To have asked my parents for a lift home?

[coldabdtired]

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

Why? Maybe if it was a pleasant summer evening. But why should she have to sit in the cold and dark unnecessarily? And it works out as more than 45min delay, because the bus service is backed up. What’s family for if not to support and love each other? I think a parent who can’t be bothered to help their adult child is pathetic.

A 15 minute journey is nothing. I would have picked you up.

This! None of my children live at home and they are aged 28; 30 and 36 But I would still pick them up if they asked!

@coldabdtired this makes me sad for you, I couldn’t imagine being like this with my daughter xx

@coldabdtired Absolutely nothing wrong with asking. It is not a long car journey and you asked around 7 pm, which is a perfectly reasonable time to ask for a lift.

That’s really shit, make sure to tell your dad to find his own way to golf next time

I think it's mean of them too. DH got stuck 90minutes away when there was train trouble and DSis and DNiece both offered instantly to drive through to collect him.

Jesus! So your mum has done buggar all, all day other than go for lunch and she can't drive 15 minutes to come pick you up??

I would do it in a heartbeat. I would throw on my shoes and my coat and go and get my daughters without question in this situation. I have always helped my adult DC's out if I can and driving anywhere where I live takes way more than 15 minutes to get to civilisation too.

Your parents should remember that next time you give your Dad a lift to bloody golf!

Yes I would be pissed off in these circumstances and I would actually tell them so.

Maybe perhaps you need to say no when asked for a lift from your parents or brother.

Why is any of this needed? Why is "no is a complete sentence" not relevant here?!

OP is an adult. Her parents are also adults. They are perfectly ok to say sorry love, I'm already in my pjs.

What’s family for if not to support and love each other

But commute delays are just part of everyday life, aren’t they? It’s not failing an exam or breaking up with a partner or whatever.

Mine would have messaged: “buses delayed, gonna be late” and then just dealt with it like the independent adults they are.

When I came down with a combination of cold/fatigue while visiting my parents a couple of years ago, my Dad offered (his idea) to drive me 90 minutes home in my own car that night, so I didn't have to drive tired...then he caught the train back to our home town, including a change in central London, and mum drove 15 mins each way to pick him up from the station. I would do the same for him, or anyone else in the family, in a heartbeat. I think your family are being really mean.

My Mum is 74 and if I phoned at 2am she would come and get me. I am 46. Your Mum was mean as you don’t make a habit of it

I think people seem to be of the belief that I was screaming and crying for a lift. I literally messaged “I know I’m being cheeky but is anyone able to give me a lift because the bus is 45 minutes late” and got the message back about being selfish

I'd tell them you do a lot for them and it isn't much to ask for as a one off

Are you home now? How did they react when you came in.

I am! I just slammed the door and went upstairs to get under my electric blanket because I’m cold and tired and grumpy

I would have driven 15 minutes to pick up my adult daughter rather than making her wait over an hour for a bus in the cold after being out from 7am this morning and working all day. I think your parents are selfish. Next time they ask for lifts I would be less willing to help them out.

I'd have got an uber.

Honestly I think I’d have done the same. Hope you warm up soon

Uber isn’t really a thing where I am

Yes they are mean, are they mean to you in other ways also, and have they always been like this?

Well now you know not to give them a lift again.

Hope you get warm and something to eat.

I am so sorry. Your family sound thoroughly selfish and your mum really nasty. Perhaps you should reduce the lifts that you give them from now onwards.

I'd order in and not offer them anything

Glad you're home