DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Honestly I'd bin him for having stupid parents.

Labs are lovely. Its makes Christmas having a farting dog over the holidays snuggled up to you.

Cream carpets. What a world.🙄

You might not think he smells, but all dogs smell. I’ve never been in anyone’s house who has a dog and not been able to smell it.

That's exactly what her title is!

You absolutely can go if you just put the dog in a kennel, and it will be absolutely fine. You're just choosing to. The dog, I am sorry to say, is just a dog.

Also, DLabrador is a new low in the D stakes. Get a grip. Your partner ballsing up the arrangements is another issue, but deciding to spend Christmas along because of a dog is absolutely insane.

The dog

they didn’t uninvite the dog

yeah, he really does. And will make a non-dog house smell of dog.

Your partner is a knob, and a few days in Kennels won't hurt your dog.

I love dogs, but I wouldn't let someone bring their's to my house, because I have cats. Other people might say no because of allergies, others because of phobias, others because of cream carpets. It doesn't make us stupid 😂

They didn’t uninvite your dog, your dog was never invited. This is solely on your “D”P not his parents.

I doubt you’ll find space in kennels over Christmas at this late stage, so your “D”P says it’s one of those things and you’ll be spending Christmas apart (hopefully you won’t be alone OP? Most people have made plans by now!) rather than opting to not go to his parents and stay with you and the dog so you can be together at Christmas.

I know who I’d be annoyed with and it’s not the parents who want to keep their carpets nice. Not everyone is “dog people” and I say that as very much a dog person.

Was the OP asking if it's unreasonable to have a labrador in the house? I thought the OP was asking if it was unreasonable to be upset with someone for telling her something was fine, and then when it's too late to make other arrangements, telling her it's not fine.

It's far too late now to get DL into kennels as all the decent ones will have been booked up for months. It isn't his family's fault and they haven't uninvited DL, he was never invited. So yep, your DP is a massive twat.

This is fully a dp problem, he was very thoughtless!

But, yes, stay at home. I wouldn't leave my dog either.

But that's what her title is - it's misleading.

Her "D"P is the issue here.

They aren’t dog people
he would have known this

he is using them as an excuse op
he always knew they’d say no so didn’t ask until it was too late for you to
Make arrangements.

No

DP’s family
uninvited
DLab

yes misleading

Totally agree with sentiment here. Usual dog pile on. But tbf the title implies that the AIBU is the dog being uninvited. Which he wasnt

Could your ex have him for Christmas?

Yes.

Which they didn't do.

He was never invited.

You're talking about the dog like it's a child. I don't blame his parents. Either put the dog in kennels or don't go.

You honestly think OP will be able to book a kennel place for Christmas at this late stage? OP, stay at home and have a lovely Christmas with your lab, sounds like it would be stressful with DP's parents.

I would be a bit suspicious that he didn't want you there for Christmas since he didn't even ask them.

So has he offered to pay for the dog to go to a sitter?

yes

i picked up on that in my very first response

I reckon the DP is using his folks as an excuse. He has changed his mind about op joining

Just stay at home and enjoy Christmas with your dog.

I’d consider if you really want to continue a relationship with someone who lies to you about something so important. The issue is solely with your partner and him telling you that your dog was invited when he hadn’t actually checked - unless what he said was “I’m sure it will be fine if your dog comes along” and you have misheard that.

You also say his parents said they would like to meet your dog one day. That sounds the kind of thing people who don’t like dogs would say. Meeting a dog and having one stay is a big difference. However, there is nothing unreasonable about them not wanting your dog to stay and letting your partner know that as soon as they were asked.

He's a bit of a thoughtless twat then, isn't he, your partner?

What a ridiculously childish post.

I've got two dogs and I would never call someone stupid for not wanting them in their house.

The OP's boyfriend is the stupid one.

I'd be annoyed at DP for being an bloody idiot and telling me it was ok. I'd be totally understanding about people not wanting to accommodate my dogs. My last dog passed away very sadly this year, and in all the years I had her and her sister, we never expected others to welcome them with open arms. They were not typically smelly dogs, but ALL dogs smell to a degree and they do all leave hair and muddy paws and piss and shit in the garden and take up space. A lab isn't a small dog that can be picked up or sit on a lap (even though they try).
There's no point trying to force them to let you bring your dog, so get yourself some nice Christmas food, go for some long walks and have a nice peaceful time. My friend does it with her three dogs alone every year and absolutely loves it -she drives to the coast and they have a special beach walk.