Page 32 | AIBU to be furious?

SleepyBadger2307 · 06/12/2025 20:15

It doesn't matter whether you think she's struggling or not, that's not relevant to the fact that you have, by your own admittance, paid her late on several occasions and she's clearly got fed up.

She definitely hasn't been professional but if this embarrasses you enough to start paying your childcare fees on time then it's done its job.

The £10 late fee is probably within the T's and C's of the contract. My childcare setting had the same policy.

I know it's not what you want to hear but you're being unreasonable to the point that you almost sound entitled - paying a few days late may not be a big deal to you, and I'm sure those times were genuine error, but it can have a massive knock on effect for people who are self employed.

DadattheBar · 06/12/2025 20:26

My wife cleans people's houses. We dont need the money and she drives a moderately expensive car to the cleans, but she enjoys it and does a superb job which people are happy to pay a premium for. She works in tandem with a lady who does need the money.

One particular client has always paid at least a week late and needs reminders, although if her colleague does the clean, she gets paid straight away by the same person.

So, she's decided to drop a day and needed to lose one of her clients. Guess which client got the boot?

Bluedenimdoglover · 06/12/2025 20:26

This is a situation that you caused. You wouldn't think much of your employer if you had to remind them that they owed you wages.
While she was not very professional in saying that in public, you haven't exactly covered yourself in roses, either. Now you're in a strop and likely to disrupt your child's routine by changing child care. You need to apologise for paying late, and maybe she'll then apologise for saying what she did.

Cazziebo · 06/12/2025 21:11

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

That’s shocking! I’d be mortified if that was me. What a disrespectful way to treat someone who looks after your child.

confusedwithacrawler · 06/12/2025 21:23

YABU do you know how stressful and demanding a job in child care is? It's much harder work than a lot of professions and then not getting paid when expected on top of that? Regarding the follow up post she's had to remind you many times before and even charge late fees. And you still continue to do this? Maybe she went around this the wrong way but it sounds like she hit her breathing point

Blogswife · 06/12/2025 22:36

You are both in the wrong . You for consistently paying late and her for not addressing this with you before she called you out in public.
I’m sure that you wouldn’t be happy if your employer paid you late every month - even If it was “ only a few days late” and you had to remind them every time before you got your money so why do you expect your childminder to be ok with it ?

NoSourDough · 06/12/2025 22:42

My god you are so entitled. Vile.

CactusPeach · 06/12/2025 22:43

That's she's not struggling for money really isn't the point.
Put a reminder in your phone to check the invoice on x date. Presumably the bill is always due on the same date.

Scaredycat259 · 06/12/2025 22:50

OP will have a wake up call when the nursery slaps on a £25 late fee for non payment.

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 06/12/2025 22:57

Blogswife · 06/12/2025 22:36

You are both in the wrong . You for consistently paying late and her for not addressing this with you before she called you out in public.
I’m sure that you wouldn’t be happy if your employer paid you late every month - even If it was “ only a few days late” and you had to remind them every time before you got your money so why do you expect your childminder to be ok with it ?

The childminder clearly has brought this up before. She had to impose a £10 a day late fee and that still hasn't worked.

MissDoubleU · 06/12/2025 23:10

I bet OP is very quick to remind her husband about the additional mental load involved in having to manage him doing his basic share around the house.

”but if you tell me to do the dishes I will.”
”I shouldn’t have to tell you, if you see they need doing be an adult and just do them.”

We all know it is frustrating. OP wouldn’t be happy at all if this woman needed reminded every day what time the child finishes school either.
“why don’t you turn up?”
”well you didn’t tell me what time I have to be there”
”but it’s 3:15 every single day.”
”You still need to text me in the morning to tell me.”

Cakegold · 07/12/2025 05:48

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

And that's why she did it, sorry, you
are unreliable, and Id have terminated the contract.You actually prioritised a break over her payment,and not for the first time clearly, really appalling behaviour. Do her a favour abd get nursery places.

GreyCarpet · 07/12/2025 06:06

You hold the power here, OP.

Pay her on time and then she'll never be able to add a late charge or embarrass you publicly by mentioning it again.

Problem solved.

