screens and maximum Healthy Outdoor Fun, they get a bit of benign neglect, they like school. I still sometimes find parenting little ones a tiring and relentless slog.

It is very much easier if you have "a village".

Obviously there was the odd bad day but in general, parenting was pretty easy. I have 3dc (2 with SEN). I worked full time (5 1/2 days a week - 65 hours at work + more at home). Cooked decent meals 90% of the time. Enjoyed parenting on the whole and they've grown up to be really thoughtful, respectful, well rounded teens.

But...Kids did all their homework at school. And did most of their clubs at school. And DH did most of the cleaning. Grandparents were very involved and we had a good set of friends with kids similar in age. We had a military precision routine for school mornings. The kids knew our rules. No meant no and there was little point in arguing.

As a teacher, the parents that seem to struggle the most are the ones who can't say no (or are really wishy-washy about no) or are "child led". Parents have to be in charge or it's never going to work.

The more exhausted you are (because you don't have "the village"), the easier it is to slip into the habit of saying yes to things you shouldn't for an easy life, then it all falls apart.

‘SEN brigade’? ODFOD.

It was OP who chose to post a goady judgemental thread about other people’s parenting. Sharing her experience isn’t wrong, but deciding everyone else with a different view point is lazy is pretty ignorant. She’s getting exactly what she wanted out of this thread.

I think some people have much lower boredom thresholds than OP. Some enjoy the structure, routine and rigour of family life - others do not. I don’t think it particularly mindboggling that our experiences are personal, and I don’t think either group has to be silenced, there isn’t a right answer.

I do all that and I work full time…you should try harder @SourGrapez

’the SEN brigade’
You sound like a delight

People are not lazy, they are mainly selfish.

They want a child-free life with children. They need 2 adults for bed time, they want a child-free evening that start at 6pm, but children who sleep until 10am 😂

They want weekends to lay down in front of the TV in their pjs and holiday where they lay down in the sun doing nothing. "Me time" is a necessity apparently.

Their choice, but why having kids then?

Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7
yes and no. We are all bored to death to be stuck at home more than half a day, so I like outings with my kids frankly.

22yo and giving life advice. Hilarious 🤣

Because we both work full time and have some health problems and life in general feels like a lot? It's not just the kids, it's the kids along with everything else, and trying to support their hobbies which takes a lot out of what could be our downtime. It's great you feel so on top of it though.

Wait until they are pre teens life won't be so prefect. What a condensing post

Your luck could change at any time. Remember that.

First kid at 17?? Oh OP, you are nowhere near as perfect as you think you are. Children having children - how common.

I'm a single mum to 2 who works full time. Come back when you've walked a mile in my shoes and tell me it's easy 😂