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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m so so upset about this!

283 replies

Penny4thoughts1 · 07/12/2025 10:39

I am struggling money wise after a tough few years (or 5 years really) but I was never well off. A few weeks ago I asked my dsis if I could borrow 500quid to sort Christmas and I would pay her back. She said she didn’t have it. I thought fair enough she must have had some crazy expenses as she has two dc etc. but her and he4 do both work v good jobs. Anyway I’ve made do.
cut to this weekend…I’m so upset. She asked me if I would babysit for them for the night. (Paid, as she knows I’m broke) after her dc had gone to bed I had a bath. I was running the bath and found he4 shampoos, brands I have never really seen or used. I googled them. 25quid a bottle!!!
then to top it off I was looking for a match to light a candle as I had tidied the kitchen this morning and in the drawer was a quote for a new car being ordered for January. 500 quid deposit and cash payment due of 25k.
she did have the money she just didn’t want to lend!? Why didn’t she just say? They are due home in an hour and I just want to cry. The live in a brand new house! Furniture is new… everything is perfect and beautiful. I’m just so heartbroken that she couldn’t share 500 with her only sister, they are clearly way more well off than I even thought! Should I say anything! I wasn’t snooping by the way.

OP posts:
Pineapplewaves · 07/12/2025 10:50

No don’t say anything, you asked for a loan and she said no, it sounds like all her savings are about to be used to pay for a new car. Just because she can afford to buy more expensive shampoo than you doesn’t mean she should give you a loan.

You need to learn to manage your money better. For next Christmas start putting away a little bit each month into a savings account, if you can afford a loan repayment you can afford to put some money aside.

WhamBamThankU · 07/12/2025 10:50

You’ll look crackers if you start crying and telling them what you’ve ’found Out’ (snooped for… googling shampoo costs?!) you are absolutely not entitled to anything from your sister. My brother is doing much much better than me in life wage wise but I wouldn’t dream of expecting him to bail me out and be bitter that he buys himself nice things! Get a grip.

RomeoRivers · 07/12/2025 10:50

You have no right to be upset. It’s no one else’s responsibility to fund your Christmas. Googling the price of her toiletries is very weird.

Daleksatemyshed · 07/12/2025 10:50

Have you borrowed money from her before and did you pay it all back Op?

JudgeBread · 07/12/2025 10:51

"I wasn't snooping by the way"

Liar 😂

ThatWildMintSloth · 07/12/2025 10:52

They're entitled to do as they please with THEIR money op

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 10:53

The fact they have nice things doesn’t mean she has £500 to spare, especially right before Christmas. Decent jobs or not, most people who are living in a new house and buying a new car are able to do so because they budget properly.

But also, you are being so unreasonable and entitled, she doesn’t owe you this sort of favour, nobody does. There’s no guarantee she’d ever get that money back either.

Greengagesnfennel · 07/12/2025 10:53

Googling shampoo prices and opening things to see invoices is massive snooping!
They are paying you to babysit as a favour - most sisters would not charge a sister for this. And still you are complaining.
I’m sorry money is tight - you are not the only one who feels this at Christmas, but the way you are acting suggests that if she lent you money it could start ruining your relationship. It sounds like you feel entitled to her money for some reason.

themerchentofvenus · 07/12/2025 10:53

YABU. YABVU!!!

Your sister doesn't have to give you anything.

Stop living beyond your means. £500 for Christmas?!?!? That's ridiculous!

Peoplemakemedespair · 07/12/2025 10:53

Hang on, I’ve just reread that. Did you charge her for babysitting? I mean she literally gave you money to look after your nieces and nephews for a couple hours? And you call her tight?

Fiftyandme · 07/12/2025 10:53

She didn’t have the money - she’d already ordered a car.

She can spend her money however she wants - you can’t expect her to sit with a ‘lend my sister money’ fund at the ready at all times.

YABVVVVU

TheChosenTwo · 07/12/2025 10:53

You absolutely WERE snooping. You need to at least be honest with yourself about that.