ThatHonestFox · 07/12/2025 06:41

It is her income. If your job repeatedly paid you late you wouldn’t be happy. If you’re meant to pay her on a Monday. Pay her on a Monday not a Thursday or Friday. She shouldn’t have to remind you.
She shouldn’t have said it in front of other people though.
Just so you know nurseries won’t tolerate you paying late all the time!

Peridoteage · 07/12/2025 06:45

Yabvvu?

You need to pay on time!

IamNotBeingUnreasonable · 07/12/2025 06:49

So you knew payment was due Monday, it's now Thursday and you haven't paid? You are being vv unreasonable.

Ivy888 · 07/12/2025 07:23

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Do the woman a favour and move to a nursery remove your late paying, disrespectful behaviour.

Phelicity · 07/12/2025 14:02

Blogswife · 06/12/2025 22:36

You are both in the wrong . You for consistently paying late and her for not addressing this with you before she called you out in public.
I’m sure that you wouldn’t be happy if your employer paid you late every month - even If it was “ only a few days late” and you had to remind them every time before you got your money so why do you expect your childminder to be ok with it ?

The child-minder obviously has addressed the late payment issue privately with the OP previously, hence the late-payment charges she has imposed. That obviously hasn’t worked, so I think she was justified in speaking out publicly.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 07/12/2025 18:27

So what if she can afford a holiday in Florida. That doesn't excuse your piss. taking

Canihelpyounow · 07/12/2025 20:27

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

is it only a busy time for you?

Why not set up the payment for when it’s due, technology is a wonderful thing!

I’d honestly stop minding for you.

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 08/12/2025 14:04

DadattheBar · 06/12/2025 20:26

My wife cleans people's houses. We dont need the money and she drives a moderately expensive car to the cleans, but she enjoys it and does a superb job which people are happy to pay a premium for. She works in tandem with a lady who does need the money.

One particular client has always paid at least a week late and needs reminders, although if her colleague does the clean, she gets paid straight away by the same person.

So, she's decided to drop a day and needed to lose one of her clients. Guess which client got the boot?

Edited

Me and DH earn nearly 140k between us both drive nice cars etc but last year I did an early morning cleaning job for a few months as it was my dream to upgrade our plane seats to the US from economy plus to business class - which we did with the money I earned from it- was amazing and worth all those early mornings!!!

The way I was treated by the NMW retail staff on the shop floor was a massive eye opener in comparison to how I am treated in my day job - I’m a senior social worker with many years experience. They looked down on me spoke to me like shite and made it awkward at times to do my job even not wanting to move out the way while i cleaned around them lol ( no skin off my nose I just pushed my headphones in and turned the volume up! )

OP looks down on the childminder plain and simple and it’s not on her radar to treat her properly or to even to pay her on time.
The fact she had nice hols and drives a decent car irritates the OP even more so!!

Bobiverse · 08/12/2025 15:12

@havasack
Have you or your children’s father ever had to remind your employer to pay you? How would you feel about never being able to trust your employer to pay you on time, because they repeatedly pay late?

dynamiccactus · 09/12/2025 17:36

The OP's attitude is like the people who are habitually late and can't see how their rude behaviour is inconvenient for their friends and family.

ACatAsleepInYourHat · 09/12/2025 20:17

Looks like the OP has retired with a justifiably well-skelped arse! I doubt she'll be back, her ears (and arse) must have been burning painfully for the last four days. And as much as I've enjoyed the righteous dogpile, I don't think anyone's adding anything constructive at this stage. (Yes, including me, before I get piled-on as well...)

ShizIsWicked · 10/12/2025 10:08

ACatAsleepInYourHat · 09/12/2025 20:17

Looks like the OP has retired with a justifiably well-skelped arse! I doubt she'll be back, her ears (and arse) must have been burning painfully for the last four days. And as much as I've enjoyed the righteous dogpile, I don't think anyone's adding anything constructive at this stage. (Yes, including me, before I get piled-on as well...)

I do wish there was a way to why the 15% think this is ok behaviour. All I can think is that they think the customer is always right! In which case they can walk out of Tesco with their shopping and pay days later, right?