To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

Great minds!

News just in. Not everyone is you

We are blessed to have easy going children most of the time. I say most of the time because on occasion things happen, the kids fight or my 13 year old crashes out and all hell breaks loose. When I read about people’s struggles on here I thank my lucky stars that we don’t have to deal with too much awfulness at home. This post comes across as rather braggy and quite rude to people who have used this platform to ask for help when they are struggling. Not cool OP

I suppose you have got quite a lot of energy for parenting at 14…

Anyway, I’m sure I’d have found it all easier if I’d only worked part time, too.

I agree op! I was given two pieces of advice by my daughter’s neurologist when she was diagnosed with autism aged 2, 1. set your red lines and don’t break them 2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. She was 2, i listened and stuck to this advice and life was fine with her and dsis (diagnosed with ADHD as an adult), busy but not what I read on Mumsnet. I honestly think parenting style to permissive parenting is much of the problem. Plus too much screen time from babies (I’m not saying never but seeing kids in buggies staring at screens or whole families in restaurants says a lot.

work part-time

Well for a start only working part time helps.
I assume you’ve also got a DP who does half of the parenting.

I found parenting difficult because I was a single parent, worked FT (and studied in the evenings) and no support.

My DC is SEN so is an angel that does whatever they’re told but I recognise not everyone is so lucky and some kids are more challenging than others.

The difficulty for me came from not having enough hours in the day to get everything done and so it’s exhausting.

Its great that you find parenting so easy but that’s because your life is easier.

Youre also only getting a snapshot of peoples lives when they feel tired or unwell and things get on top of them.

You are lying if you say you’ve never had 1 moment in your adult life where you have found parenting or life a little bit difficult.

Either this just a troll.

Or, actually someone close to the end of their tether. You just don't get all riled up because others are doing a worse job than you. There is a need to feel superior in the OP.

Excellent catch.

“The SEN brigade” we are not some fucking club for smug self righteous twats to reference disparagingly in their self appreciating stream of consciousness pat on the back.

1. You work part - time. What’s your job ? I worked full time as a NHS consultant and my job took a lot of extra hours and emotional energy. That definitely changes the parenting experience
2. Do you have a supportive and helpful partner. That definitely changes the parenting experience
3. Did you have a loving and supportive family when you were growing up . That definitely changes the parenting experience.
4. Are your children easy going and biddable - ie a good fit for you. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that all their good behaviour is down to how you are managing things. Some children - even if neurotypical- and being brought up in exactly the same way as their siblings - are much more difficult. That definitely changes the parenting experience.
5. Are you financially comfortable and living in a good area . That definitely changes the parenting experience.
6. Are you a confident person with a few good friends around. That can definitely change the parenting experience

You get the gist op.Just because you are doing well it can be very different for other parents due to a multitude of reasons. It’s a complicated area and we should support parents who are finding it difficult to- not making them feel useless

Bit late for starting tea isn’t it?

Surely it's fairly obvious?

You are financially secure enough to be able to afford to work part time
You are (I'm assuming?) not a single parent
Your children are on the easier side
Your children are healthy and don't have any medical issues or disabilities

People who are struggling are more likely to start threads.

What's wrong with 'screens' during the week?

I was born in 1980s and totally agree with you.
Edited to say, what nasty replies here- "slow clap, ODFOD", why?

I actually agree with you. Some of these posts are really awful to see, and makes you wonder why they had more kids.

😂

Now come on. You love those posts really don't you? They allow you to feel really great and superior. What's the point of 'winning' at parenting if there are no 'losers' to gloat at?

My mum has implied a few times that parents make a huge fuss about everything nowadays. Years ago mums just got on with it- kids didn’t get entertained 24/7, occasionally they had to be bored, occasionally they had to be dragged to adult things and sit quietly, they understood that mum had to do dull stuff like housework and washing and they amused themselves while that was going on.
Weekends weren’t packed with constant days out and activities. Summer holidays consisted of mostly playing in the garden, maybe a holiday and a few days out. Whereas my friend literally has her kids out every single day at some new place throughout summer and complains about the constant cost.

I think social media puts pressure on mums in particular to give the ‘perfect childhood’, but the reality is that I don’t think it’s doing kids (or the poor frazzled mums!) and good.
I wonder if mums struggle to juggle everything because they are trying to do too much and constantly entertain kids who have never been allowed to feel boredom or make their own fun for a few hours.

Well.your children are still young ,you might find they are not so perfect as they get older paticularly as they hit their teen years.

Sounds like you’ve made the mistake of forgetting that people tend to only post if they’ve got a problem. Generally people don’t post when things are going well (other than you it seems…!)

i am no means winning at parenting, but thanks for the assumption. 👍

Slow clap. Lucky you.

Then they will probably rebel lol

@Twistedfirestarters I don’t love those posts, I find them profoundly depressing.

And if you're not battling something now, that doesn't mean you wont do in the future!