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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

17 year old lifted and laid

181 replies

shonapop · 06/12/2025 20:19

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

OP posts:
samarrange · 06/12/2025 21:10

thegallivanter · 06/12/2025 20:50

It’s a term commonly used in the north of Ireland - it means very well looked after/ wanting for nothing/ not expected to do anything.

Thanks. I think this is a brilliant term and I will be stealing it. But I guess @shonapop maybe didn't realise that it's not a universal expression.

calkel · 06/12/2025 21:12

Christmascanary · 06/12/2025 20:52

Are you Scottish OP? I’m Scottish and would definitely use the phrase lifted and laid.

Scottish too and have never heard it

blankcanvas3 · 06/12/2025 21:12

I’m Irish and it’s used very commonly there so maybe OP is Irish

WhineAndWine1 · 06/12/2025 21:15

The amount of Scottish people on this thread who have never watched Still Game and heard it on that astounds me

Wowcha · 06/12/2025 21:16

We have a crap bus service so sometimes I do have to transport my 17yo but 90% of the time they get the bus.

I don’t understand why they wouldn’t if they’ve got a free bus pass.

Doteycat · 06/12/2025 21:16

blankcanvas3 · 06/12/2025 21:12

I’m Irish and it’s used very commonly there so maybe OP is Irish

Im Irish and never heard of it.

Hoppinggreen · 06/12/2025 21:19

I enjoy giving mine lifts sometimes, we get to chat
I pick him up from college a couple of times a week and just picked him and his mate from a sporting event - they were very entertaining

suki1964 · 06/12/2025 21:22

shonapop · 06/12/2025 20:19

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

If you live as rural as me, then that's part and parcel. We have parents dropping the kids into work at 6;30 am before going on to their own work and come to lift at 9pm

However if I lived in a town or city where there was good transport links - at 17, they are more then old enough to find their own way

PumpkinSpiceAndEverythingNice · 06/12/2025 21:24

Also not what I expected from the title, but after reading the post I assumed it meant picked up and dropped off. Lifted from one place and laid at another.

Lucked · 06/12/2025 21:26

Glaswegian and yes made perfect sense to me.

At that age probably a combination of both. More likely to pick up if later and dark but would expect them to make their own way.

Bloozie · 06/12/2025 21:28

My son has a bus pass and a young person’s railcard. He uses public trsnsport loads. However I still give him lifts wherever he wants whenever he wants. Someone once told me that time in the car with a teenager is precious - and it is. We have our best chats in the car. He knows he can ring me at any time and I’ll come and get him.

But I love hanging out with him and helping him. He helps me too. I guess if it’s all one way with you, it must irk.

Frugalgal · 06/12/2025 21:28

shonapop · 06/12/2025 20:19

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

Christ, that's a lot more tame than I was expecting!

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 21:33

Clementine12 · 06/12/2025 21:06

Google did not help me with ‘lifted and laid’! Only confirmed my original thoughts!

You were brave googling that.

Gettingbysomehow · 06/12/2025 21:34

Its all down to you. Stop giving him lifts now. I indulged mine too much and he's still expecting me and his wife to drive him around. He's 42.
I've told him no more lifts he has to learn how to drive, he got into a right strop but Im not having it. I told him he was pathetic and not a man. He's having driving lessons now ff's.

PontiacBandit · 06/12/2025 21:34

No to lifts as standard, she catches the bus 90% of the time. She will ask for a lift from college if it's a day where she has to catch 2 buses instead of 1, it's 50% chance whether I do it, depending on my workload.

She's really lucky to have a bee network bus pass that cost £10 for 2yrs and gives her free buses all over greater Manchester. I wish I'd had that at her age.

Original poster
shonapop · 06/12/2025 21:35

Haha, I can't believe so little of you know what 'lifted and laid' means. Im in Central Scotland. It means that the 17 year old wants for absolutely nothing. Life is luxurious, sweet and easy, and in turn, I'm what we call a 'Mug' (foolish and gullible)

OP posts:
honeyfox · 06/12/2025 21:36

Commonly used in Ireland, means everything is done for you. Original context I think is to be lifted out of the bed in the morning and laid in it at night, like a toddler!

Wildflowers78 · 06/12/2025 21:36

thegallivanter · 06/12/2025 20:50

It’s a term commonly used in the north of Ireland - it means very well looked after/ wanting for nothing/ not expected to do anything.

Im from NI and have most definitely never heard this! I too was expecting something very different from this thread judging by the title..

Personally I really didn’t mind giving DD lifts if I had the time. I dropped her to school most mornings as I was going the same route to work and then she’d get the bus home. If she was going out with friends etc then I’d usually drive her.

ScottishHaggis85 · 06/12/2025 21:37

lol I thought someone was getting laid when I read it …

ChampagneLassie · 06/12/2025 21:38

I’m Scottish I’ve never heard that phrase 🤣

FoFanta · 06/12/2025 21:39

thegallivanter · 06/12/2025 20:50

It’s a term commonly used in the north of Ireland - it means very well looked after/ wanting for nothing/ not expected to do anything.

It's used in the West of Ireland too - if someone is a bit lazy you'd say "she's a bit "lift me, lay me"", like they are helpless to do anything for themselves. Would be commonly used by some of my colleagues giving out about idle/useless family members.

Doteycat · 06/12/2025 21:40

honeyfox · 06/12/2025 21:36

Commonly used in Ireland, means everything is done for you. Original context I think is to be lifted out of the bed in the morning and laid in it at night, like a toddler!

Its not. I have never heard of it. Asked dh and hes the same.
Not so common.

rainbowsparkle28 · 06/12/2025 21:40

TanitaTikTokaram · 06/12/2025 20:26

Well this certainly wasn’t what I expected from the thread title … 😳

Absolutely my thoughts as well 😂😳🤭

Original poster
shonapop · 06/12/2025 21:40

samarrange · 06/12/2025 21:10

Thanks. I think this is a brilliant term and I will be stealing it. But I guess @shonapop maybe didn't realise that it's not a universal expression.

Show quote history

Be my guest! It's a fantastic expression. I had no idea it was so little known. In actual fact if you google it, it doesn't come up with it in this context.

OP posts:
gogomomo2 · 06/12/2025 21:42

Mine used public transport from young as I was paying for the passes for school they were expected to use them! No free buses where we’ve ever lived