To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

You do realise you’re beginning to sound quite childish..

But you seem quite keen to correct everyone else?

For example.....

He was in trainers so hardly an effort! I am so glad I am not in the dating game but celebrating 25 years of marriage tonight. When did women’s standards drop so low?

I've been married for 25 years and my DH wore trainers for most of our dates.

Perhaps it’s more that MN is a bit more feminist / equal partnership than trad wife? It’s not about the bar being on the floor at all. It’s not the 50s.

I said in a post how I would expect a guy to dress on a date, & you jumped on me for saying what I said, with smart ass shit of “ does anyone even wear nice chinos anymore, I only ever see it on Mumsnet “
Obviously you know how the general population of men dress .
You just pass off comments to get a reaction.
I’m a bigger fool for engaging with you !

I’m straddling the line between you being unreasonable and reasonable.

I think he could have walked you to the Tube as it’s just a decent thing to do.

However, for him you must have come across as a walking red flag for grabbiness. He paid for dinner which is nice but then you said you couldn’t afford a cab. It’s terribly rude as surely if you had money from your part of the meal then of course you could have gotten a black cab…..even to the Tube! And if he thinks this way then you kind of deserve it given you pointedly state that he can afford it.

In any event, someone who brags like that is also a walking red flag and I’d find it terribly offputting.

Lesson learned for you to always be able to afford a way home.

Sounds like an absolute bore monologuing about his wealth- and cheap not offering to share a cab with you if only to pay for it and get you home safely.
But as mentioned above, maybe he felt he'd spent more than enough time with you..sorry but it sounds like he was running for the hills

JFC. A prostitute because she would have liked him to walk her to the station/tube? Even if that's totally unreasonable, it's a pretty big jump from that to sex for money, don't you think?

I think it's worth reconsidering how you do first dates especially in the winter - your difficulties would have been less had you finished a coffee date at 7pm than dinner much later in the evening.

First dates are supposed to be relatively cheap (regardless of who pays) and easy to end early in case either of you isn't enjoying it (or worse) so drinks/ coffee/a walk in a busy park rather than relatively expensive meals.

I've never used Uber. Have used other private hire companies. In a relatively nice restaurant I'd ask the staff for some names of locally good private hire companies.

I don't know whether I'd decide walking to the tube was a better option than walking to a taxi rank or to a McDonald's (or equivalent late opening place with customers+ staff) to wait for a private hire car. Would depend how far I'd already walked and on the weather.

I think a chunk of the comments you're getting are coming from the perspective of first dates being for weeding out red flags and somebody taking too great an interest in your 'safety' the first time you meet is problematic.

You've now got knowledge - different people's basic standards are very different to yours, so you can ask explicitly next time - 'please could you walk to x station with me?' and see what response you get.

Central London in the dark is pretty safe because of the numbers of people about. And men are at greater risk of attack than women.

The post you are referring to wasn't actually my post.....
That was a post at 17:57 by Purplevelvets
So perhaps you might want to reconsider your "smart ass shit" response....?

If it was your daughter going to the tube alone at night because some wanker couldn’t be arsed to walk her to it after a date you’d have a completely different opinion

Oh god. Yes it’s a vulnerable time but I can guarantee the old school men who
’provide’ for the women are the ones who are really not the one who’s there for you when you have a child. What you need is an equal partner, one who will keep the house chores in order while you recover. One who will get up and change the baby in the night. Hold the baby while you rest. I can 100% guarantee you that the men who are
’chivalrous’ will be the man who works such long hours that they are ‘far too tired’ to do anything with the child or the house when they get home. Also, I saw it as both mine and my husband’s job to save up for me being off work on maternity leave, so it was both our responsibilities, didn’t need to be looked after.

Agree and that's at best. Men who think adult women need "looking after" are generally awful sexists.

Sorry you’re right , that wasn’t you. , apologies my mistake .

Have you heard back from him OP?

I live with 3 men under 50 and not one of them owns a pair of chinos. Neither does BIL or two nephews in early 20s.

DP would weather either smart jeans or proper tailored trousers. DSs either good jeans or something trendier with lots of pockets.

All of them would wear trainers and be able to walk for the Tube for all but the most formal occasions. The men I work with who wear suits often pair them with trainers.

TBH "even" women wear trainers to be smart casual these days and the days of no trainer policies in even the swankiest clubs are long gone - if they tried to enforce it they'd be turning away all their custom.

IME men who still think going out means real shoes lost interest in clothes c. 20 years ago.

He was keen to see her again according to the OP...

A previous post from OP said she was on a 4th date tonight with someone.....

Yes Arlanymor , ( I think your opinion is worth hearing & I always like reading your view on things ), but she did think she was going to be getting an Uber home , that was her plan ..

It sounds like neither of you were that interested

The point you keep missing @Muffinmoo is that he wasn’t interested enough to give you princess treatment. He may very well treat other women differently, he just didn’t think you required it. Essentially you’re missing the fact that you both likely didn’t see much coming from this date, and he cut his losses sooner.

I like chinos though & that’s ok too , I happen to see lots of guys wearing them being honest & I’m not talking old fogies !

I wear converse myself with skirts & dresses & other runner types that look nice , only I call them all shoes !
When OP made a point of saying Date wore trainers , straight away I thought they must have been tacky or she wouldn’t have mentioned it .

Quite. Obvs why he.hasnt been snapped up..