DP putting his foot in it when meeting my friends for first time

[Lurker25]

I moved away from my hometown a few years ago for work, so don’t get back often. However I met up with friends over the weekend and introduced them to my DP. He rather put his foot in it, but swears it was nerves and he meant nothing by it. To not be too graphic, he basically told one of my friends that his ex would ‘allow’ a specific sex act at Christmas and on his Birthday. I wasn’t part of said conversation, but my friend told me and he admitted it. My friend said it was barely relevant to their conversation. Would you give him the benefit of the doubt if he’s otherwise been a great partner? Or do you think it’s a sign?

That's not him putting his foot in it. He's told a woman he doesn't know - a woman who's your friend - about his ex-girlfriend's sexual practices. That's demeaning to every woman involved.

If you stay with him you know what you can expect in the future - absolutely no boundaries, sleazy talk, making your friends uncomfortable and sorry for you, and getting angry with you when you object. You'd have to be crazy or desperate to stay with him.

Wowser. Creepy. Run.

Oh great. A pervy drink driver. What a catch.

He was drinking 3.4% bottled cider, I don’t think driving an issue.

It sounds like this was something she didn't enjoy, but he was willing to do it with someone conceding for a special occasion rather than enthusiastically participating? Red flag.

Drinking and driving - it should be over immediately, no one should get behind the wheel after two pints.

He brags about sex acts to people he's just met and should be trying to make a good impression on. He sounds gross and pathetic in every possible way.

It sounds like this was something she didn't enjoy, but he was willing to do it with someone conceding for a special occasion rather than enthusiastically participating? Red flag.

This. It’s really grim actually.

Yes, I’m not sure I’d see the point of a man whose idea of conversation with the friends of someone he presumably loves is ‘Hello, let me reminisce about my ex who used to let me do anal at Christmas and birthdays’, just so they can all imagine him grunting away in his comedy socks.

The first time he meets your friends and his go to conversation topic is sex with his ex.

I mean, as moves go, it’s an original one. And also really really bizarre.

The man is revolting. What kind of disgusting specimen thinks it's appropriate to talk to new people like that or in fact ever say anything like that to his girlfriend's friends?

How could you ever relax in company with him?

I'd have got rid the second I was told what he'd said.

I’d be really disappointed as the relationship would be done for me

So, unprompted he is talking to the female girlfriend of his new partner about having sex with an ex?

Either he’s hitting on her or he’s got no radar whatsoever on appropriate behaviour and doesn’t understand social norms.

Either way, this isn’t going to go anywhere. Throw him back.

What the fuck did he say?!

Yuck. That is sleazy behaviour.

You’ve posted this before. Why the need to keep repeating this story?

Sounds like he was trying to impress your friends too much! Maybe he was trying for a threesome.

Why have there been so many threads lately about new partners making gross comments to the OP’s friends?

I don’t think you can infer that his ex didn’t enjoy it because they only did it on special occasions. Maybe they both liked to save it as a treat? Maybe she liked it sometimes but not regularly? Maybe she enjoyed that he found it pleasurable? We don’t know or need to know what went on with him and his ex in the bedroom which is precisely why he should’ve kept his mouth shut. It’s wholly inappropriate that he shared this but doesn’t mean it was coercive or sinister.

All types of wrong - who gets nervous and introduces sex with their ex into a conversation let alone a conversation with their current partner's friends that he is meeting for the first time.
If he was nervous at an interview for a new job would he introduce that type of conversation then? no of course he wouldn't because it would be completely inappropriate just as it was with your friends.
if he was applying for a loan at the bank and was nervous whether he is going to get it or not would he introduce that topic of conversation to the bank manager male or female? no he wouldn't because it's not appropriate.
it was disrespectful to his ex, to you and your friend,

So she said at Christmas afternoon she was that full she didn’t want to do anything and he said at Christmas afternoon they had a specific sex act

I can see how he got the but it’s a case of read the room and know your audience

an old close friend who you have banter with on this level yes
someone you’ve never met before NO

Nope. He shown who he is, I’d show him the door. Bin.

Didn't we have this exact same thread a few months ago ?

Either way, I agree with most other replies. this is not a man I'd want to spend anymore time with.

Oh, he drink drives as well as being sexually inappropriate with your friends. Have you blocked him yet?

Try telling the police it’s not an issue / he’s over the limit on a couple of pints.
So he’s a drink driving creepy sleaze - what a prince he sounds

Embarrassing partners aren't talked about enough I feel. They fly under the radar compared to abusive types but they disrupt your life in other ways by making your friends fear visiting you.

Absolutely not! Throw him back!