To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

[Pukkajones]

Christmas party, a few nights ago. At a hotel, as it was timed with a big sales meeting, so everyone staying over, 200 ish people, free bar as well as a formal dinner.
Drinking very much encouraged. Staff ages ranged from early 20s to the senior staff in their 50s. Everyone VERY merry.
One colleague, let’s call her Jenny, got a bit carried away, throwing shapes on the dance floor, too touchy feely with men and women apparently then groped one older male colleagues testicles at which point friends grabbed hold of her and steered her off up stairs to her room.
She escaped. Came back down - paralytic at this point - and flashed her boobs at a senior male colleague! In the side bar area so fewer people around me being one of them. Another colleague and I intervened and friends got her again and put her to bed, this time someone stayed with her.

Now I’m being asked to come and tell what I saw to her line manager. I’m in training for an event at the moment so it’s common knowledge that I wasn’t drinking and was sober.

I really don’t want to. She’s lovely, usually quiet and sensible, the company got her poleaxed and now want to carpet her. I’m not a bloody snitch plus - why can’t the guy she flashed at say what happened. Why do I need to be involved???

I’ve been working away since the party so have no idea what is being said in office other than the OMG, Jenny! What was she doing??? Messages. But trust me, there’s plenty of stories from that night… so she’s in good company.

YABU - snitch on her. A man doing that would be in so much trouble.

YANBU - deny seeing anything. If the company ply everyone with that much booze there’s bound to be uncouth behaviour and they probably have enough witnesses already.

It wasn't a male. Men can be threatening, drunk women flashing bras are not.

Why should a man have to put up with someome male or female groping them ? That can fuck right off.
So a woman in the same situation being grabbed in the crotch would have to 'get over it'? Wta? Are you a twatty bloke by any chance, because it sounds like it.

Another who hasn’t read the thread and my (and others’) responses to this very question.

This ‘what if’ stuff is getting tiresome… another update from a office based colleague has confirmed that the heat seems to be moving to the colleagues who got in an actual scrap…

And another.

Back in the day though!

I join the she was a bit pissed but I didn’t actually see anything brigade!

We aren't talking about domestic abuse. So much whataboutery on this thread.

A drunk man flashing his cock is serious. A woman flashing her bra is not. If she'd been violent your domestic abuse comment would have been relevant.

I agree with this 👆

Oh ffs read the OP first post, 'Jenny' flashed her bra at one man and grabbed another by the testicles.

🙄 Poor form. VERY poor form.

Has anyone asked what if it was a man op?!

I think you have to give a factual statement. It is never okay to sexually assault someone. But if you didn't see something precisely, don't elaborate. If you didn't literally see the hand in the wrong place, say you saw her approach the colleague but not what happened next.

And tbh, this has to be her wake up call to drink less. She will be so ashamed at having behaved as she did.

What about a drunken woman grabbing a man’s testicles, @Gloriia - is that OK in your book too?

Drunken woman has apparently apologised to all involved, and is extremely remorseful and I can guarantee will NEVER live this down. There’s a sale manager who is still getting crap about an incident that happened more than 15 years ago ( abroad, involved a trip to hospital ) when he was single, young, no kids and got TWATTED at a company event despite now being a middle aged, senior, sensible father of 4…

If I were a man, I would be terrified and humiliated if some drunken colleague grabbed my balls. That is a very delicate and tender part of the anatomy, and not up for grabs!

This. ^ The minimising of what happened (from a few posters on here) is fucking disgraceful.

Going against the grain here OP I would say…sorry I happened to be looking the other way and missed that. i would
let management investigate the allegations and come to a decision without me. Of course I don’t trust senior management…

So many ’imagine it was the other way round!’ comments. If you need to use your imagination to conjure up something which didn’t happen, how is that any better than the ‘lying’ you’re accusing OP of?

I’m with the OP I might’ve seen Jan lift her top up to show a flash of bra but I’d have forgotten all about it.

I would say I didn’t see anything incriminating. Yes was drunk. Yes drunk on dance floor. No never saw that. It won’t be repeated and she’s not a beast so Id act a bit dumb.

Nope. Didn’t see anything and have moved on.

Of course it is. A few posters here think anything that women do to men is fine... Such double standards ... 🙄

A colleague was propositioned by a junior employee at a Christmas party a few years ago. She turned him down, he was known for being leery and inappropriate with the younger women in the office as well but (probably due to their age) none of them would report him. My colleague was not so young and had no qualms about reporting him. Unfortunately HR wouldn’t get rid but the incident did make him apply for other jobs and he left not long after.

Just because it is a woman in this incident doesn’t make the behaviour acceptable. Had she been out generally the police could well have arrested her for her behaviour.

So, keep your report factual but definitely provide your report.

Suggest you offer to provide a witness statement for all <list named colleagues you have seen behaving inapproppriately> or none.

People really don’t read updates!

Oh god! The things I have witnessed over the years. Most of our SLT would be fired…