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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
Bungle2168 · 05/12/2025 08:03

Yabu, Fagin.

Hit your kick and pay the woman in a timely manner!

arethereanyleftatall · 05/12/2025 08:03

I run a business. There is NO WAY id want you as a client unless I was desperate.

TheatricalLife · 05/12/2025 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Very obviously. Or a reverse 😴

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 05/12/2025 08:03

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Are you for real? You are completely in the wrong, pay her when its due! She shouldn’t be having to chase you.

NotableI · 05/12/2025 08:04

How often does your employer pay you late? Would it bother you if they did?

DuchessDandelion · 05/12/2025 08:04

I'm afraid it's on you to pay on time. Set up an automatic payment if you can't remember.

Your lateness could mean she's unable to pay vital bills and will cause considerable stress.

You've been embarrassed but I'd say it's warranted.

Bobiverse · 05/12/2025 08:05

This has to be a reverse. There is absolutely not way anyone thinks it’s ok to repeatedly pay their childcare bill late, and also expect to get reminders as if they’re doing nothing wrong. You know the due date, it’s ever week, you use the childcare and it is pretty vital to your life and this person cares for your child. You don’t repeatedly pay late, then complain about late fees or suspended service. No way this isn’t a reverse.

MincePudding · 05/12/2025 08:06

Well if late fees haven't worked maybe you'll pay on time now.

You want a professional service, pay for it.

Edenmum2 · 05/12/2025 08:06

She should have spoken to you directly but I’ve worked for someone who regularly paid me late and it’s infuriating. I HATED having to remind them all the time. YOU should know when your employee needs paying, it’s pretty basic.

hmmnotreallysure · 05/12/2025 08:06

Yabu op. Pay her on time!!!
She has bills to pay and relies on you paying for a service she provides. She shouldn't have to remind or chase you, set an alert to pay her. Good on her for calling you out on your crap behaviour.

Fundays12 · 05/12/2025 08:07

She is right. Why are you booking holidays but not paying childcare bills on time? You are totally in the wrong here and should be embarrassed. She relies on clients paying on time to pay her overheads so you need to adhere to the legally binding contract you signed. I think you would be doing her a favour moving your child. At least then she can find a client who does respect her and value her service enough to pay on time.

Swiftie1878 · 05/12/2025 08:07

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

YABVU

Alwaystired23 · 05/12/2025 08:07

Pincey77 · 05/12/2025 07:45

Must be a reverse. No one is this thick and entitled.

I think this may be a wind up. If not set up a standing order then there will be no problem in the future.

MincePudding · 05/12/2025 08:07

And FYI, why should she be on the hook to pay late her own credit fees and have her credit score wrecked because you regularly don't give a fuck about paying.

She also has to nag ypu. You're an adult, just pay your fucking bills on time and get your shit together.

LadyLapsang · 05/12/2025 08:08

How would you feel if your employer paid you late and had to be chased? She shouldn’t have brought it up in front of others but you shouldn’t have placed her in the uncomfortable position of asking to be paid.

Coffeislife · 05/12/2025 08:08

You sound entitled and more concerned with what people think of you, then the fact you are acting wrong.

Mrsknowitall · 05/12/2025 08:08

why on earth should she keep having to send you reminders! She’s giving you a service bloody pay it on time, she’s got bills to pay and family that she probably wants to buy Christmas presents for, she’s shouldn’t have to keep chasing you. I’m a cleaner and have had to chase people for money, do you not realise how degrading it is. Would you pay your hairdresser late or take something from a shop and think that’s ok I’ll pay it when I feel like it? YOU are the unprofessional one not her, and my guessing is that by saying it at the school gates in front of people that she couldn’t care less about losing you or not! Just pay the woman her money on time, no reminders needed you ain’t a child

silkysoft · 05/12/2025 08:08

arethereanyleftatall · 05/12/2025 08:03

I run a business. There is NO WAY id want you as a client unless I was desperate.

Same here.

OP- imagine your employer. Now imagine they didnt pay you on pay day with everyone else and decided to wait several days afterwards and told you "eh- its a few days, no biggie".

How would you feel?

Hotchocolates32 · 05/12/2025 08:09

I’m with the childminder, you know when the bill is due so just pay it. I would be very annoyed in her shoes too. As a one off if you forgot but had a good relationship it would be fine but every month to be late and need chasing - I would be looking at replacing you with another family

JuvenileBigfoot · 05/12/2025 08:09

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Omg you absolutely massive CF!!!!! Can you not hear yourself?
She's added those charges SPECIFICALLY for YOU because YOU constantly pay your bill late and she's sick of it!
You were red in the face because it's embarrassing that a grown woman can't pay her bills on time and now other people know what a CF you are.
Holy shit I'm embarrassed for you!

Keepingthingsinteresting · 05/12/2025 08:09

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

It wasn’t “unearned” it was to compensate for you being late. She is a sole trader and it is massively taking the piss to pay her late to manage your cash flow. A one off I could understand, but doing it regularly is really wrong and makes you unreliable and her life stressful and difficult, what if she can’t pay a bill because you are late. Set up a better system to pay her on time and I won’t happen.

MachineBee · 05/12/2025 08:10

Do you need to remind your payroll department to pay your wages every time? YABU

DoNotDisturb67 · 05/12/2025 08:10

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

put yourself in her shoes, would you like to be paid late by your work „only by few days” ?

Boysnme · 05/12/2025 08:10

🤣🤣🤣 hilarious you think she is the problem!

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 05/12/2025 08:10

She is self employed, she has bills to pay, probably on set days. Imagine if she was looking after say 5 children and she has to chase you all every month, I can suspect it would be very frustrating.

Set up a standing order and pay her on the date you agreed when you hired her.

She should have been more discreet but maybe she has had this for so long she is frustrated. If its got to a point she has charged you late fees and you have paid £100 in late fees, the issue here is you and not her.

I would not be moving my child to another care provider if you are happy with her work otherwise.

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