To have asked my parents for a lift home?

[coldabdtired]

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

Selfish parents...I do give my children lifts in my PJ's... They are similar age to you.... Very mean.

Where are family values gone

You don't need to feel guilty asking your parents to help you, it would be a huge relief to most parents to know that their daughter isn't standing at the bus stop. I'm 73, live in the countryside, and drive 15 miles through dense freezing fog late at night, 3-4 times a week, to collect my 28 year old daughter from the station when returns from attending meetings in the south east. It gives me peace of mind to know she is safe.

Not standing at a bus stop? That's completely fine but some people don't have parents who drive. My mum doesn't drive. What harm is going to come to someone standing at a bus stop waiting for 45 mins. The OP didn't say she felt unsafe. She said she was tired and cold. Of course safety is an issue but this is a journey the OP does five days a week. Are women not to stand at a bus stop just in case something happens to them?

The only time I ever felt unsafe was coming home from work at 1am. Not 7pm

This!

I would never refuse my kids a lift!

I don't think the OPs parents should just be written off as mean for not giving a lift. Buses get delayed. It's part of life. Why are people automatically written off as horrible just because they don't do something - by complete strangers. My brother drives. I've asked him for a lift three in the last 9 years since he passed his test

Twice on the way home from a gig and once in an emergency situation

It's potentially different for the OP as she's given her family lifts - but saying no doesn't make them mean.

She is 25 years old woman living in their house!!

Actual wow.

She is their 25 year old daughter.

Corrected that for you.

Your family sound really mean. I am only 3 years younger than your mother and today I got up in the wee hours to shovel snow and take my daughter (broken foot) to an exam. I have spent the rest of the day shoveling, picked her up and am now at my second job. Tell them to get a grip and support you. This is what families do. Picking you up for once will not kill them and from now on I suggest you tell them to go pound sand if they want lifts from you.

25 year old, who should have launched by now! Do you think stomping upstairs and slamming doors because she thinks her retired parents should turn out in the cold because she doesn't want to wait half an hour, is appropriate?

@Carycach4 well I hope when she's "launched" she doesn't bother to turn out in the cold for her parents ever. They're adults and should organise their own transport as well. No favours EVER, or does it only work one way...probably calling kids ungrateful these days if they don't take their parents back and forth to doctors appointments etc. btu god forbid they'd pick their own child up! My god I used to give lifts home to my friends at work ALL the time. Mind you most of them had useless parents as well.

I'll bet her parents paid for her driving lessons too!

Can't understand why everyone would be in pyjamas at 7 pm ish. In any case, if it's only a 15 min drive then that's not much to ask. I've done lots of driving my kids in PJs with a raincoat on top - usually after missing the last bus home !

63 isn't even retirement age. Maybe OP should "launch" and the mum should go back to work!

They are supporting her - she's living at home and she's saving money compared to what she would be paying in a private let.

The mum doesn't need to go back to work. The OP said that the dad is on the state pension and they have other income as well. The OP isn't going to move out. She said earlier that private lets in her area are around 750-850 pounds a month. She's not going to leave home when she can pay less rent to stay at home.

I'm sorry - but my post was made in response to the suggestion that the OPs parents should have come out to get her because she might feel unsafe standing at a bus stop - at 7pm. This is the same route she travels every day to and from work yes? The OP didn't at any point say she felt unsafe. Just that she was tired and cold.

She drives - if she really felt unsafe coming home from work on public transport she has the option to drive to and from work. Lots of people don't have that option.

My point was that I never had that option. My mum doesn't drive. I spent years working shifts and the only option for me would be to wait at the bus stop until the next one came.

I got stranded a few years ago after a gig. Five miles from home because the last bus home didn't turn up and the next one stopped at the next town. No taxis. A young girl on the bus who lived in the same town as me was stranded as well - I didn't know her but I was concerned for her. We started walking - we had no other option. We walked around two miles and thankfully a taxi passed us.

Sometimes these things happen. Of course public transport is unreliable - but I don't think that people should be suggesting that the parents should have come and got her because she felt unsafe standing at a bus stop - she didn't say that at any point.

She was going to walk 15 minutes to the next bus stop to get home quicker. Presumably in the cold and dark.

I think the fact that the parents are being called mean and horrible for not giving a lift is a bit of a stretch. We don't know anything about their relationship in general - but they are mean

Some adult kids have zero contact with their parents. For significant reasons. Not giving a lift isn't the worst thing in the world

I personally get the reasons why she feels she can't move out - can't afford her own place. But the option could be there for a flat share or renting a room from someone nearer work. I don't think coming in and slamming the door and going straight to bed is going to resolve anything - and if the answer is if you don't do anything for me I won't do anything for you - it's just going to make life more tense

I personally think the brother could have stepped up to give the lift if he wasn't at work. This is the same person who repeatedly uses the OP as a taxi service after a night out - why didn't he give his sister a lift home?

No one good turn deserves another it wouldn't have hurt them to give the girl a lift.If it was my child I would have done anything to help out.