To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

[TheTaupeMoose]

I’m not saying you have to be tacky but I do sometimes wonder if we work this hard, earn more, level up and still don’t celebrate it or show it in any way… what’s the point? There’s this modern guilt around “boasting” or “showing off,” especially online but honestly, why shouldn’t people wear the designer bag, post the trip or drive the nice car if they earned it? You get told to hustle but then shamed for enjoying the results.

I get that quiet wealth is a thing. But sometimes, I think the visibility is part of the reward. Especially if you come from a background where having anything at all once felt impossible.

AIBU to think that maybe showing off a little isn’t shallow, maybe it’s the point?

Except it does equal insecurity. Visibly showing off wealth is seeking validation and hoping to inspire admiration and even envy from others.

It's very telling that you keep justifying it by mentioning not growing up with money. There is definitely an element of feeling validated and needing that assurance that you have 'made it' if you grew up without and feel the need to show you're better off.

I know because I have more than I grew up with now and I also feel like I sometimes have to show that I am better off now but that is definitely insecurity speaking and only makes one look gauche.

What is 'sad' about it, it sounds more like self-pitying moaning about a none issue!

Can I introduce you to the concept of social media 😉

I don't want to be rich to show off, I want to be rich to have a nice life. so I wouldn't consider sharing photos of our amazing holiday (ha I wish) as showing off, but as sharing my holiday. I wouldn't buy a designer bag because it's not my thing but I wouldn't feel like I couldn't spend what I wanted on a bag.

I think it's the difference between just enjoying your rich life and doing the stuff you want and only doing stuff so you can come across as better than other people.

if your mate goes to Wales for a week in a caravan and you roll your eyes and declare how you could never go back to living such a sad life because now it's 5 star AI with personal butlers only for you, that makes you a dick. if you're generally talking about holidays and you mention something the private butler did or how the towel swans on your bed were made from pure silk and remade every time you used them, you're not

Because really wealthy people who have had money for generations wouldn't dream of walking about in clothes smothered in logos, or flashy trainers, bags, etc. If I see anyone dressed like thst, I just assume it's a street market knock off.

You lost me at 'hustle'.

I just think, worry more about yourself and less about what others are thinking. That probably means you will show your wealth a bit more. But boasting only happens when you’re concerned with how others are perceiving you. If you’re just getting on with living and spending in your means then that is in no way braggy.

I don't understand the showing it off thing. If you choose to have an expensive car, bag or whatever, don't you just go about your life using the items rather than thinking ooo look at me all rich?

Would you honestly though? If you saw someone you didn’t know anything about, walking around in a brand you recognised? I wouldn’t think anything at all and certainly wouldn’t assume they couldn’t possibly afford the real thing.

I’m not sure why you conflate doing the things you want with your money and showing off?

I have decent bags and clothes, I wanted something good quality that holds up to everyday use, looks smart, etc. I don’t think buying a nice bag means you are showing off?

I love holidays, we spend a lot of money on experiences such as holidays, restaurants etc. Is that showing off? The people who see me doing those things are there too, so I’m hardly showing off to them!

I think that maybe you don’t know what you like and possibly watch too much social media. If you are happy in your choices and your decisions, buy the car you want, the holiday you want, the clothes you want. It’s only showing off if you feel the need to tell everyone about it, and even then, they’ll just think you’re annoying as not everyone likes the same things so it might not be ‘showing off’ to them.

Nail on the head. Same here as I'm sat looking at my 17 year old car! I could go out tomorrow and buy (in cash) a brand new BMW, Volvo or Merc, but I don't need to do it, so won't. Likewise our house is pretty average - we could have moved a few years ago to one twice as big, but why bother? We're happy in our current average house.

If you have loads of extra cash, you might like to think about giving to charity

There are loads of extremely wealthy people (even those with generational wealth) who cover themselves, their luggage etc., in labels!! Just because people have money, it doesn’t mean they all do the same things. Would you say the same about those with less money?

I'm very fortunate to have nearly £700k in the bank after a couple of inheritances. Not that anyone I know IRL has any idea. I drive a 6 year old budget car and like buying clothes from Sainsbury's. I am not mean in any way and am happy to spend money on my adult daughters, giving to charity or buying anything I really want. It's just that in my 60s unfettered materialism has lost its shine for me. I come from a background where ostentatious displays of wealth or talking about money were considered tacky and a bit vulgar. If I see people swanning about in overpriced designer gear I actually feel a bit sorry for them - that they are so desperate for everyone to know their financial situation.

However live and let live and do what makes you genuinely happy.

V.random post. Nobody expects you to hide your wealth. E.g wear the bag, go on holiday, drive the car. I think the thing that is tacky is making a song and dance about it not the having it or it being visible.

What? Just live within your means and enjoy your life. Why care so much about what others think? Surely you’re spending time with people on a similar financial level, anyway?

Wear the bag you like. Drive the car that works for your lifestyle. Stop looking sideways.

Certainly this is the case in Britain. I think it varies across different cultures.

Who’s stopping you?

It would totally go over my head personally but that’s me.

But if you are 'sharing' these 'celebrations' online with total randoms or people you hardly know... how is that sharing? Or celebrating? It's not... it's showing off. And showing off, imo, is tacky.

Couldn't agree more.

Money talks; wealth whispers.

This single post exemplifies the difference between new money and old money so perfectly that it should be studied

Sharing to express pleasure at time you spent with your family, your partner etc are quite understandable.

Sharing to try to make others envious or jealous is sad. WHY do you feel the need to show off? Attention seeking is never attractive or aspirational. Quite the opposite.

My aunt has alot of wealth and because she came from humble beginnings she can't help tell anyone she meets how wealthy she is. It's her whole personality. Every conversation devolves to cash.

Goes on holiday, no chat about the cuisine or culture, its how much everything cost. Buys some designer clothes, no chat about the style it's how much it was. It's tedious in the extreme and not through a lens of envy, just simply It's a shallow relationship and conversational style, and a real shame as probably shows low self esteem.

Cash not class, I'd call it.

Wealth can enrich your life and enjoying that financial security, ability to enjoy luxuries, and the calm, gratitude and peace that should accompany it would seem reward enough to those who class themselves as financially wealthy.

I generally find people with a constant need to show off their designer shit and lifestyles are usually fairly unhappy underneath it. Material wealth does not represent happiness and really that, at the end of the day ( along with health) are the only important things. Buy all the crap that you want and show it off but I would just assume you are probably really struggling and unhappy.