Page 26 | DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

Christmasdayissue · 2025-12-01T18:10:45+00:00

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU. Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space. Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’. DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue. I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 19:24

KaleQueen · 06/12/2025 18:33

I wasn’t saying they were the same - I was offering scenarios where you’d more than likely not openly break wind as you’re aware it’s not a particularly pleasant thing to do. Here’s another way of explaining it. Breathing is a normal bodily function which you wouldn’t restrict (obviously) in ANY situation. Farting is also a bodily function but many people DO restrict this in some situations as they would feel
it impolite to openly fart in such a situation, So I’m suggesting people ARE aware of this norm and can hold it in in situations such as funerals as it would be disrespectful. So why not hold it in at someone else’s home at Christmas. Because of lack of either care (doesn’t bother anyone) or lack of respect (I know it’s impolite but I’m doing it anyway). Or the third less common scenario you have literally zero control over your sphincter. muscles. My lovely great grandma would fart every time she walked which she couldn’t help by 90 but she was also exceptionally well mannered so would actually be saying excuse me afterwards. Even in her own home. AND she was Northern 😱😱

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I don't actually think it happened at Christmas though did it?

I thought op was wanting not to invite them for Christmas, which was why that was mentioned.

They may yet employ their formal event level of sphincter control for Christmas, we don't know.

KaleQueen · 06/12/2025 19:32

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 19:24

I don't actually think it happened at Christmas though did it?

I thought op was wanting not to invite them for Christmas, which was why that was mentioned.

They may yet employ their formal event level of sphincter control for Christmas, we don't know.

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Ha. Yes they might. I somehow doubt it though…

BeAzureRaven · 06/12/2025 19:42

Octavia64 · 01/12/2025 18:13

Did you feed them stuff they are intolerant to?

I’m like that if I eat any dairy products. Easy solution is that people don’t feed me dairy.

It's not like they're dogs, for pete's sake. They can decline to eat things that they know won't agree with them.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 06/12/2025 19:57

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 06/12/2025 18:05

One of my relatives has Trimethylaminuria.

What do you suggest we do with him? Exclude him from Christmas?

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That's involuntary. OP's in-laws were deliberately competing to see how disgusting one another could be.

The fact is that even if they manage to control their sphincters at Christmas and behave like civilized adults, deep down they are nasty people. I wouldn't want to be around them.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 06/12/2025 20:00

CheeseIsMyIdol · 06/12/2025 19:57

That's involuntary. OP's in-laws were deliberately competing to see how disgusting one another could be.

The fact is that even if they manage to control their sphincters at Christmas and behave like civilized adults, deep down they are nasty people. I wouldn't want to be around them.

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I’ve never know anyone be able to conjure up farts on demand. They’ve always been completely involuntary for me. How clever you are. What a talent 👏🏼

SuzieQ300 · 06/12/2025 20:46

From personal experience you just have to put up with awful in-laws, it could be worse than just a couple of farting fatties, trust me, I'm actually quite jealous :)

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 20:48

CheeseIsMyIdol · 06/12/2025 19:57

That's involuntary. OP's in-laws were deliberately competing to see how disgusting one another could be.

The fact is that even if they manage to control their sphincters at Christmas and behave like civilized adults, deep down they are nasty people. I wouldn't want to be around them.

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There has been no mention by op of them competing that I can see. You've let your imagination run away with you.

Op did you actually just say to them directly you don't appreciate it because the dc will follow the example?

But truthfully, if I look at your posts in quick succession I think this thread is really about DH.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 06/12/2025 21:07

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 20:48

There has been no mention by op of them competing that I can see. You've let your imagination run away with you.

Op did you actually just say to them directly you don't appreciate it because the dc will follow the example?

But truthfully, if I look at your posts in quick succession I think this thread is really about DH.

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this exchange earlier in the thread:

pp: There's a difference between normal body functioning and doing it for entertainment. The OP makes it sound as though they're lifting up a hip to try and outdo one another.

OP: Yes, this is more or less the ‘vibe’

Marieb19 · 06/12/2025 21:17

I'm at a loss as to why they can hold their wind in a restaurant situation but not in your home? If sounds like a behaviour issue rather than a medical one.

KaleQueen · 06/12/2025 23:14

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 06/12/2025 20:00

I’ve never know anyone be able to conjure up farts on demand. They’ve always been completely involuntary for me. How clever you are. What a talent 👏🏼

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I know people who can do that. And burps. They pull them out like party pieces.

thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 07:29

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 06/12/2025 18:09

I can’t stop thinking about the comparison of Christmas and a funeral 😂😂😂😂

I assume that the comparison was made because most people would definitely be able to and would hold in a fart at a funeral, at an interview or during the two minute Remembrance Day silence meaning that they would also be physically capable of not farting in other social settings but choose not to.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 07:31

thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 07:29

I assume that the comparison was made because most people would definitely be able to and would hold in a fart at a funeral, at an interview or during the two minute Remembrance Day silence meaning that they would also be physically capable of not farting in other social settings but choose not to.

