To have asked my parents for a lift home?

[coldabdtired]

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

I'd have said that for a single person with no children it is impossible to get a council flat in most areas. I've no idea why @Roobarbtwo imagines you could find one.

I spent hours in the car picking up my DC when they were living at home and can't think why they wouldn't help you. Especially when you ferry them about from time to time,

Hear hear.

I have found (both on mumsnet and real life ) that attitudes to lift-giving vary hugely family to family. My family are absolutely lift givers and will go out of their way for family and friends. Why wouldn't you do something simple for someone you love? I have given my DH lifts into town (15 mins) and picked up at the end of the night, wouldn't think twice about it , neither would he. However when suggesting to a friend her husband drops her similar distance she was shocked I even suggested it as he would just say no. For what it's worth I would be very hurt by your parents' attitude. Yes you are still at home as an adult and maybe that causes a bit of friction sometimes but unless you are habitually inconsiderate I can't see the problem.

Oh yeah. I got given a council flat in one of the worst areas in my home town where I lived next to drug dealers for a decade and was harassed to within an inch of my life? Don't you tell me to moderate my tone. You know nothing about me

100% this. ^ As I said earlier, I would help my DC, even when they're 40, 50, 60! If I'm still around then. I mean why wouldn't you?!

Only on Mumsnet do I see this 'they're a grown-ass adult at 18, they can sort their own life out' crap. 😆 No-one I know in real life is like this.

Hear hear yes? I think your reaction is quite odd given that you know nothing about me. I was offered a flat in one of the worst areas of my home town. I had drug dealers living next door to me who threatened to burn my flat down and poison my pets

It only takes one very anti social family to make your life a complete and utter misery. I was chased down the stairs one night by said drug dealers son with an iron bar. I walked into my home one night after they moved and then moved back into the area. They were throwing rocks at my head from a three story window. Their kids broke into other peoples flats and trashed them - and when I was eventually moving out as the housing scheme I was living in was being demolished. I got threats again - credible ones that I had to go to police over

Maybe dont judge someone just because they said they got a council house

Key phrase 'I got given a council flat'

These days young people pay a huge amount of rent for the privilege of living in a bad area next to drug dealers. Get some perspective.

Personally I just find it quite ironic that you’ve berated me for being “subsidised” by my parents and used your own experience to do that. Your experience being you couldn’t afford to move out so moved into taxpayer subsidised housing.

Because as I said on several occasions I took a flat in an area of my home town that no one wanted to live in. This thread is just full of seriously nasty judgemental people - it's completely staggering that people can state that I had some kind of privilege when I absolutely did not on any level. I applied for council housing and I was eventually offered one because there was a council scheme that had empty properties - otherwise I would still have been waiting. I worked in homeless units for twenty years. I am very aware of how difficult it is for people to get council or social housing

This - it's their problem if they are in their pj's so early, ridiculous.
In future get in your pj's early and therefore you will be unable to give lifts

There were personal reasons why I needed to move out of home at that point.

And I’m sorry to hear that but the point still stands. It’s two sides of the same coin.

To be fair I’ve just got in my pyjamas!

Imagine saying you did not have any kind of privilege when you were GIVEN a council house.

Sorry OP for derailing your thread but I cannot believe that someone would say that and then judge you for your experience of the current housing crisis.

No I am baffled. But that’s Mumsnet for you sometimes

Given a council house in one of the worst areas of my home town after being on the housing list for ten years and moving into a housing scheme that was half full because no one wanted to live in it? If you think that's privilege I don't know what to say to you. It's nothing of the sort

I left home because I was being threatened by an ex partner - and I didn't want my mum caught up in it because she's a DV survivor herself and very lucky to be alive herself. I needed to be somewhere he wouldn't find me

It was life circumstances - nothing to do with privilege.

Again, I am very sorry about your circumstances - but that’s not a stick to beat me with.

So is your advice to OP to be on the waiting list for 10 years?

I'm out. As I've just said I left home due to threats from an ex and I didn't want my mum dragged into it as she's a DV survivor and very lucky to be alive herself

And - as I said in other posts I lived next door to drug dealers who threatened me. Threats to poison my pets. Threats to burn my house down. I got a decade of grief and it only settled when that horrible anti social family were basically told to leave town because their sons 17 year old gf - who had a baby died in their flat of a drug overdose. I had ten years of abuse at the hands of that family

I went to the housing multiple times. No one cared. Police didn't either. But apparently I'm privileged.

I'm sorry I ever posted on this thread. I didn't say at any point that your parents should throw you out. But you've been persuaded on here to do less for your parents as a result and my point was - that they could ask you to leave at any point. If things deteriorated they could just tell you to go.

There also seems to be a lack of communication between you and your family. If you don't want to ferry any of them around - don't

I'd have just put my dressing gown and fetched you. Unless you're in a completely different town!

Surely even at 63 she's not on the Horlicks by 7pm?!

Nobody is judging you for living in a council house. I, and others, have pointed out that it’s quite hypocritical of you to have criticised me for living at home and being “subsidised” when you were also subsidised.

I don't know what your issue is with my posts. I went on the council housing list at 16 which is quite common where I live because the wait times for a council house are so long. According to you I'm privileged? I grew up in a single parent family where we struggled badly . We were also over crowded at that point which is another reason why I needed to go.

Getting a council house in a hard to let area when you are in an awful situation is not privilege. It's nothing like it.

What the OP wants to do in terms of housing is completely up to them.

You don't know what my rent was or how much I paid in rent and bills over the years I lived there. The fact that I wasn't paying over the odds to pay of someone else's mortgage is completely irrelevant in my view. No one should be paying thousands a month for a roof over their heads

There's nothing wrong with people being in social or council housing. It should be the norm.

Nobody is judging me, are they not? - you've clearly not seen some of the previous posts.

Yet you have criticised me for “being subsidised” and not paying market rent!!

I went on the council housing list at 16 which is quite common where I live because the wait times for a council house are so long.

It sounds like a way of life, get a council house asap.

I wonder why people are so annoyed when immigrants apply.