To have asked my parents for a lift home?

[coldabdtired]

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

Think they’re very mean and I’d make a point of refusing them lifts. It was cold, why couldn’t they just come and get you?

Horrid. My parents are 78 and would pick me or grandkids up without hesitation. As I would for any of them.

Being in your PJs at 7.15 sounds depressing tbh. I'd stop giving them so many lifts unless it's part of the deal for living in their house.

My kids know they can ask me for a lift in situations like this. I commute myself and it’s no fun waiting that long for the bus. My dad picked me up from pubs / stations etc when I visited home even when I was in my 40’s. He never said no and never made me feel bad. Same for my kids. They both also have my card on their Uber account if ever need to get an Uber in an emergency.

I am 35. Don't drive due to disability and if I needed an unplanned lift, as long as it wasn't a ridiculous distance away I would ask for a lift and my parents would come and get me. In their pj's if they were in them. Dp would do the same for our dc

Did they come and get you?

unless I’d had a drink, I wouldn’t think twice about collecting my dc, and I’ve done it in onesie and pyjamas in the past.

YANBU, OP.

I'm in my 40s but I know for a fact my Dad would still offer to pick me up in the situation you describe, I wouldn't need to ask.
Most of my friends' parents would do the same. Your Mum sounds quite mean.

Nope. Bus is now 15 minutes away, my hands are frozen and I’m knackered

That's really shit. But I would take pleasure in telling them to stick it the next time they dare ask for a lift.

@coldabdtired YANBU at all OP and I can't understand your DM's attitude. Are your DF and DB aware of your request, or just your DM? The fact that you routinely give them all lifts and rarely, if ever, ask for the favour to be returned makes them a bunch of CFs and your DM calling you "selfish" is priceless! You might like to point this out to them when you get home (which I hope you already are!).

Your parents are selfish

That’s really crap. Hope it gets there soon.

Bloody hell OP!
Where are you?
I'll come and give you a lift myself!

Honestly, some people...

Oh no OP that is so hurtful given you are a quasi taxi service. Pull back, just be unavailable / busy or just in your PJ’s (!) to be able to give lifts. Uber for dad for golf, for drunk brother and for mum. It works both ways. And if anyone mentions it you can tell them. I would have picked you up x

If the bus was delayed by hours or cancelled completely then you would not BU.

But it was only 45mins delayed and so I would not have asked for a lift in that situation.

I’m a very soft parent but if my teen DD asked to be picked up then I’d have told her to wait the 45mins as it’s really not that long.

Their reaction was a bit OTT though and they could have just said yes or no.

Im a very anxious driver and I would still have gone to pick a family member up. I may have said can you just walk to x street (meaning somewhere I could easily park) but I would have gone to get them.

If I were in your shoes the minute I got in I’d be saying “don’t any of you expect any lifts from me from now on!” And I’d stomp upstairs and slam the door! And if they ever asked me for a lift I’d say “nope I’m putting my pjs on”.

What miserable sods!

Reading the words “selfish” written by your mum says quite a lot about how your family treats you. It’s all about how “guilty” you have made them… yet they still didn’t collect you!

I would review your family dynamics, because most parents would be concerned about their child (especially a young woman) waiting for a bus in the dark (I know it’s not late but still!).

They sound so spoilt, and it’s almost like you are being the mature parent and them a bunch of teenagers. Is there others things that they do that make you feel guilty? Or a bad person for asking?

Wow.
I'd stop giving them lifts from now on!
Then remind them of how they wouldn't do the same for you, when they ask.

I would definitely be less available after this for lifts to golf and rides home after drunken nights out.

I can't imagine where I wouldnt be willing to pick on of my kids up if they were stuck in the cold rain. Unless it was a regular occurrence, but this doesnt sound like it is!

Next time dad is going to golf make sure you have your pj's on.

Maybe this is generational but I think a healthy 25 year old who doesn’t just sigh and suck up a commute delay of less than an hour is being a bit pathetic.

All you did is ask. They could have just said no if they wanted to. UNBU IMO. Just know it's not personal!

This

Absolutely awful your mum is and the rest, if they have just ignored the request. Never give any of them a lift again- I'd take great pleasure in declining them next time they inevitably ask