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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

1000 replies

Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:15

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

OP posts:
Whatwait · 05/12/2025 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pluvt · 05/12/2025 18:23

Stay home and eat turkey with the lab. Dogs are nicer than humans.

Momentarylapseofsanity · 05/12/2025 18:24

You aren’t being unreasonable.

His parents aren’t being unreasonable.

He was massively unreasonable to tell you it was fine when he hadn’t checked, and now let you down with a few weeks to go.

I’d very politely ask him to extend your thanks to his parents for inviting you but say you have to sadly decline as you don’t have dog care. I’d let him know just how badly HE has let you down here.

Do you have somewhere else to go at Christmas, or are you and the dog going to enjoy sprawling on the couch together and snoozing through terrible Christmas tv?

Screamingabdabz · 05/12/2025 18:24

It’s perfectly normal not to want an animal padding around your house. YABU for thinking the world revolves around your pet.

PortSalutPlease · 05/12/2025 18:24

MN hates dogs so you’ll get loads of people saying YABU but the dog is family. Why should they be in kennels for Christmas!

MrsLizzieDarcy · 05/12/2025 18:24

I would never put my dogs in kennels, ever. They're horrific stressful environments for dogs, let alone ones you profess to love. I'm horribly suspicious of non dog lovers, OP, I'd take it as a sign and avoid these people becoming your future in laws. Ditch him. You'll have a much nicer Christmas at home alone with your dog.

Ohgoonthenanotheronefortheroad · 05/12/2025 18:24

I would absolutely hate having a dog in my house so they are well within their rights to say no in their own home. It's then your decision whether you make arrangements for the dog or make alternative plans.

Original poster
Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Once, they knew about DL and said they’d like to meet him one day

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 05/12/2025 18:24

YABU for saying his family have uninvited your dog, YANBU for being pissed off with him for lying about asking them in the first place. He sounds a bit of an idiot, is he even worth spending Christmas with?

LondonLady1980 · 05/12/2025 18:25

Your title is a little misleading as your dog hasn't been un-invited by your PIL as he was never invited by them in the first place was he.

Your Partner shouldn't have offered you and your dog go to his parent's house without checking with them first. He was wrong to assume they wouldn't mind as it's a huge ask.

Mind you, the fact he's only just raised it with his parents now probably implies that he knows his parents wouldn't agree to it and he was putting off asking them.

I would be very disappointed that he'd led you to believe that it had all been sorted when he hadn't even actually asked them.

I hope you manage to find alternative plans and I'm sorry this has happened at such short notice.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 05/12/2025 18:25

If you won't kennel him you don't go...such is life. I wouldn't want someone else's dog staying in my house either. He should have asked sooner, he has put his parents in a really difficult position.

Can your ex have him?

But YABU to refer to the dog as DL. Vom

Whatwait · 05/12/2025 18:25

when you last met them… did you have the dog with you?

it’s a short term relationship
you have met his folks once

as I say - either DP doesn’t want you to join and using his folks as an excuse

or

your DP genuinely forgot to ask and when he did - they said no. As I would have done!!

snoopythebeagle · 05/12/2025 18:25

Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:24

Once, they knew about DL and said they’d like to meet him one day

Show quote history

There's a difference between "wanting to meet him one day" and wanting him in their house. My parents would never allow my dog in their home and nor I would expect them to.

He's my dog, my choice and my "issue" to deal with.

Feelingsunny · 05/12/2025 18:26

Be pissed off with him, but the parents haven't done anything wrong.

sleepwouldbenice · 05/12/2025 18:26

Whatwait · 05/12/2025 18:19

They haven’t uninvited him op
Your DP asked
they reasonably said no

do you live with your DP?

Op didn't say they uninvited her DP
She's annoyed he didn't ask on a timely basis

Bruisername · 05/12/2025 18:26

He was never invited in the first place! This is a DP issue tbh and the kind of thing my DH did a lot in the early days. I decided I didn’t want to take that mental load from him so I always ensured he was the one embarrassed rather than me

anyway, they haven’t changed their mind as they never had the chance! I think you have to take it with good grace but I assume making other plans will be a little trickier given how close to Christmas he left it (finding kennels could be tricky too)

Original poster
Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:26

Momentarylapseofsanity · 05/12/2025 18:24

You aren’t being unreasonable.

His parents aren’t being unreasonable.

He was massively unreasonable to tell you it was fine when he hadn’t checked, and now let you down with a few weeks to go.

I’d very politely ask him to extend your thanks to his parents for inviting you but say you have to sadly decline as you don’t have dog care. I’d let him know just how badly HE has let you down here.

Do you have somewhere else to go at Christmas, or are you and the dog going to enjoy sprawling on the couch together and snoozing through terrible Christmas tv?

As it’s stands it’s just me and DL at home. I would usually go to my DM’s but she is spending it abroad this year.

OP posts:
SP2024 · 05/12/2025 18:26

Your partner is unreasonable for not checking earlier. You’ll be way too late for kennels now anyway so he’s effectively saying you can’t go.

Dearg · 05/12/2025 18:26

Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:21

My DL really doesn’t smell. And shedding is minimal if anything at the moment. So I think that’s a very sweeping statement.

Show quote history

I agree with this. My Labradors ( black) are not huge shedders, and I love their scent, BUT, I would not expect them to be welcomed everywhere, especially to a house of non-dog lovers, with cream carpets to boot.

This is on your DP though for letting you think your lovely lab was welcome.

It’s probably too late to book anywhere/ anyone to look after your dog, but it is worth finding a kennel or dog sitter that can help out if you need them ( ps if you are in Aberdeenshire, I will take your dog 😁)

thistimelastweek · 05/12/2025 18:26

He made assumptions on his parents' behalf and is happy to let you down on finding out differently.
In that regard you are not being unreasonable. He's a prat who's happy to let you down at short notice. Bear that in mind going forward.

However, the DLabrador is a D prefix too far for me.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2025 18:26

He should have checked properly. This is on him, not his parents.

Whatwait · 05/12/2025 18:26

Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:24

Once, they knew about DL and said they’d like to meet him one day

Show quote history

Yes

as I would have done. Said something

but to stay with me over Christmas, the owner being someone I’ve met once? No, thank. You.

NemesisInferior · 05/12/2025 18:27

Nah, that's shitty of DH to lie and say it's ok, and then to turn around and say otherwise. His parents haven't done anything wrong, but that's a dick move on his part.

sleepwouldbenice · 05/12/2025 18:27

sleepwouldbenice · 05/12/2025 18:26

Op didn't say they uninvited her DP
She's annoyed he didn't ask on a timely basis

Show quote history

Whoops no i understand now after re reading. True

devildeepbluesea · 05/12/2025 18:27

Momentarylapseofsanity · 05/12/2025 18:24

You aren’t being unreasonable.

His parents aren’t being unreasonable.

He was massively unreasonable to tell you it was fine when he hadn’t checked, and now let you down with a few weeks to go.

I’d very politely ask him to extend your thanks to his parents for inviting you but say you have to sadly decline as you don’t have dog care. I’d let him know just how badly HE has let you down here.

Do you have somewhere else to go at Christmas, or are you and the dog going to enjoy sprawling on the couch together and snoozing through terrible Christmas tv?

Absolutely this. Quite honestly I wouldn’t really want to spend Christmas with him at this point anyway.

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