Is this odd? Or am I overthinking?

[NoKnit]

So Christmas is coming.

We live abroad and not been back to the UK for the festive period in 10 years. Finally planned a trip back this year which with flights, hire car etc etc is a cost running into the thousands. All fine we're all excited especially the kids. There for 2 weeks.

Now thing is in-laws don't seem to want to invite us to their house at all over this time. They only want to meet up for meals out etc. I've said to my husband it's not about being hosted we aren't expecting big dinners cooked for us or anything happy to take food with us and pitch in with cleaning up, dishes etc.
This just doesn't sit right with me I think Christmas is about family being together the adults sitting around on sofa drinking too much wine and nattering whilst the kids play with their cousins, couple of games of monopoly or whatever. Yes might be cramped 2 families with kids in one house but I'm not talking about staying overnight just few hours or an afternoon/evening. My kids want to play with their cousins and doing that in a restaurant and getting 4 excited children to behave seems stressful to me.

My husband won't speak to his sister about it as doesn't want to rock the boat so nothing I can do.

But am I right to find it odd? I can't help but worry it's about me. Relationship generally with them is OK, we have different opinions on parenting etc but think we are all decent enough people. I do feel very 'ganged up on' when I'm with all in-laws (sil + family and pil). They are just different people to me which is fine cant pick your family. They probably think I'm 'awkward or particular' just because I do things differently to them.

Oh and to add when they come abroad to visit us we always have them over, welcome to stay overnight and we host and pull out the stops to show them a good time. I admit mostly me that does this and I did tone it down last few years we've had his family over as realised I was the one doing absolutely all the work.

Should also add last two trips we've been back they've also not invited us over. Kids ask when they are going to their cousins house.

Arghhh AIU?

So there have been quite a mixed lot of responses here some useful, others maling assumptions extremely far from the truth.

A bit of detail I should add

• Actually I don't drink myself so can't be not liking me drunk.
• My kids are well behaved and I keep an eye on them. So what if they get dirty whilst I'm watching. They by no means run wild or are feral
• Don't expect the full house experience, my kids just want to see their cousins bedrooms, play with their toys and games. I've even offered to bring food for a buffet and offered to help clearing up
• Not talking about a full meal or any of hosting Christmas, just a few stress free hours where the kids can play and the adults natter (with those that drink alcohol having wine)
• It is both SIL and PIL not really wanting to do this.
• We've rented AIR bnbs and hosted lots of times before but chose not to this time. Again this isn't fully the same and in fairness means I host at home and when I'm 'on holiday' too
• Kids aged 9-14 so know how to behave not make a mess etc.

Anyway thanks for all the useful insights and the comments based on misunderstanding or misinterpreting it has also kept me a bit entertained.

Have a nice weekend everyone

If you don't drink alcohol, why was part of your ideal Xmas description drinking too much wine sitting on the sofa?

My kids want to play with their cousins and doing that in a restaurant and getting 4 excited children to behave seems stressful to me.

Why are 9 to 14 year olds having a hard time behaving in restaurants?

Your expectations don't match your in laws reality. They likely don't want the hassle and stress and sheer work of cleaning the house, shopping and cooking for 10 people, cleaning up after while you sit on the sofa and have stress free time and 4 excited kids are playing in a cramped space. Your stress free time stresses them out too much. They must be at least in their 60s.

Also the different family meal times don't fit together.

Spirited, like high spirited. Rambunctious. Rammy. All over the place. Always on the move. Very active.

Do you think because you're on vacation you can just sit back and be taken care of? Then go to a spa or hotel and hire childcare. Your inlaws have aged out and none of their family is willing to provide you with what you want.