She didn’t have the £500, she’d spent it on a car deposit.
How do you know how much money she has?
Googling her shampoo to find out the cost is just setting yourself up for jealousy and resentment.
im sorry you’ve gone through a tough time but your sister doesn’t owe you anything. She’s actually paid you to babysit your niece/nephew. I have only ever paid teenagers to babysit.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2025 10:54

lol as if this is real 😂

  1. charging to look after your asleep nieces/nephews
  2. snooping round the house
  3. googling the cost of things
  4. envy
  5. failing to save up for the least expected event of the year

clickbait bollocks

TheGrimSmile · 07/12/2025 10:54

Peoplemakemedespair · 07/12/2025 10:46

She’s clearly wise with her money. Saved well and potentially has watched every penny to afford the things that she’s got. All of her money may be accounted for. She’s literally in the process of buying a car, and you want her to hand over £500 so you can waste in on Xmas for things you don’t really need? What if that means she can no longer afford the car that she has put a deposit on? She will lose the deposit

Not necessarily. Can we stop with the narrative that those who have a lot of money have done something special to merit it. Often it's down to luck or circumstances beyond anyone's control. I say that as someone who is reasonably well-off and probably doesn't "deserve" to be. We really don't live in a meritocracy and hard work does not mean lots of money. And people who are well- off have rarely done anything to warrant that. It's mostly luck.

Sunflower459 · 07/12/2025 10:54

The fact that your sister has nice things doesn’t mean she’s morally obliged to lend you money, OP. There’s a compelling school of thought that says that lending money to family and friends is a bad idea anyway. I am sorry you’re struggling, though. This time of year is tough for a lot of people.

Hoardasurass · 07/12/2025 10:55

I'm sorry that you've had a hard time but why do you think that your sister and her husband should do without their normal toiletries and not buy a car (probably on hp) which at £25000 is not a flash car if brand new?
Its your responsibility to save for your Christmas not hers, she has her own family to buy for and tbh £500 is a lot to ask for especially in the run up to Christmas

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 07/12/2025 10:56

I imagine she said no because she knew you wouldn’t pay it back.

Motnight · 07/12/2025 10:56

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2025 10:54

lol as if this is real 😂

  1. charging to look after your asleep nieces/nephews
  2. snooping round the house
  3. googling the cost of things
  4. envy
  5. failing to save up for the least expected event of the year

clickbait bollocks

Quite!

Timebudda · 07/12/2025 10:57

Christmas is once a year.
You have had 11 months to buy bits to put aside.

Peoplemakemedespair · 07/12/2025 10:57

TheGrimSmile · 07/12/2025 10:54

Not necessarily. Can we stop with the narrative that those who have a lot of money have done something special to merit it. Often it's down to luck or circumstances beyond anyone's control. I say that as someone who is reasonably well-off and probably doesn't "deserve" to be. We really don't live in a meritocracy and hard work does not mean lots of money. And people who are well- off have rarely done anything to warrant that. It's mostly luck.

Show quote history

Oh behave. That’s not what I meant and you know it

Vitriolinsanity · 07/12/2025 10:58

I would NEVER do this to my sister. She is minted and ridiculously generous and instead of envy I enjoy watching her enjoy the rewards of her very hard job.

You snooped in her house. It’s unforgivable.

pictoosh · 07/12/2025 10:58

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 07/12/2025 10:56

I imagine she said no because she knew you wouldn’t pay it back.

Let's not start fabricating things eh?

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/12/2025 10:58

Absolutely hilarious.

Vitriolinsanity · 07/12/2025 11:00

TheGrimSmile · 07/12/2025 10:54

Not necessarily. Can we stop with the narrative that those who have a lot of money have done something special to merit it. Often it's down to luck or circumstances beyond anyone's control. I say that as someone who is reasonably well-off and probably doesn't "deserve" to be. We really don't live in a meritocracy and hard work does not mean lots of money. And people who are well- off have rarely done anything to warrant that. It's mostly luck.

Show quote history

Give over. Sometimes it’s luck and circumstance. Most of the time it’s graft.

Peoplemakemedespair · 07/12/2025 11:00

I wonder if her paying you to look after your nieces (when they were in bed) was her way of trying to help you. And this is how you repay her