Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

17 year old lifted and laid

181 replies

shonapop · 06/12/2025 20:19

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

OP posts:
Mumwithbaggage · 06/12/2025 22:18

Oh and last bus leaves town at 5.30!

shonapop · 06/12/2025 22:19

calkel · 06/12/2025 22:15

I don’t think it’s compulsory to watch Still Game just because you are Scottish.

No but it should be 🤣

OP posts:
TicTac80 · 06/12/2025 22:21

Crikey, you learn something new each day - I'd not heard the expression before (I live in Kent, UK and have been in the UK since I was 10) - I love learning more regional English phrases!!

My DC are 19 and 12. We are (very) lucky to live about a mile out of town, so they do a lot of walking (we all have bicycles too). During the day, there is very good bus provision between our village and town. From Yr 6, they'd walk themselves to/from school, and my youngest will walk to secondary school now (like my eldest did). Up to the point my eldest did his CBT and got himself a bike, he'd walk/take bus/cycle to where he needed to go. Some of his friends drive cars and others have motorbikes. All are responsible and sensible drivers/riders.

My DC do have to be sensible and independent with travel where possible as I'm a single parent, working FT, so I can't do school runs, lifts to work (my eldest does shift work) etc etc. I expect the DC to help out at home with chores, and (where practical) make their own way to work/school/going out with friends. I also expect them to have phones with them, to stay in touch and we all have the Life 360 app (plus the Find My Phone app).

I do say though, that if there isn't public transport, or DC1 needs a lift home and it's late at night, just to call me. In the same way, if he is out with mates and one of them is stranded and can't get home, he just needs to call me: they can come back here and stay the night, or if not too far, I can drop them home. I'd rather see that they're home safe than god knows where. This doesn't happen often though, as they do make proper plans. If they were sick and school called me/any other emergencies, I'd be there to pick them up (but that goes without saying!).

@Gettingbysomehow, that's quite scary that your DS is like that still at the age of 42! He's only a little bit younger than me!

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 06/12/2025 22:24

When my DD1 was 17 she used to get the bus during the day and we’d pick her up in the evening until we all felt safe with cabs (probably closer to 19). We live in a crap area so wouldn’t have been happy with her getting the bus in the evening.

Thislittlekitten · 06/12/2025 22:35

I purposely ignored this thread all day as I was so weirded out by the title.

Im in NE Scotland and have never heard it. Lifted here means arrested and laid means to have sex! I thought it was very strange then I’m was too nosy and had to click!

MrsClatterbuck · 06/12/2025 22:39

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 20:44

Very surprised no one knows what 'lifted and laid means'
Its literally a person expecting you to do everything for them - perhaps its an NI term

Knew exactly what it meant. Very common term here in NI

AnneShirleyBlythe · 06/12/2025 22:42

CombatBarbie · 06/12/2025 20:35

Free bus pass ill assume your in Scotland but ive no friggin idea what lifted and laid means 🤣

It’s a Scottish / Northern Irish saying meaning getting everything done for you, a bit like ‘not lifting a finger’!

GreyCloudsLooming · 06/12/2025 22:44

Never heard the expression but my teens have to catch the bus because we don’t have a car.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 06/12/2025 22:45

TanitaTikTokaram · 06/12/2025 20:26

Well this certainly wasn’t what I expected from the thread title … 😳

😂 Same

AnneShirleyBlythe · 06/12/2025 22:48

Ang69 · 06/12/2025 21:02

I'm from Glasgow and we definitely use the term 'lifted and laid'. I thought it was a common expression throughout the UK.

Yes OP, my teens are the same but getting better as driving in Glasgow at the moment is a nightmare with roadworks everywhere. I now say no more often and they get the bus or train.

I’m from Lanarkshire & also surprised that others have not heard this common saying!

