DP putting his foot in it when meeting my friends for first time

[Lurker25]

I moved away from my hometown a few years ago for work, so don’t get back often. However I met up with friends over the weekend and introduced them to my DP. He rather put his foot in it, but swears it was nerves and he meant nothing by it. To not be too graphic, he basically told one of my friends that his ex would ‘allow’ a specific sex act at Christmas and on his Birthday. I wasn’t part of said conversation, but my friend told me and he admitted it. My friend said it was barely relevant to their conversation. Would you give him the benefit of the doubt if he’s otherwise been a great partner? Or do you think it’s a sign?

Girl you're with a fucking degenerate, sorry.

Most men aren't this disgusting.

Why did you make this thread if you're just going to ignore what people say and continue to defend him?

They don’t know his ex clearly. Nor would she have any reason to be aware of the conversation.

I am sure we’ve all spoken about exes at some point in time.

So you're fine if he talks about you in graphic sexual detail to random women, so long as you don't know them?

Also, no we don't all talk about sex acts we've done with exes to people we've just met (or at all), but it's telling that you think this is anywhere in the range of normal behaviour!

I’d be none the wiser. Unless he was naming me and showing a photo of me, I couldn’t care less.

I suppose that tracks with your standards in general! Most people would be absolutely horrified to know that someone they were once intimate with would talk about them like that.

Whether he was nervous or not, he had sex on his mind when talking to your friends who he had only just met. If you stay with him you will be with a man who has immediate sexual attraction to women he barely knows and can't stop himself from blurting out something which shows that.

Be very sure you want to be with this man.

Goodness you are desperate! 🤣

So on Christmas and his birthday she licked his bum? Bin him. Why is he telling your friends that? Probs so you can pick up where she licked off

Well I suppose it took away the lingering taste of the sprouts

He’s a drink driver so he is technically committing a criminal offence

I feel like it has just become a pile on now.

I hope that has made you feel better about yourself and your obviously very fulfilled life x

☠️🤣

Your friend was there in the conversation and from what you've said, she was uncomfortable and felt it was inappropriate. Women know when the vibe is off. It clearly bothered her, and for good reason. Don't be the one with a creepy boyfriend that no one wants around!

It's actually worse now you've said what it is he's been bragging about, OP, but you obviously don't want to hear it. This bloke will cause you nothing but trouble. I hope you don't find out the hard way.

Water finds its own level, I guess.

I wouldn't say he 'put his foot in it'. I'd say he's a creep who got a thrill out of making inappropriate sexual remarks to your friend.

I'm sure your friends despise him and either feel sorry for you or think you are deluded.

Hang on. You came on here to discuss a boyfriend who described sex with his ex to your friend the first time he met her.

The almost unanimous opinion is that he is a sleazy creep who you should bin at the earliest opportunity. Not only have you ignored what everyone, including your friend, is telling you, you have justified his sleaziness as 'nerves' and are now saying that it wouldn't bother you if he discussed your sex life with other women as long as he stays with you! It's not a pile on. We just cannot believe that anyone would set the bar that low. And, yes, you sound shockingly desperate.

I had to look it up and after I stopped being sick I updated my view of him to a gold plated pervert/abuser. Not because he likes it, but because he would ask a girlfriend who clearly doesn't want to do it the rest of the time to give it to him as a gift at Christmas and on his birthday. And because there was any part of his brain that told him that was an appropriate thing to discuss when you've just met your girlfriend's friends for the first time.

I think you need to open your eyes OP, I'm sorry if you thought he was the one.

It's only 23 days till Christmas. It's clearly on his mind...... I mean, we know he

I bet he has an advent calendar. Guess what OP, he's saving the last chocolate surprise for you to lick.

Given some of OPs updates, I am thinking maybe the two of them are actually well matched 😬

You started a thread to ask what people thought.

EVERYONE has told you that you could do better. I think everyone except one has told you they'd be leaving him right now.
But you keep returning to try and make out he's quite a nice chap really.
Therefore, people are replying to your responses.
It's clear you don't get it. So people are trying to tell you that this isn't normal and isn't a person they would want in their lives.
If you weren't defending him, people wouldn't keep posting.

Remember, your friend told you this to let you know how awful he was. She is your friend. It isn't an easy conversation to have with a friend, but it will have been done with the best intentions.

Yet, you haven't listened to her and you haven't listened to the 200 odd posters on here telling you the same.

Excellent use of the word "pile" op.

Your boyfriend told a total stranger he likes his bum hole tongued at Christmas. If thats not given you the ick nothing will, so crack on

It sounds like he was quite relaxed and said the stupid type of thing he might say with mates down the pub after a couple of jars. I expect it’s nothing more than this and hopefully he has a bit more awareness now

He wasn't down the pub with his mates.

What about the fact that he gets women who he knows don't like it and won't offer it any other time to give him a "special" on his birthday and at Christmas?

Can you imagine the kind of emotional manipulation that goes on to get that to happen?