DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

I’m sure they can’t help farting! No reason at all to cancel Christmas!

i would say they can come but the farting is not to be done in the living room.

Did you feed them stuff they are intolerant to?

I’m like that if I eat any dairy products. Easy solution is that people don’t feed me dairy.

He's already come up with an alternative, and "offered" to take them for a pub lunch.
Accept cheerfully as a positive solution; wait for the back-pedalling.
I suspect that they will be more circumspect about their flatulence in a public setting, as well.

MN can be weirdly prudish about farting. There will be someone along to tell you all about poo particles soon. But I wouldn't be bothered about this, and to take back an invite for Christmas is unkind, I think. You could always keep the invite open but tell them beforehand that you'd prefer any breaking wind to be done in the bathroom.

I didn’t put anything in their mouths. They self served what they wanted and didn’t care for the consequences.

Are they eating the wrong foods if they have such intolerances? It's rather difficult to ban them if they are actual medical conditions.

As the host, you should be aware of their intolerances and alter your menu accordingly.

I couldn't imagine being this uptight, I'd be joining the giggles with the kids and not letting it take up anymore of my brain space.

I mean my mil might say similar but what was on offer was a lasagna and salad and salad is not a meal.

what I mean is have you actually had a conversation with them about what sets off their stomach problems so that this can be avoided?

or just let them go to the pub.

either works.

I’d have been delighted if mil suggested eating out.

Let them come for dinner but put large signs around the house saying “Flatulence Free Zone”, slap a bit of tinsel on them to make the more festive:
Drink several bottles of Prosecco during dinner and proceed to follow them around the house with several cans of air freshener.

It's just wind, you are being a bit silly about it.

Sorry cross posts re intolerances. They are ridiculous then. Maybe find out what they shouldn't have and feed them accordingly.

I suffer with stomach issues, but I don't sit in front of my in-laws farting. I'd go off to the toilet and fart in there. Unfortunately, once a food upsets the stomach, it can cause a lot of gas - it might mean your MIL and SIL spending their visit in the bathroom!! They should at least apologise for farting in front of everyone. My Nan used to get up from her chair and fart all the way to the table - she was deaf, so could only feel it coming out, but thought because she couldn't hear it, no one else could either!!! Yes, we found it hilarious! I don't see that you need to ban them from attending Christmas. Perhaps you could ask what food items make their stomach issues worse, and avoid cooking them?

Have you asked them if there are certain foods they need to avoid?

Nah, sorry but thats rank 🤑

That's disgusting.
Tell your DH to go to the pub as he wants - you'll indeed see the backpedaling.
If he doesn't insist they'll come take yourself to a friend/ your parents.

I don't think you can uninvite them at this stage. Buy them both those charcoal pants and draw a map to the designated farting zone.

They are grown adults - DH simply arranged it by sending a simple message among the lines of ‘roast Sunday, all ok?’ and they jumped at it. Surely then they’d say if they couldn’t have anything!!

Fucking hell, that's revolting and I'm not uptight about people farting in front of their partners. You can't uninvite them but you can tell them to go out of the room to fart at Christmas.

YANBU. I know a lot of people with digestive issues (myself included). We either avoid the things that make us react and/or step out of the room into the bathroom if our insides are misbehaving.

My only concession to this is if you cooked them a lot of food you know they're intolerant to and they felt they had no option to eat it then maybe this was their not-so-subtle way of saying you should be more accommodating in your cooking.

Gosh, I couldn’t cope in such an uptight family. We just make a joke of it and move on.

God this is what I have to look forward to at Christmas to op.
There seems to be two types of people…
Those like my husband’s mum and dad who think it’s perfectly acceptable to fart and burp away in the front room, no fucks given.
Or like me you think it’s gross and can practically imagine the poo particles landed in my homemade trifle.
I HATE it but it’s not enough to not invite them to Christmas.
Just to add my children have not followed there grandparents example, they think it’s gross to.

How about you all go for a nice walk after lunch to get all the wind out of their systems in less enclosed surroundings?! Upon your return, DH, DMIL and DSIL can clear up in the kitchen (allowing them the opportunity to rid themselves of any residual gas) while you relax with the DCs.

DH pulling his weight in the kitchen? That’d be a first 😂I like the idea of a walk though x