My colleague has been behaving inappropriately for a long while. He comments on what I’m wearing every time he sees me, noticing tiny details, for example, he once said, “Your earrings are in the shape of a bow,” and another time asked if I’d dyed my hair because it looked lighter. He once said he remembers the first time he saw me; I was wearing such and such top.
He’s done things like walk me to the staff room and then tell another colleague, “I escorted X downstairs as if she doesn’t know the building.” I’ve also found him sitting alone in my classroom, even though he doesn’t teach there. He once stood outside my classroom watching me teach, then commented that my class was very engaged and suggested I should be appointed to teach a certain category of students to improve retention. Multiple times, he's said X and X colleague have said they love working with you.
He’s asked me out a few times. First for a drink, I said no. Months later he asked for coffee, I said no-I’m always busy. He offered to buy me coffee, I said no, I have my own hot drink.
On one occasion, he came to my staff room when I was feeling unwell and said, “You look fantastic for someone who’s sick.” The other day after buying what I needed in the cafeteria, I left without saying bye, went up the stairs and I noticed him looking for me, he even went down a flight of stairs and back up trying to find me.
He’s looked at my timetable and commented on my hours this term. He told me he’s single and has no children, even though I never asked. Yesterday in the staff room, I said I was looking forward to the winter break and having nothing to do. He replied, “I can’t imagine a single mother having nothing to do,” and immediately apologised. I’ve never told him I’m single, so it felt like he was trying to find out my relationship status. Later, he commented on how casually I was dressed and said, “I’ll let you go before I say something I shouldn’t.”
I haven’t reported him because I’m a contractor, so I don’t work every term and we aren't in the same team. I’ve been avoiding him as much as possible. I've ignored him multiple times. Looked at him with disgust and he still goes on. He’s been at the organisation for 12 years, is well-liked, and is doing funded research, so disciplinary action would have serious consequences for him. I don't want to be the person to ruin this for him as he's been working on this for 6 years. I’m also afraid of how other colleagues might see me, because I’m the youngest in the school. They might think I’ve brought this on myself and side with him. If that happened, I’d have to leave the workplace, but I can’t, as I need the experience to progress in my career.
He’s 15 years older than me, and although he hasn’t said this, I suspect he may be looking for a younger woman who could have children.