To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

OP he just didn't like you that much.
Don't go on dates you can't get yourself home from.
You were trying to test him and he wasn't interested in passing your test.

I'm assuming he didn't want a second date so saw no reason to spend more money getting you home when he would never see you again. Fair enough.

Did you split the meal cost? I'm just thinking if he offered to pay and you accepted then he would have no way to know that if he offered to pay the taxi fayre you would of offered it back.

Yes it would’ve been nice to do but not really necessary in this day and age unless you live in a really rough area. It’s better to tell a friend you’re going on a first date and get them to check in in case the date is a wrong’un.
If money is really important to him then I think he probably lost interest when you said you couldn’t afford a cab home and that’s why he left you and didn’t check you’d got home. Or you’d like someone more caring and he’s just not the right guy for you

So you thought he was boring, but he was good enough to pay for your taxi home? Perhaps you both dodged a bullet.

I think you’ve totally misunderstood what people talk about when they talk of having standards I’m afraid.

it is very clear that this bloke was not remotely in to you, and if you are in real life as you have come across on this thread, that isn’t remotely surprising.

so he therefore didn’t make any effort to adhere to standards, why would he, he owes you nothing at this stage.

You faffed about, deliberately hoping he’d pay for your cab, and he thought fuck this shit. I think if you’d never pretended you were going to get a cab, and were always going to get the tube, he might have walked you.

I take it you’ve never taken the tube alone at night?

I think it's more of a case that he definitely doesn't sound like gentleman, in other words not kind or caring.
Better to find out now than later.

I offered to pay for half of the meal, but he paid, which is fair if he chose the venue I think.

I love how angry some posters get when women have basic standards. I think walking me to the tube is kind of basic.

It upsets me when women go all helpless.

You're in London close to a Tube, why would you get a cab anyway, especially if you can't afford one?

I wouldn't want a man I didn't know seeing me home, you're safer on your own than with him anyway. This is one of those situations where they can't do right for doing wrong.

I expect he didn't fancy wasting any more time on someone who'd look to him to solve all her practical and financial problems.

I would expect It from DH or a long term partner. Not from a first date. I would be too embarrassed to come across as a helpless incapable person in front of first date.

Did you check if he got home ok?
Did he force you to wear heels or whatever else you were wearing?

It would have been nice if he did what you wanted. But as an adult it is your own responsibility to be able to get your self home safely if you've been out on a planned meetup or event. It is your responsibility to ensure you are in appropriate wear for walking. It's your responsibility to make sure you can afford to get your self home safely.

Getting caught off guard in an emergency or unplanned situation would be a different matter.

So it was all a test, he isn't stupid and isn't interested in playing games.

I wasn’t faffing around I tried to book 4 Ubers before giving up. I’d much rather have got a taxi than the journey I ended up taking.

it’s more the attitude of not giving a shit than paying for stuff. I dressed up nicely. He wore trainers and didn’t even put a proper shirt on. I just don’t understand how such low effort has become normal.

Only if he liked you I think. If he had no intention of ever seeing you again, I’m not sure what walking you to the station would achieve, as you’d still have to walk by yourself at the other end?

If his tube station was closer but ran through your tube station why didnt you just hop on with him and then change at the next station?

Two words. Sarah Everard.

I've just run this past DH, who to be fair is not always the most chivalrous of men. OP, he says he would have walked you to the Tube or, if he was feeling flush, he would have paid for your cab.

Well, all that wealth and business knowledge didn’t make him a gentleman did it?! I would bother with a second date ……

I wouldn't have expected someone who spent the night talking about himself to suddenly become a knight in shining armor when I was for some reason struggling with getting a taxi, no.

Not going to the station, not asking you to say when you arrive home (a text perhaps?).

Glad you did arrive safely and that you know not to have a second date.

Thought as much.

So you should have paid his taxi fare.

Yanbu

She could have got the tube with him!

OP - he wasn’t being polite and friendly by going off to his tube stop. I do think he should have walked with you to the tube as you couldn’t get a cab. I always use black cabs - would have been sensible given the heels. Or as pp said call an uber whilst still in the restaurant. I guess there won’t be a second date! I wouldn’t want one either. At least he’s shown you that he’s selfish early on! Next!

He was probably testing the OP with the money talk and she fell for it.

He spent the entire date twatting on about how rich he was, but the bit that bothers you is he didn’t walk you to the tube?
I can’t be arsed with men (or anyone actually) who brag about money and if they do, ime, they often don’t actually have any. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t offer to pay for your cab? Alternatively, he’s a rich wanker. Neither are particularly appealing.
In any case, if I didn’t want to see a man again (and why would you, if he was such a dullard?) I definitely wouldn’t want him to walk me anywhere.

Rich or not he's not obliged to pay for your taxi home but a decent man would have walked you to the tube station. I'd call it a day on this one Op

He does seem rude. Why didn't HE get a black cab for himself, being so rich n all? No 2nd date required, imo.