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Yes. Because Christmas should NOT be like a funeral so we should act very differently.

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 07:57

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 07:31

Yes. Because Christmas should NOT be like a funeral so we should act very differently.

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Did anyone say that they should? Obviously you act differently at Christmas but still try to hold in farts and If that's impossible either move elsewhere or apologise if that's not possible. Don't competitively fart with another relative knowlingly upsetting the host.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 08:01

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 07:57

Did anyone say that they should? Obviously you act differently at Christmas but still try to hold in farts and If that's impossible either move elsewhere or apologise if that's not possible. Don't competitively fart with another relative knowlingly upsetting the host.

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It’s a mad comparison 😂😂😂😂
there’s very little I would do on Christmas Day at a funeral.

It’s so funny those of you who think it’s a reasonable comparison. It’s really making me laugh.

“Would you sing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree at a funeral?!?!?!”

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 08:07

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 08:01

It’s a mad comparison 😂😂😂😂
there’s very little I would do on Christmas Day at a funeral.

It’s so funny those of you who think it’s a reasonable comparison. It’s really making me laugh.

“Would you sing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree at a funeral?!?!?!”

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I'm not sure why you aren't getting it? These posters seem to be just using it as an example that if you can manage to 'hold it in' sometimes then you can do so at other times. And as they don't fart in public they do have control and know it's rude. I don't think any posters were actually directly comparing a funeral to Christmas.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 08:11

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 08:07

I'm not sure why you aren't getting it? These posters seem to be just using it as an example that if you can manage to 'hold it in' sometimes then you can do so at other times. And as they don't fart in public they do have control and know it's rude. I don't think any posters were actually directly comparing a funeral to Christmas.

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And you don’t seem to get that Christmas should be informal and relaxed and NOT LIKE A FUNERAL! So if you need to fart, fart.

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 08:21

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 08:11

And you don’t seem to get that Christmas should be informal and relaxed and NOT LIKE A FUNERAL! So if you need to fart, fart.

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No I absolutely get that Christmas should be informal and relaxed which is why I don't need it explained to me. Christmas shouldn't be like a funeral OBVIOUSLY. However, it's unnecessary and rude to constantly do break wind in front of your hosts (or anybody really). So if you need to fart, go somewhere else and do it - because many people find it offensive (the gist of this whole thread).

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/12/2025 08:24

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 08:21

No I absolutely get that Christmas should be informal and relaxed which is why I don't need it explained to me. Christmas shouldn't be like a funeral OBVIOUSLY. However, it's unnecessary and rude to constantly do break wind in front of your hosts (or anybody really). So if you need to fart, go somewhere else and do it - because many people find it offensive (the gist of this whole thread).

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And many people don’t… (64% in fact!) We just accept and love our family. Smells and all.

Merry Christmas. I hope you have lots and lots of laughs 🎅🎄

Cakeandcardio · 07/12/2025 08:59

If they do sit and fart, just bring in an air freshener and spray it in their direction

landlordhell · 07/12/2025 09:23

Watched Motherland Christmas special yesterday to try to feel Christmassy. Julia’s FIL Geoff was farting and calling out to Julia that there was someone at the door. Julia said it was “ British Gas come to sort your bum out Geoff!” 😂

Mothership4two · 07/12/2025 10:14

@Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim

And many people don’t… (64% in fact!) We just accept and love our family. Smells and all.

I think the 64% is addressing the AIBU of uninviting them for Christmas, not necessarily that everyone is merrily farting in front of each other.

We all love each other in my family and have fun together but somehow manage not to fart in each other's presence - even my 86 yo parents.

Merry Christmas to you too

FluentOP · 07/12/2025 18:24

twoshedsjackson · 01/12/2025 18:13

He's already come up with an alternative, and "offered" to take them for a pub lunch.
Accept cheerfully as a positive solution; wait for the back-pedalling.
I suspect that they will be more circumspect about their flatulence in a public setting, as well.

I would absolutely hate it if I was sitting in a pub or restaurant and the people on the next table were farting. It would genuinely put me off my food. Arrange to meet them for a walk in the fresh air and then eat separately.

Americano75 · 07/12/2025 18:29

I still think you should get a super soaker and give them a quick skoosh every time they do it.

Calliopespa · 07/12/2025 18:32

landlordhell · 07/12/2025 09:23

Watched Motherland Christmas special yesterday to try to feel Christmassy. Julia’s FIL Geoff was farting and calling out to Julia that there was someone at the door. Julia said it was “ British Gas come to sort your bum out Geoff!” 😂

Edited

Nobody laugh!!! It's disgusting.

I bet some people have farted during a Remembrance Day silence. I doubt on purpose, but I am sure it has happened.

I've known girls at school who farted on occasions and then actually cried.

platinumanddiamonds · 07/12/2025 18:39

MrsHero · 01/12/2025 19:36

Could you message them 'apologising' for the roast causing them stomach issues (blame DP on not clueing you up beforehand if necessary), and ask whether you can cater differently/provide alternatives on xmas day?

Good option