17 year old lifted and laid

[shonapop]

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

I’m amazed at the number of posters who are not familiar with the phrase, lifted and laid. I say this all the time about my own teens wanting to be dropped off and picked up from everywhere. Now I’m wondering if no one knows what I’ve been talking about all along!

Only here to find out what lifted and laid means, lol. I’m Scottish, have lived all over central Scotland and never heard it. Lifted means arrested normally, and laid could be a few things as we all know, lol.

That's so cool op. I learnt something today!!

So is it that the 17 year old got lifted and laid or is it you? I mean does the lifted and laid refer to eg your son or to you?

I have heard of mug before. We use that here as well. (Quite a bit south of you)

Irish here - and being laid is definitely not something your parents would actively help out with

Xxx

I’m Irish (NI) and it’s a known phrase here. But maybe not so widely used nowadays. To me it means getting all your wants and needs met.

OP - I don’t do many lifts unless necessary, just start saying no.

Everyday is a school day..
17 Yr old is lifted and laid by me. Compared to when I was that age, they dont know they are born. I was very capable and independent.

So funny - I’m in Scotland as well and had no idea until now that this was a regional phrase.

I guess the English word might be cosseted?

From Rep of Ireland, Munster area and never heard of this. I came back to the thread to find out what it means! I love how diverse language is From region to region.

I am not from NI and knew exactly what it means 🤷‍♀️
Unless you live in the middle of nowhere and there's no decent transport links then bus pass should be used. I do not understand why so many areas have school buses that run on public transport routes when pupils have free travel. Fair enough if there's a large time difference but for the routes I am familiar with there isn't!

@shonapop I would encourage him to sort be out his own transport more often if the buses are reliable. Doesn’t need to be all the time as teens often have good conversations with their parents while driving (mine did anyway),

IMHO, older teens/young adults need to learn how get around independently, we’re not doing them any favors if we facilitate everything. I was chatting to a friend earlier and was surprised to hear that she’s booked her DD’s (21) flight home from uni for the winter break (we’re in the US so many students are in other states). My DD (20) just books her own flights on the app, it’s so easy nowadays!

I think every teen would act like this if allowed.

DH and I absolutely do say no. We also actively teach ours how to show respect for our time - try to figure out how to do it on their own or with reasonably limited inconvenience to others, ask in advance, ask politely, show flexibility, and say thank you - and make sure that doing so is rewarded with more willing help. I think teens are old enough to hear things like "if you had asked me last week/yesterday I could have planned for it but now my schedule is full" and "there's a bus that will only take you an extra 15 minutes while saving me a 30 minute round trip and dragging your little siblings along, so I don't think that's a reasonable request" and "I spent 45 minutes driving you to your mate's last Friday instead of having the early night I was looking forward to and you didn't say a word the whole trip then couldn't even be bothered to say thank you. I don't enjoy feeling like an unpaid uber driver, so this weekend it's a no".

We're happy to help our kids and of course we're going to look after their needs, but we're also teaching them how to be kind, successful humans in the adult world. I think that learning how to ask for help/teamwork in a way that doesn't create reluctance or resentment in others is a really powerful life skill. Plus parents are human and our feelings do matter.

TLDR: this is a great opportunity to teach your kids how not to be a CF. You can do it.

I am wondering the same. I relate it to travel generally as in lifted (like in a big chair on those stick things), carried and laid (laid out for people to fawn over). It has always made perfect sense to me.

I am worring what else I say that might have more dubious or negative interpretations 😆

I relate it to travel generally as in lifted (like in a big chair on those stick things), carried and laid (laid out for people to fawn over).

@SometimesUnsure I’d never heard the phrase before this thread, but I love your interpretation… fawn over. 🤣🤣🤣

Yep, same here.
But has been given notice that after this exam year I will no longer be doing it in and out of university, not happening. She can get herself out to college, i am hanging up my morning keys.

I gave my kids lifts of late. Otherwise bus. However I did often drop my DD at the train station when she was at college. It’s a 15min walk but it got me up and in the park with the dog early.

I’ve never, ever heard it. My dad was Scottish, but we grew up in London.

Same 🤣

Is a fact of life they expect us to chauffeur them, but most importantly it’s a fact of life that they’re old enough to take public transport. They need to do this to develop street awareness, confidence etc snd to let go of the apron strings

Ds1 (19) usually walks or gets the bus. Ds2 (17) can't get the bus on his own due to SEN. I take him out on the bus, in the hope that one day he will be able to do it himself but it's so expensive, much cheaper to drive. Younger dc can't go anywhere unsupervised yet.

I have lived most of my life in Central Scotland (both east and west) and never heard this expression. If your teenager is spoiled though it's really your fault. Not doing them any favours if they don't know how to use public transport, read timetables etc.

Why are todays kids such lazy ass little buggers? My parents never had a car (1950s 1960s) and from age 10 I was getting the tram across Liverpool (and dodging the fare) on my own. Or we managed on a bike/bus. There s no way I would be ferrying lazy teens around like parcels.

I totally agree its my fault. I get so guilted into it and just do it to avoid feeling like a bad mum but I'm sick of it nd glad so many of you say no!
I'll feel less guilty next time.

Love a regional turn of phrase. I miss the ones from where I grew up, that no-one knows here.

If there is a bus route they can take then I’d have no truck with driving to and from work. If there is no bus and uber is uneconomical and alternative forms of transport are difficult then I’d be more obliging if a kid was working hard in and out of school.

Ideally they’d drive themselves but with lessons costing a fortune, insurance (at least) at £2k and the cost of buying a car, plus petrol and maintenance costs, it’s not possible for many families.
On balance I do help my kid to get to and from work because they couldn’t get there safely otherwise, and their earnings make a meaningful difference to the overall family finances (because I don’t find their social activities or many clothes any more etc).

I hate entitlement and would have no truck with that, though.

I don’t know lifted and laid but my mum calls me lady muck and I think she meant the same sort of thing.

make him get the bus and if he resists start being a bit drunk at the right moments