DP putting his foot in it when meeting my friends for first time

[Lurker25]

I moved away from my hometown a few years ago for work, so don’t get back often. However I met up with friends over the weekend and introduced them to my DP. He rather put his foot in it, but swears it was nerves and he meant nothing by it. To not be too graphic, he basically told one of my friends that his ex would ‘allow’ a specific sex act at Christmas and on his Birthday. I wasn’t part of said conversation, but my friend told me and he admitted it. My friend said it was barely relevant to their conversation. Would you give him the benefit of the doubt if he’s otherwise been a great partner? Or do you think it’s a sign?

Yea, dunno about anyone else, but i always talk about getting rimmed when im nervous 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly this bloke just sounds more scummy with each update.

So your poor friend said she always falls asleep early on Christmas Day and he said he's used to getting rimmed then because that's when his ex would 'allow it'? That's really not an innocent foot-in-mouth mistake that someone blurts out when they're nervous.

Very well said @B1anche

It is sad that you still think there is much to think about @Lurker25. How low is your opinion of yourself that you think this bloke might be good enough for you ?

He’s a good man, respectful job, family values etc. Some people are going on like I am with a criminal which is really dramatic

Shoe-horning chat of a rim job into a conversation with an unsuspecting woman (and also a friend of his girlfriend) is such a shining example of good values, OP. I can see why you think he's such a catch...

What’s a ‘respectful job’? And do his ‘family values’ include telling one of his girlfriend’s friends, the first time he meets her, how his ex used to rim him as an after-dinner Christmas treat? Is this something he would discuss with his family?

I mean, a mature and decent man would be able to respond in a variety of ways:

"yes, I have fond memories of those post-lunch naps"
"we like to ride around and look at all the lights"
"Christmas celebrations can be exhausting; need to rest up for New Year's Eve"
"In my family those who don't cook clean up, so I'm usually stacking dishes in the dishwasher as I'm a dreadful cook, LOL"
"We take the dogs for a good long walk"
"My grandma wouldn't let us nap, so we'd be sure to fall asleep quickly later that night."

I mean, the possibilities for a polite, neutral and adult response are ENDLESS. And yet this clod rushes right in with "Oh really? MY ex used to let me have a rim job on Christmas."
Who the actual fuck has a thought process such as that? A loser, that is who.

Even without the rim job, who the actual fuck talks about their previous (or current) sex life with a stranger at a social event?

Either he's 14 or he's past all hope, frankly.

Ooh…a sleazy drunk driver 🤷‍♀️ what’s not to like?

No, he is NOT a good man. I don't even think he's a man. He's a loutish lad with poor taste, poor manners, no respect for women and zero social graces.

Family values? Have him trot that factoid out in front of your mum, perhaps? Or his mum? Or your father or brother? See how "good" they think he is.

Raise your standards urgently.

So he’s a sleazy drink driver?
You must be desperate…..

Good men with respect do not talk to women they're meeting for the first time about rim jobs. Give me a break.

He's an asshole. Maybe he's hoping to isolate you from your friends by being sexually inappropriate with them but guess what? It will work. I'd distance myself from you if you brought this creepy dude along. Creepy men do not improve your life.

If he even to blame his drinking for being so far out of line, he fucking drove.

Some strange family values there.

I would be concerned for your friend. Was she grossed out by the conversation?

I would find this very creepy and inappropriate, and would dump him immediately. So many levels of ick, your friend must have been appalled.

He is a criminal. He drinks and drives.

Oh no. I'm afraid he's the sort who cant be taken out in polite society op.

He's alright for fun but 'not for keeps' as they say.

I'm really not sure what you were expecting from this thread. Good men do not discuss getting a rim job with a woman they've just met. The fact that you describe it as 'putting his foot in his mouth' speaks volumes. It sounds like your friend has got the measure of him. You need to either raise your standards or accept that you will be justifying his sleazy behaviour time and time again.

I suppose you could take him out wearing a ball gag.

No, just a common run-of-the-mill perv who wants sexual chat with your mates. Do you count yourself lucky or something that this guy is in employment and seems to have ok values other than trying to steer your mates to think of him being rimmed on first meeting them?

Yeah that is weird and would put me off

“Hey meet my boyfriend, the grim rimmer!”

Anyone else dying to know what a 'respectful' job is?

This is such a personal thing to start talking to a stranger about. It feels really invasive somehow to be so graphic with someone unwitting. Imagine how his ex would feel to know that he's telling essentially random women this. That'll be how he speaks about you one day, if he doesn't already.

Senior Rimming Coordinator for the East Midlands?

🤣 Oh I wish they would bring back the laughing reaction!