DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Agreed

Orrrr, he thought she was stupid for asking such a stupid question. Was yeah yeah yeahing her. Then realised and said. Nah dont be stupid.

My MIL has white carpets. My children are fine there. Take off your shoes and dont spill things. Simple. You are comparing dogs to children. In this instance its not even their "grand-dog, just someone else's dog.

I get that but their meant to be vetted and insured just an idea

How do they police such a thing? Excuse me, before you enter, do you like dogs? Or before I chat to you, do you like dogs? People who will look down on others who don't like dogs are actually the people ill avoid then because they are nuts.

Totally agree

In this situation, I would expect my partner to say something along the lines of: “I’m really sorry, I was sure my parents would say it was OK to bring DLab, but I was an idiot and didn’t check until now - and it’s not OK. I appreciate it’s now too late for you to find someone you’re comfortable leaving DLab with, so we’ll have a doggy Christmas together and then I’ll go and visit my family the next day / few days”.

I wouldn’t allow anyone to bring a dog into my home under any circumstances. Especially not one that belongs to someone’s random gf. Stay at home and share a turkey leg with your beloved dog if it’s so precious it can’t go into kennels 🙄

Grand-dog 🤮🤮

For course you feel pissed off. Your boyfriend has been dishonest and weak. It's very disappointing to have your plans scuppered like this.

I know how much people love their dogs. But I won’t let my daughter bring her dog to my house.
it’s not well trained, jumps on everything and won’t lie down. I just can’t cope. She accepts this.
luckily she babysits for her neighbour, then in return her neighbour is happy to look after her dog for a day. I am also happy to pay for kennels.

It's your dp's fault for not dealing with it but it's a dog. I have great friends who adore their dogs (unable to have children) and have had au pairs for them etc while working but no way would they impose their impeccably behaved labs on other people. They use kennels and have a dog sitter. It's what people do.

Your not a dog person I take it? 🙄

@Janicchoplin

im a dog person but would have no issue putting a dog in kennels if I wanted to go on holidays or whatever 🤷‍♀️

YANBU to be upset with DP. Hopefully you can go to DB for xmas with your DLab. No way would I put my DDog in kennels... christmas or any other time if the year.

I'm allergic to dogs and no way would one be coming into my house to accommodate someone's beloved pet.
Not everyone is a pet lover and you need to accept that.
Either put dog into kennel, pay a house sitter, leave dog with trusted friend or don't go. Easy.
Don't be offended at DPs parents for saying no. They aren't being unreasonable at all IMO.

Nahhh it's not 'just one of those things', that's on him for clearly not asking his parents. Nob.

So what you'll just never be able to go to his parents?
Carpets can be cleaned. Ironically don't like the whiff of this.

I don't think they are offended by the dog not being allowed, it's having been told originally it was fine. Leaves them in the lurch now.

And that's fine. I've never put my dog in kennels and nor would I. I didn't get a dog to go away on holidays. Both scenarios are fine.

Kennels has done a lot of dogs harm, anxiety or otherwise

Don't put poor dog in kennels because your partner lied. I'd see this as a massive red flag and question the whole relationship to be honest. Dogs are family. Your partner is completely unreasonable in my opinion.

Yes. Children can make mess, dogs can make mess ? What's your point

Does your DP like your dog? Maybe he's trying to find a way to spend time with you without your dog, since he might not be fond of dogs. Some people prefer not to have dogs in their home, and that's understandable because it's their space.

If it were me, I’d politely decline the invitation, explaining I'm not comfortable leaving my dog in an unfamiliar environment, as that can lead to dogs getting lost or running away.

This situation would also make me reconsider whether I want to continue the relationship, since my dogs are very important to me. I haven't seen my family in over six years because they live abroad and don't visit, and I refuse to send my dogs to a kennel to visit family who rarely respond to texts and never call

I hope you realise i was being facetious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@B33cka8

ohh no, I live for holidays - couldn’t sacrifice them in order to avoid my dog having to go into kennels! Dog can cope in kennels- might not like it but that not end of world, but I can’t turn back time on my death bed and see the world.