To have asked my parents for a lift home?

[coldabdtired]

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

Without the delay, you’re already waiting around for 45 minutes for a bus home after a long day at work - for a journey which takes 15 minutes by car! If you were my daughter, I’d be picking you up at the end of your working day if I was home from work myself

You are really struggling arent you

She wasn't expecting shit. She asked for a lift, she didnt expect one. Christ on a bike

I asked, I didn’t expect.

Right, but the rest of the statement isn't incorrect.
I think you all need to sit down and (re) discuss expectations.

Nope, not struggling. HTH

Well you obviously are. Nowhere does op says she expected anything, yet you seem to think she does

It’s not an expectation though. It was a favour to ask for a lift - maybe one of them was out and about or my brother had finished work and would be able to get me. They said no, I accepted that. It was the way in which they said no that annoyed me. Not the fact they said no. I don’t know what you’re struggling with to be honest.

I think they were being rather harsh. Most people would jump in the car and drive a short distance to collect a loved one, particularly when it’s freezing cold outside and they didn’t have anything else to do at that time. I’d understand if you regularly asked them to drop everything but this was a one off.

Offering a different perspective isn't bullying.

It's how it's coming over..

To you, clearly. Don't you think OP needs to actually sit down with her parents and discuss expectations?

Actually, I think you should have a sit down with them re expectations.
THEIR expectations of you always giving lifts to them…..

And I think you need to learn to say No to them regardless of the manipulation they’re sending your way (that’s the ‘we say no but you’ve made us feel so guilty’ blablabla).
im pretty sure that if you look carefully, this playing out regularly too. Ensuring complaisance and the one who sort stuff put fir them/smooth over problems is staying your role.

Id also advise you to move out abd start having clear boubdaries on what you will and won’t do. Because if they already have that level of expectations now when they’re still young and healthy (for 2 retired people), imagine what it will be when they’ll start to struggle.

Well, the poll says more than some of these lunatic responses. So at least you know most people aren’t like them, @coldabdtired!

I would definitely subtly rein back on the lifts you’re giving them, OP.

No, @EINSEINSNULL actually I don't, @coldabdtired posted, we've said what we think, & tbh I'm guessing she wishes she HADN'T posted now.. people picking her life apart..

That too, all involved need to have an honest and realistic discussion.

The thing is, that without knowing the full picture it's easy to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Jesus wept, there are some really odd posters on this thread, like dogs with a rat about OP’s living situation.

YANBU, OP. Your mum could have been much kinder, even if she didn’t want to give you a lift. Meet her energy with your own from now on.

~ a mother of two x