WhatWouldRoyKentSay · 06/12/2025 22:51

shonapop · 06/12/2025 21:57

I know! So many heads have gone to the gutter.
I can only take from it the meaning intended.. lazy and as we say around here, hawnless

I didn't go to the gutter; I thought you'd come home and your 17 yo had changed flooring somewhere in the house 😁

cariadlet · 06/12/2025 22:53

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 06/12/2025 21:44

oh get you!

im 56, have no young adults/ teens around, had a year of serious ill health, don't do insta/tik tok/x

how the living fuck am I'm supposed to be 'down with the kids'

EDIT seems it's an old regional term. Even so, ridiculous comment.

buf I hope your superiority makes you feel good.

Edited

No need to be so rude!

She wasn't being in the least superior to those of us who didn't recognise the phrase; she just expressed the natural surprise of someone who has just found out that a saying she's used all of her life has turned out to be regional dialect and very localised rather than a widespread colloquialism

Justchilling07 · 06/12/2025 22:53

TanitaTikTokaram · 06/12/2025 20:26

Well this certainly wasn’t what I expected from the thread title … 😳

😂

shonapop · 06/12/2025 22:57

WhatWouldRoyKentSay · 06/12/2025 22:51

I didn't go to the gutter; I thought you'd come home and your 17 yo had changed flooring somewhere in the house 😁

Lol love it!

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 06/12/2025 22:59

I didn't understand the title but the explanation makes sense.

My dd is 14 and gets busses or trains when she can so a 17 definitely should be.
I also give my dd plenty of lifts as well but she likes to be independent.

I only passed my test this year as well so she's used to not having a car, that probably helps.

Franjipanl8r · 06/12/2025 23:00

You’re the parent, you set the rules and expectations. I got a lot of lifts as a young teen but passed my driving test as soon as I was old enough and was made to give my parents a lot of lifts in return!

lifeonmars100 · 06/12/2025 23:05

mydogisanidiott · 06/12/2025 20:33

What on earth does lifted and laid mean

I initially thought it was going to be about a teenage carpet fitter!

shonapop · 06/12/2025 23:06

lifeonmars100 · 06/12/2025 23:05

I initially thought it was going to be about a teenage carpet fitter!

🤣🤣

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/12/2025 23:07

I like giving my teenagers and their mates lifts. We have the best chats in the car. As long as they know how to use public transport-which they do and have done on occasion, it’s not something they need to keep learning. And this time will pass. I already miss taking DD places as she drives now. Making the most of DS whilst I can🤷‍♀️

Stravaig · 06/12/2025 23:07

At 17 I'd already left home, and was managing everything for myself, including moving to and travelling around a whole new city. By 18, it was a new country and continent. Stop bloody coddling the wee princeling, he's treating you like shite!

RaraRachael · 06/12/2025 23:07

ACatCalledPuss · 06/12/2025 20:40

Can't believe so many people don't know what lifted and laid means!!

Not a phrase ever heard in NE Scotland.

I've watched Still Game loads of times but don't recall hearing it.

Confusedmumofteen · 06/12/2025 23:09

Our 17 year old is at university then work in the city centre. The (free) bus is 45 minutes to an hour but a taxi can be £50 so I do occasionally give her a lift home. This week she has missed the last bus twice due to road closures in the city which is a total pain for both of us.
She's not planning to learn to drive soon (health issue) so I think I'll be lifting and laying for a while yet. (Incidentally I had no idea this wasn't a universal phrase either!)
ETA Oh I'm in central Scotland and this is a common phrase to me ...

oneinataxioneinacar · 06/12/2025 23:10

ACatCalledPuss · 06/12/2025 20:40

Can't believe so many people don't know what lifted and laid means!!

What does it mean?

DobryWieczor · 06/12/2025 23:10

Brilliant phrase, grown up with it (and was accused of being it myself - Northern Irish)

ChristmasCrumblings · 06/12/2025 23:10

Lookingforthejoy · 06/12/2025 20:31

Me neither. I’m disappointed.

I am glad it's not that he got air lifted because of a medical emergency but my first thought was he shop lifted and then got laid.

(Look op it could be worse. At least he is not shop lifting. I presume)

Edit: not that my own spelling is any more sensible...