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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
Motnight · 05/12/2025 07:36

Do you regularly pay late, Op? It's not clear from your post

KnickerlessFlannel · 05/12/2025 07:36

How often have you paid her late?

Linenpickle · 05/12/2025 07:36

She’s a judgey nosey cow!

Zanatdy · 05/12/2025 07:36

Totally unprofessional. She should have addressed this with you, not in front of an audience. But you shouldn’t need reminders, just pay on time.

Original poster
havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

OP posts:
SnappyOchre · 05/12/2025 07:37

It’s not untrue is it? You need to set reminders for yourself.

Linenpickle · 05/12/2025 07:37

Unless you were late paying then yes, yabvu.

nomas · 05/12/2025 07:37

YABU. She shouldn’t need to remind you. Why do you think it’s her job to beg you for her own money?

What happens if she stops reminding you, will you just stop paying?

Zanatdy · 05/12/2025 07:37

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

Still not good, why do you need reminding?

Isadora2007 · 05/12/2025 07:37

You should have paid her on Monday and you hadn’t by Thursday? You are definitely unreasonable. And she was being a snide cow but you deserved it, sorry.

Overthebow · 05/12/2025 07:37

She was u professional but what she said was true.

x2boys · 05/12/2025 07:38

Why are you not paying on the day its due and why does she hsve to send you reminders.?

Linenpickle · 05/12/2025 07:38

how would you feel if your employer paid you late? You’re out of order.

CrowMate · 05/12/2025 07:38

She wasn’t professional, no. Especially if payment wasn’t yet due.

A separate issue is why do you need reminders to pay each time? Is she getting fed up with having to chase you? That’s not ok.

Shudacudawuda · 05/12/2025 07:38

You should be paying her on time. She's clearly annoyed and I don't blame her.

mumof1or2 · 05/12/2025 07:38

She shouldn’t have said that in a public place, but if she has to send you reminders every month maybe she’s getting a bit frustrated with the late payments. If you don’t pay a nursery bill on time you get late charges and after 72 hours they stop taking your child. So if you did move your child to a nursery you’d have to start paying the bill on time.

Agix · 05/12/2025 07:38

Pay on time. She probably purposely brought it up in front of people so you'd finally actually take notice and realise the seriousness of it.

You understand enough to be embarrassed when other people hear of it, but not enough to take responsibility and pay on time? She shouldn't have to be sending you reminders to pay on time.

nomas · 05/12/2025 07:38

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

It’s unacceptable. You need to pay her on the day payment is due.

What happens if your employer pays you 3 days late? Do you just roll over and take it?

Barney16 · 05/12/2025 07:38

Maybe she really needs the money and you paying late means she hasn't been able to pay a bill. I don't think she should have said that in public but really you should pay on time.

TheThingsYouDoForLurve · 05/12/2025 07:38

Paying late by a ‘few days’ is paying late.

She’s not wrong to have pulled you up on it and she purposely did it in front of others as you have been the CF in this situation.

YABU.

Whoevenarethey · 05/12/2025 07:38

Sorry but she relies on that income. It is not fair on her if you don't pay on time. Childminders round here are like gold dust so go ahead and move to nursery, they often require a month upfront.

Original poster
havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

OP posts:
BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 05/12/2025 07:39

I daresay you would be pretty pissed off if your work paid you late, and expected you to remind them about it a few days later.

Whoevenarethey · 05/12/2025 07:40

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

So you have paid late previously? It sounds like you are quite unreliable when it comes to paying.

DarkForces · 05/12/2025 07:40

She's pissed off with you and snapped. You're pissed off with her for calling you out. Would you want to remind your employer to pay you? Would you be fine with your wage being regularly late? I wouldn't and too right I'd comment. Put a reminder in your diary and pay them on time.