To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

[TheTaupeMoose]

I’m not saying you have to be tacky but I do sometimes wonder if we work this hard, earn more, level up and still don’t celebrate it or show it in any way… what’s the point? There’s this modern guilt around “boasting” or “showing off,” especially online but honestly, why shouldn’t people wear the designer bag, post the trip or drive the nice car if they earned it? You get told to hustle but then shamed for enjoying the results.

I get that quiet wealth is a thing. But sometimes, I think the visibility is part of the reward. Especially if you come from a background where having anything at all once felt impossible.

AIBU to think that maybe showing off a little isn’t shallow, maybe it’s the point?

I think the main purpose of outwardly displaying wealth is to show off, the result of showing off ff is making other people who don’t have what you have is to feel bad. Why would you ever want that?

enjoy your wealth in the way that makes you happy, but that happiness shouldn’t be derived from other people being jealous ….

Does it not totally depend on how much you have though?

I am in the situation that I am comfortable but not rich, I could stretch myself and buy a nicer car, I could have a nice (ish) watch. I choose not to as I would rather save, plan for the future etc.

If I was in a position that I could do all of it without thinking I would. If splashing out on a new Mclaren was pocket chance and would make no difference to the future of course I would.

You sound very insecure.

Let's be honest. Visibility is about getting pleasure from making other envious.

I don't get this at all and personally, I don't get along and respect people who get a kick from knowing others are jealous.

My experience also is that those who go for the most blatant sign of richness (the land-rover, the house in the right area, the designer clothes etc...) are usually those who are not half as rich as they like others to believe they are.

My experience is that those that live flashy lifestyles usually have self esteem issues and a mountain of debt. I certainly don't look at designer items or a flashy car and think 'wow they must be doing well for themselves'. Comfortable people have nothing to prove to others. Moneys talks, weathy whispers is true IME.

I don't want to be kidnapped or targeted by thieves who want a chunk of what I've built up, so I don't walk around as a billboard that I have enough to be worth targeting.

You don't even need to have that much to become a target.

I also have zero interest in swanning around in front of people who have less rubbing their noses in it.

What else is showing off for?

The things that make me happy are not about money anyway, or about showing off.

I love having enough to not have to be scared when I turn on the heating (because I have been that person so I value what I have now), but the rest of the world doesn't need to know how much of a non issue that is for me.

People treat you differently when they know you have money. You can enjoy wealth without the showing off

I think you overestimate how much people want to celebrate your good fortune with you!

In some circles, overtly demonstrating wealth is a social necessity to prove that you belong. There is nothing wrong with that, if it’s how you choose to live your life.

It’s not the same as bragging randomly on SM about how affluent you are.

PS my dh drives a Porsche, he loves cars. It was a well-selected vehicle that didn’t cost more than a top range Tesla. We can definitely afford it; it’s a luxury my dh enjoys.

We have a relatively modest home, we don’t live lavishly. That’s just habit really - our friends are not flash harries, some fork out for private school but we don’t as we envoked middle-class-privilege in buying a nice house near good schools. I enjoy the success of friends with more (of course occasional pangs of jealousy, I’m on my human) but I’d hate them to rub it in my face.

I would deselect from my social circle who made a point of advertising their wealth in an obnoxious way. We simply wouldn’t get along.

If you are British, I don't think ostentatious displays of wealth was ever a 'thing' for many. It is not exactly a modern day sensibility, in days gone by it was often considered 'vulgar' to display your wealth in this way.

God no, having money to spend is great, it's irrelevant what others think of how you spend it.

I've never got the point of "showing off."
Why do people need to do it? Yes wear the bag, drive the car, have a nice holiday, enjoy yourself. Not sure why the whole world needs to know about it. It is just vulgar.

Context matters. I am in Australia visiting my son and have posted lots of pictures on FB . My friends know how much this visit means to me . They also know that I drive a shit tip car ,live in an average house and have saved for this trip. They know I am not bragging,just sharing my amazing experience.

I think we have to decide whether the luxury we are buying is for US or to impress others. Fine balance between the two.

You can live for today you know.

FFS, you earn the money to improve your life. Not to swank around and look rich.

How bloody tacky! I find people like this laughable. What the fuck does it matter what others think? And why do you think flaunting wealth is fun?

So weird and trashy. I hope for your sake this was just click bait. Because if not I pity you.

People enjoy different things. You like labels and think others are envious. Many of them are not. So even if you do 'flash the cash' lots of people will pity your ignorance.

Ive got a modest house and car. No mortgage, a good job, BTL property and by the end of the year a sale that will make me nearly £500k after tax.
I don't worry about money anyway but I have nicer things without worrying about it but not really flash
I certainly do not compare to others. Everyone i know has more than a couple of foreign holidays a year so that doesn't even single me out!

If I was to be in a position to buy a new car, it would be great to have more space when we were driving, to have the peace of mind to know it was safer in a crash, not to feel anxious before an MOT and to have fewer moments where something isn't working as it should and we've got to get it to a garage to be fixed.

Rubbing it in the face of other people, or wanting them to be impressed by my new car, is not a factor.

FWIW, no-one actually cares about your new car or designer handbag. It's very boring to everyone else.

I'm very comfortable. I don't feel any need whatsoever to show it off because I don't need validation from other people. I live a nice contented life. That doesn't mean I don't use social media or buy nice things. It means I don't want or need to showboat. Frankly I find the desire or need to do so quite sad.

I guess it depends on how much of your self-worth is located in what other people think of your stuff? I can’t relate to your mindset at all, to me having money would mean being free from worry and able to spend more time doing the things I love. But you do you!

Isn't it sad that people can't put fancy holiday photos on social media without it being seen as bragging.
We're quite wealthy and we quite like materialistic things like nice cars and nice holidays.
Sometimes you just can't hide it. People ask, you turn up to work in the car. I put pictures on SM because some of my family members like to see them and ask for photos.
I think it's very difficult to hide wealth and the problem can be just as much envy as it is 'flashing the cash'.

Because you should be taking all the pleasure in the trip/bag/botox/whatever ITSELF. If you need other people's envy to make yourself feel superior, you are a sad, empty, shallow thing.

You can but making no provision for old age is irresponsible.

I wouldn't feel the need to impress the type of person who'd be impressed by a 5k handbag. A 5k handbag is just a display of financial idiocy and vanity. What do you feel it would display?

I don't need for other people to do the " oo, look at what she's got" because I don't need that kind of validation. It's worth remembering that people are all too glad to bring you back down to earth. Not least if you fail.