DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Nope, he just made a mistake, no biggie. She doesn't want to figure out a solution for her pet, so she can stay home. Problem solved..

You are assuming that the OP has the funds to suddenly pay for all this. In any case, it has been pointed out many times that it is too late to do this, everywhere will be booked up.

The boyfriend's parents are well within their rights to say no to the dog. It is the boyfriend who is at fault and the OP has stated she understands this.

Costs nothing to leave it home for a few hours and it would be absolutely fine of course.

Again, no biggie, mistakes happen. She can just choose to stay home.

He should have checked sooner but that’s probably a typical male thing. I wouldn’t want a dog in my house either so can see where they are coming from. How do you know the dog doesn’t like kennels? Try it and see he will probably be fine.

It depends how many hours the dog would be left alone as the boyfriend's parents home is several hours away. If it's longer than the usual working day then it's not OK. It's a living, sentient being not a robot dog you can switch off. I would definitely stay at home.

I understand that you don't want the solution to be simple, but it is. It's just a dog, no need to get overwrought at leaving it home for a few hours.

And if she is determined to not find a solution for her pet, she can stay home. Sorted.

OP and the dog squad are desperate for this to be a crisis of some kind. Her boyfriend of 6 months made a mistake - shit happens.

And since she's determined to refuse all solutions, she can stay home with the dog. It's just not a big deal.

The boyfriend's parents live several hours away, so of course she can't leave the dog alone.

Of course she can, don't talk daft. But if she chooses not to, she stays home.

Problem solved.

He should have asked sooner about the dog but even if he did the outcome would be the same. You’d be at home alone because you don’t want to put DL in kennels

You’d leave a dog alone for 3 days?

@ohnotthisagain2020

Loads of solutions, put it in kennels, leave it home, get someone to pop in and walk/feed it, rent somewhere nearby that allows pets.

Zero solutions as OP has explained. She doesn't want to distress it in a kennel (if she could get a space now) or in strange place - wouldn't wash anyway because T&C's usually state no unattended dogs. I'm sure it she could just get someone to pop in and walk/feed it over Christmas she'd do it, but that's a big ask even if there is anyone suitable close by - it's not as easy as you seem to think. Would you be happy to 'pop' in several times a day over Christmas?

Her boyfriend just made a mistake, no biggie. Nothing to stress about, at all.

Well as it's completely disrupted her Christmas, it's a bit of a biggie. I'm sure she'll forgive him, but she's quite rightly annoyed that he fibbed and didn't check and has left her in the lurch and she is upset that she won't be doing what they had planned.

It's just a dog, it has no idea it's Christmas

It's not just a dog to the OP though is it?

she can just stay home with the dog. Sorted.

Not sure why you're so down on the OP?

Don't talk daft, what a weird suggestion that nobody made. If she doesn't want to leave the dog home for a few hours she can stay home. Problem solved.

Not sure why you're making things up. Everything I said is simply factual.

@ohnotthisagain2020

Which bit did I make up?

The parents are a few hours away. OP would be gone for most of the day minimum.

Unsure if you are just trying to wind posters up?

Right. And OP would normally be at her own mum's but she's gone on holiday, and she could also go to her brother's.

OP is angry with her boyfriend of six months because he said "it's just one of those things" - which it absolutely is.

If a relative they loved and trusted offered to pet sit for Christmas day she'd find a way to put the kibosh on that too.

He didn't grovel sufficiently and he hasn't offered to ditch his family for her dog and she has realised that - like most of us - he likes dogs but doesn't pretend they matter as much as humans.

That's the crux of the whole thing.

The weird nonsense about being down on the OP. Entirely made up.

Facts don't care how the OP, or you, or anybody else feels. If she's determined not find a solution, she can stay home with her dog. Sorted.

Op said she’ll not see her DP the day before or after Christmas, so the plan was probably to go spend Christmas Eve, day and Boxing Day with the family (3days). So it’s not a few hours.

He didn't grovel sufficiently and he hasn't offered to ditch his family for her dog and she has realised that - like most of us - he likes dogs but doesn't pretend they matter as much as humans.
That's the crux of the whole thing.

The actual 'crux' of the whole thing according to OP:

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

To be fair, I wouldn’t sacrifice spending Christmas with my family because my boyfriend of 6 months didn't want to leave their dog.

It would be different if they’d been together for years, but they haven’t.

It’s making me want to 🤮

Well at least you're not pretending anybody suggested she stayed away days even though you are simply inventing the time line. Even dog worshippers are forced to admit that leaving a dog home for 8 hours once in a while is totally fine (yep, loads of sites do reluctantly admit that and I checked).

And there is nothing at all to suggest she could not go for a couple of hours then drive back in an even shorter time.

But she doesn't want to use kennels, doesn't want to pay a sitter, doesn't want to leave the dog home but wants what she cannot have - her dog to be invited or her boyfriend not to spend the day with his family.

She could also go to her brother's but chooses not to ask him.

Mainly, she wants her boyfriend not to say "it's just one of those things". But it is.

Since OP won't accept any other solutions, she can stay home. And thus, the problem is solved.

These things happen.

That's not relevant to what I said though, I suggested she leave her pet home for a few hours. Plans change.