To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

@IslaSkywalker this is genius.

He's not nice at all but sending a postcard comes over as spiteful. Like you are getting him back for misleading you. Maybe that's not how you meant it but I think that's why you are getting a hard time.

I'm not sure that turning a blind eye is a good thing. People like the husband get away with it because everyone lets them.

That’s absolutely not what people are saying.

No one has expressed that this bloke’s behaviour is reasonable. We are saying the OP’s anger is justified but her actions are incredibly counterproductive:

• because they will cause pain to someone who the OP doesn’t know
• because they make her look utterly ridiculous
• because they won’t have the desired effect

@OP, let's face it, you were entertained it a little. You've given this too much audience and you're not 12! before it even got to him, sending inappropriate pics you could've blocked him. No need to send lengthy messages telling him to stop, postcards etc this is all too juvenile. Just block and move on. Silence.

I bet you are the kind of person who if you knew a man was cheating would just keep it to yourself and not have the backbone to let her know

OP how can you honestly think this was a good idea? If he gets the postcard he's not likely to give a shit, he'll just bin it and move on to the next woman. If the wife gets the postcard you've thrown a bombshell and she has no likely way of getting the truth because you have chosen a cowardly way of having her find out. If the kids find it, thats potentially traumatising.

And to the poster who asked why should we care about his wife and kids when this guy obviously doesn't? We should because that is most basic standard of morals and kindness - you don't treat a person poorly simply because others already have.

*edited to add, he might not have mentioned children, but he also didn't mention a wife. Why risk that?

Okayyyy

Nope. I think you were spot on.

I hope his wife DOES see it. I mean, not her fault, but she's married to a cheater. I sure as hell would want to know if I were her.

Teach him a bloody lesson, the arse.

HIS actions will have caused his wife pain and make HIM look ridiculous. Stop making excuses for pathetic, perverted men.

My initial thought was ‘good for you’ and ‘his wife deserves to know’ but with the possibility of children, that changes my view.

He won't care and probably get a kick out of it. Don't know why you wouldn't just block. This makes you look unhinged and giving him a reaction.

Well I'm with you IslaSkywalker!
Well done!
Men can be so selfish & why should you have to put up with this crap?
Brilliant idea imo! 💐

You've made yourself look stupid OP and somewhat unhinged. Twat behaviour on both sides..

That’s what the poster said you were jealous of. I’m sure some mistresses are jealous of the wife.
Personally I think you’ve done the right thing.
Hopefully he was telling the truth about no kids at home.

Blocking and deleting doesn’t work for these guys cos they move on to the next victim. There is no consequences.

Id of done the same but in an envelope not postcard just in case of kids.

His poor, poor children. You did the wrong thing, OP.

Are you sure you definitely got the right address OP? Otherwise you might have just ruined someone else’s Christmas

I don't disagree with his wife being told tactfully and with evidence (she won't believe this postcard, unless she is already suspicious), but the "Dear Mrs dick-pic-sending-enthusiast" snail mail approach does seem a little weird at best, or a lot Fatal Attraction at worst

I’m not making excuses for him. He’s a nob and I have said so.

I’m saying the OP has handled this in a way which actually gives him more power in the situation. He will likely get a huge ego boost from this spiteful and childish little action.

And if the OP was genuine in caring about his wife she would tell her in an adult way rather than playing stupid games.

Surely you can see that telling the police is a bit more explosive for his wife and possible kids to deal with than a postcard?

Why will it make the op ‘look ridiculous’? Rubbish. He is taking pictures of his own genitalia and sending it to random women. What could be more ridiculous than that? At least she’s serving up some of his own medicine.

And why is that? Men always cast women who stand up to them or don't do as they want as 'unhinged', 'mental' etc. Why should OP care about his mental gymnastics in trying to shift the blame?

Men behave like this because they think they'll get away with it. Where is his dignity? What about his wife's dignity? Isn't someone in the OPs situation keeping a 'dignified' silence just more oppression, more shut and and pretend this shitty behavior doesnt happen. Why is it on her to be 'dignified'?

Having said that, he's lied about being married, he could also have children he's lied about and that would be unpleasant for them if they were to pick this up. Maybe he should consider that before behaving like a sleazy shitbag.

Sending a postcard is just cowardly and only done to amuse the op.

Reporting a crime is different.

Because it makes very clear to this toad of a man thay he is still occupying enough headspace for her to go to the bother of buying a postcard and sending it!