To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

[Pukkajones]

Christmas party, a few nights ago. At a hotel, as it was timed with a big sales meeting, so everyone staying over, 200 ish people, free bar as well as a formal dinner.
Drinking very much encouraged. Staff ages ranged from early 20s to the senior staff in their 50s. Everyone VERY merry.
One colleague, let’s call her Jenny, got a bit carried away, throwing shapes on the dance floor, too touchy feely with men and women apparently then groped one older male colleagues testicles at which point friends grabbed hold of her and steered her off up stairs to her room.
She escaped. Came back down - paralytic at this point - and flashed her boobs at a senior male colleague! In the side bar area so fewer people around me being one of them. Another colleague and I intervened and friends got her again and put her to bed, this time someone stayed with her.

Now I’m being asked to come and tell what I saw to her line manager. I’m in training for an event at the moment so it’s common knowledge that I wasn’t drinking and was sober.

I really don’t want to. She’s lovely, usually quiet and sensible, the company got her poleaxed and now want to carpet her. I’m not a bloody snitch plus - why can’t the guy she flashed at say what happened. Why do I need to be involved???

I’ve been working away since the party so have no idea what is being said in office other than the OMG, Jenny! What was she doing??? Messages. But trust me, there’s plenty of stories from that night… so she’s in good company.

YABU - snitch on her. A man doing that would be in so much trouble.

YANBU - deny seeing anything. If the company ply everyone with that much booze there’s bound to be uncouth behaviour and they probably have enough witnesses already.

You should really tell them what you saw. Just keep it factual.
She sexually assaulted at least 2 colleagues. Victims of SA need witnesses, otherwise it’s very hard to proof. It doesn’t matter whether the victims were male or female. Being drunk can never be an excuse for SA. Don’t be that person who refuses to be a witness. You’re not doing anything to her career. She did that herself with her behaviour.

This. @Gloriia 's posts are making me like.... WTAF?! 😱 I don't know and (never HAVE known) any woman in real life who would say the things this poster is saying...

Well clearly you're exactly the type to grab a man's testicles and are eager to minimise it.

I'm honestly bewildered that you're making blanket statements about women never being creepy.

What if the woman is 50 years old and the man is 18? What if the woman is the man's boss?

I think this is an example of someone who has become such a man-hater that every other consideration is secondary to that. I sometimes wonder if people like this know they are so unbalanced that they cannot function in normal social settings.

I doubt someone like this has any insight into themselves or anyone else. Truly bizarre worldview.

Other posters on here have said exactly the same as I have, so not quite sure why you're WTAF'ing me.

Sexual assault is serious we mustn't do a disserve to victims by confusing it with drunken bra flashing on a works drunken night out.

I hope the woman has been supported and the witchhunt is only on here not irl.

A man hater. Riiiiight. I function fine thanks just I'm not going to wave my pitchfork at this woman's admittedly inappropriate drunkeness.

'Well clearly you're exactly the type to grab a man's testicles and are eager to minimise it'

No, I'm not that 'type'. However I've seem similar antics on work dos and know what I'd 'report' and what I wouldn't.

Exactly. It's a lie.

She was present during one act of inappropriate bodily exposure and pretending she didn't see it. She's not in a position to comment on an alleged assault at which she wasn't present.

What support do you feel the woman in this unsavoury episode needs?
Your posts get more and more distasteful, just when it seems you’ve plumbed the depths.

Are you for real? You didn’t get the responses you wanted so you’ve completely changed the story claiming you’d simply “misremembered” the relevant details?
What a truly bizarre poster you are.

Man here. Myself and most other men would find flashing or attempted groping by a drunk lady amusing. Irritating at worst, unless particularly determined or aggressive.

It really isn't the same as a woman being groped by a man - men generally have the physical power to easily end unwanted encounters.

It wouldn't have been factual. She didnt see the assault that somebody says happened, so cant say it happened

She hasn't misremembered or even seriously claimed she has. She's made it clear that she's just going to go through with lying.

Common sense at last.

You mean you've found someone who agrees with you.

In any case the alleged groping isn't relevant to the OP's situation. She wasn't present.

Quite a few others have pointed out the glaringly obvious that drunk women are not a threat to anyone, they put themselves in dangerous situations if anything,

It doesn't absolve her from responsibility for her failure to conduct herself appropriately. Many posters have also said that they disagree with you.

Something doesn't have to be a threat to be unacceptable. If someone embezzled money that's not a physical threat of anything but it's still illegal and obviously a firing offence.

Likewise, an action can be absolutely unacceptable even if it doesn't cause more than irritation at worst. If someone starts throwing around racist/sexist slurs at work, maybe others would be inclined to just role their eyes and not take it seriously. It's still unacceptable, however, and cause for hr to investigate.

Also, clearly someone found 'Jenny's' behaviour upsetting enough to complain about it. It's not up to OP or anyone else to decide only women get to complain about being groped/flashed.

I never said it was a good thing.

My post was in response to the suggestion that it was as serious as a man groping a woman.

@Pukkajones I would have done what you did 🤐

They can’t accept that women aren’t the dangerous predators that men are. (Some women are predatory, rarely. Like when there’s a massive power or age imbalance). They don’t want to let facts or statistics get in the way of acting outraged at posters like you who speak the truth.

Wow, seriously? Like women just 'get over' being assaulted? Sorry but she's behaved incredibly badly and it shouldn't be overlooked just because she's a woman.

YABU.

She is disgusting and sexually assaulted / harassed a number of colleagues.
Who cares if she is usually “nice”.

Also take accountability. The company did not get anybody drunk. They chose to get drunk.