To want my friend to pay for half of this cake?

[PuffPastry84]

My gran turned 90 this past weekend and I’d organised a little party at my DB and DSIL’s house. I ordered a really lovely (and not cheap) cake from a local bakery. When I picked it up it was in one of those open-top boxes.

My friend Rachel (name change obviously) came with me to help because I also had a load of presents and flowers, so she sat in the backseat holding the cake while I drove like I’d asked her

We get to the house, I open the back door to get the cake and nearly died on the spot. She hadn’t held the box at all. Instead she’d planted her entire hand on the actual cake to “stabilise it”. A full palm print, right across the icing and into one of the decorations.

Her explanation? “It was about to fall out!”

We still served it but the photos are ruined and my gran asked why the cake looked a bit squashed on one side

The cake cost £85. I said to Rachel afterwards that I thought she should pay half since the only reason it got damaged was because she grabbed the actual cake instead of the box. She’s now saying it was “just an accident” and that I’m being tight.

AIBU to think that she didn’t use her common sense and therefore should cough up half? Or am I overreacting because it was my gran’s 90th?

How does one efficiently stabilise a cake in a moving vehicle?

Voted YABU for transporting the cake in a box without a lid…

It's an annoying thing to happen but there're no way your friend owes you any money. You still ate and presumably enjoyed the cake, it just didn't look as nice as it could have. In the grand scheme of things, this is very unimportant. Take it as a lesson learned - next time you buy a decorated cake, make sure they give you a decent box and bring a large plastic storage box of your own to take it home in.

Yes, why would anyone do this...?

I have said YABU for asking for half the money.

But, YANBU to be livid with her.

That nobody with an ounce of common sense imprint their whole hand on the top of the cake. But hold onto the sides of the box. Or have it on their lap. Was there no lid on the box ? If there was she must have removed it.

I cannot but think if it was a cake for her relative she would not have done that. More care would have been taken.
Not much of a friend.

Annoying but doesn't this full into the 'bloody hell Rachel what were you thinking' category. Then you never ask for her help again with delicate cakes. I don't think asking her to pay anything improves the situation.

she wasn’t there, the cake would’ve gone on the front seat next to me. I’ve done that before with seat pushed back, seatbelt round the box, towel underneath, job done.

Next time do that then.

Yep this.

Is she a professional transportation operative? Is she a trained and skilled
in moving delicate objects. Or is she a mate who was helping out.

Maybe your driving was to blame if it was going to fall? Or how it was packaged?

Couldn’t you have put it on the passenger seat?
Would the cake have been ok there?

I make cakes too and I know this. But I don't see any real deliberate reason for anyone to plant their hands inside messy frosting, other than for instinctively trying to save it. The board may have been smaller than the box and been sliding around. And if the board and cake were not fully secured, they can absolutely move around even on a stop.

Drive an extra 4 hours rather than trust an adult to keep their hand on a box?

Your friend was doing you a favour by helping you, clearly she was either negligent not holding the cake correctly because she was on her phone, or it was just an unfortunate accident and she panicked and grabbed the cake before it fell out. But either way no I wouldn't expect her to pay half for it and I wouldn't ask her for any money. Next time I needed to transport a cake she wouldn't be on my list of people to ask, but I wouldn't hold a grudge.

You should have made sure you had a proper box/container. YABU.

She sounds like kind of an idiot, but you can’t charge her for it. You asked her to do you a favour.

Why are you friends with this person?😂

You should have asked for a proper box. The fault lies with the cakemaker. How did they expect you to get it home and to the venue safely ? I would be speaking to them and if I was Rachel I would avoid you from now on.

I think you're being massively dramatic. If the cake was eaten what's the split cost for? I'd understand your point better had you replaced it or had it re-decorated.

Life is over in the blink of an eye. If she's a good friend, laugh it off. If she's a dick generally and you think this is yet another example of her shit behaviour, don't spend time with her or rely on her.

-I asked her to hold the box steady with her hands on the outside of it. That’s literally it. A 5-second instruction a child could follow. I didn’t hand her a priceless artefact and demand financial liability. I asked her not to grab the buttercream-

seriously? You asked her these things specifically?
is she five?
if you had to give literal instructions as you say here PLUS telling her not to grab the buttercream , then why on earth would you trust her with your precious cargo, particularly when you can’t see her.
although you said you glanced over to see her on her phone, so your driving isn’t safe either.
why on earth was her hand on the cake? Was there no lid on the box? Or any kind of cover?
I don’t think it’s fair to blame your friend who you clearly didn’t trust otherwise you wouldn’t have given such explicit instructions.

sounds to me like the fault lies a) with the baker to not package it appropriately and b) with you for the reasons listed above plus not ensuring it was safely covered and putting all the responsibility on your friend when the cake was not packed safely in the first place

Rachel is a fucking dimwit moron with no common sense, but no I wouldn’t expect her to pay for half the cake already eaten, when I collect cakes i plonk them on the front seat of the car drive carefully and observe if it moves myself,why wasn’t she even in the front rather than the back? £85 is standard price for custom cakes it wasn’t a giant sculpture at that price that wouldn’t fit in the front so why was she in the back at all? She was engrossed on her phone and idioticly put too much pressure on the cake without realising because she’s a pure dope.

She would have been better not holding it at all possibly. I’ve transported cakes in a car like this and usually because the back seat slopes slightly towards the back that prevents it moving much. Too much margin for human error when it’s being held. She was a silly twat and id make sure she knew I was annoyed but probably wouldn’t demand payment, no.

Exactly! The cake was enjoyed and your friend kindly helped you transport it. There was a minor accident. You should have carried the cake yourself if you mind so much. Like I wont let anyone else carry the cat basket into the vet because its so important to me that the basket doesn't break open.

I agree that this was not the correct method for transporting a cake but scrolling on one's phone when looking after an important and fragile item is infuriatingly careless.

HIre something bigger or prioritise cake placement. I'm sure you could have rearranged things in your car. You asked your mother to travel four hours with a cake on her lap? That's a big uncomfortable ask to start with, and no doubt increased the risk of an accident with the cake. That's a long time to travel, let alone with a cake box on your lap. I feel sorry for your mother. She had an accident doing you a favour, in the way you chose for it to be transported, and now you're angry at her.

Yes, this sounds like a packaging problem to me.