To do this instead of a party

[putthefireonplease]

DS birthday falls on a Saturday. Not doing a party this year but doing a sort of drop in where people can come round have cake wish ds happy birthday. So I went invitations out. DH thinks we look like cheeky fuckers. And if anyone comes they’ll feel obliged to bring a gift. Have I been really unreasonable?

For 5 year olds ??

Your husband is 100% correct on this

Shame you sent the invites without him on board

Op…. Have you ever been invited to such a thing? For a young child’s birthday?

Because your son is five

I agree. I initially thought was for local family. For friends it would be strange. Children expect to play a few games/do an activity, and sing happy birthday to birthday child as a bare minimum. Could just be for an hour, outside a meal time so squash, few snacks and cake could be enough if money is an issue.

Or if you don't want the hassle, just do something as a family instead, that's fine, children don't need a party every year.

I do feel like you’re being a bit obtuse here to be honest. I’m willing to accept I’m being unreasonable and should have been clearer no gift is needed, but ds having a wee play with friends while I chat to my friends isn’t that big a deal. I’ll clarify on the messages that no presents are needed!

You sent it out knowing yous husband agreed with all of us??

So it's about you seeing your friends, not what's best for your 5yo?

Because it's a child's birthday, not an adults. Children want to play & eat party food.

its not difficult & doesn't need to be expensive to host a ( year olds birthday party at home.

other 5 year olds are going to be confused about going to your house for DS birthday, but nothing happening.

It’s not just the presents

It is the entire “thing”

Is this a financial thing? Because seriously, a 5 year old’s birthday is the cheapest party you’ll ever throw. Sandwiches, crisps, cake, party rings. Pass the parcel, musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey. Get a stack of books from the pound shop and a packet of Haribo as a party bag. Two hours absolute max, everyone goes home, job done, happy days.

Because the 5 year olds will be expecting pass the parcel and musical statues because they think this is a birthday party.
Not being sent off to just "play" while you chat to your friends.

We’re not doing a party this year but thank you.

you can say that again!

@Needmorelego they won’t. It’s clearly not a party. But thank you.

Well hopefully....🤔

I don't think it's as shocking as people are trying to make out, but I don't really understand the concept.

Why not just have a friend or 2 round for a birthday play date, slice of cake, maybe a McDonald's or whatever and done?

Having a drop in seems like more effort to me 🤷🏽‍♀️

You don't need to do a party but don't do this weird half-thing either, it's just going to lead to disappointment and tears.

The thing is, if it’s “not a party”, then you can’t really expect multiple families to disrupt their weekend and schlep over to your house for nothing. It’s really strange.

Why would someone cry if they are invited round for cake and they get cake?

Yeah, don’t stress too much about it, you tried something new (love it!) and it’s probably going to cause a bit of confusion. Wonder if you could send out a revised invitation?

Because five year olds don't sit around and chat, generally.

And certainly not when they've been invited to celebrate a birthday.

I don’t; no pressure, if people want a slice of cake and happen to be passing great; if not, no worries

They have been invited round for a slice of cake.

What did the invites actually say? It's possible that by sending out invites people will still assume it's a party and children will turn up expecting food and cake. At that age they also will need more structure and adult involvement - they won't just go off and play nicely! Especially if you have invited several people.

I think what you suggested is what people would do with family, having an informal drop in. With friends you either do something properly (which could be a home party) or don't do anything at all.