DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Maybe this is what happened to that Australian woman- so upset at her ILs farting she decided to ensure they never farted again. It would be a memorable Christmas, if nothing else.

Apologies as I voted the wrong way, (I meant to tap YANBU) letting one out when you’re on your own is fine; going to someone’s house and repeatedly letting rip is shockingly bad manners. I wonder if there’s a tactful way of asking them to leave them room or go outside if they feel the urge? I certainly wouldn’t want to breathe their arse fug. Disgusting.

They do sound a bit rank but I think banning them from Christmas is OTT. Just make sure you don’t have sprouts.

Just sit down wind. I’m also disgusted but I ignore it with the elderly members of my own and DH’s family.

When you get older your arsehole gets looser and your guts are shot to shit. Sure your sister in laws young but just prepare yourself for this for your own old age

I agree with you OP it’s disgusting, I think it’s really bad manners and would hate someone disrespecting my home like that .

This

If they're performance farting then that's vile. I'm pretty relaxed but wouldn't find that funny.

I'd be tempted to message them (tongue in cheek) and say....As my roast dinner had an unsavoury effect on both your stomachs, I'd like to plan ahead for Christmas and cook food that won't cause a repeat performance (pardon the pun). Let me know what foods you are able to tolerate without the after effects, and I'll create a non-traditional menu so that the peace of Christmas can be observed.

Maybe a special themed "Lapland with the Reindeer" Christmas Day on your patio.

Get one of those fake life-size reindeer, drape the patio furniture in throws and blankets, wear your parkas and mittens. A fire pit if available. Usher them out there when they arrive and make a big deal out of the festive al fresco meal they can expect, of turkey and plain mash served in camp bowls. "Just like Santa and the elves!" Make sure all sofas and chairs are piled with laundry or otherwise unavailable.

"No, no, no," you'll say in a mischievious tone, wagging your finger playfully. "No sneaking inside! I promised the kids the full North Pole experience. Would you like another blanket?"

Hopefully they'll be gone within 45 minutes and you can move indoors.

Team DC here.
Farting is funny 😁

Okay they have stomach issues but yeah it's extremely rude to just fart away in someone else house.

Of course they feel comfortable around your husband and he feels comfortable around them but you live there too!

I think this is awful and they should take themselves off to fart if it's going to be excessive. Maybe also ask what foods to avoid so they don't have digestive problems.

A bowl of porridge topped by a dollop of yoghurt!

I think the foibles of other people's families are just something we have to deal with at Christmas sometimes. Plenty of people assume they can fart with abandon around their immediate family and personally I'd want my in-laws to feel relaxed in my house rather than have them feeling like they had to be on their best behaviour!

As for 'setting a bad example to your children', it's not like your kids are suddenly going to become more flatulent just because they giggle when their grandma/auntie lets rip.

Better out than in (especially with gastro problems)! I mean, if the issues are bad, then jumping up to leave the room every few minutes would be insane. Just let it all out.

Do you not fart in front of your kids, @Christmasdayissue?

I’m genuinely so surprised T how many people seem to think it’s absolutely fine for two grown adults to sit farting and going all afternoon with not even an ‘excuse me/sorry’ ?! It’s appallingly bad manners and so gross. I’d feel the same as you op.

Is the issue gluten or dairy? Both myself and my 4 year old have digestive issues so do not eat things that will cause inflammation - very simple. Even my 4 year old will say, “I can’t eat that it will give me a sore tummy”. A number of people I know who have issues digesting certain foods use digestive enzymes when eating them on special occasions. I don’t know any grown adults who use digestive issues as an excuse to fart.

If it was me I would say “I am concerned my food made you so ill the last time, particularly with all the articles coming out about the dangers of inflammation to long term health (bowel cancer, arthritis, dementia etc), could you let me know exactly what your intolerances are so I can cook around this or are there some digestive enzymes you could take to help you digest the food.” I honestly would not want to sit around inhaling other people’s airborne poo particles because that is exactly what a fart is!

How did you manage to marry a man; have kids with him and not know the score regarding inlaw musical toot protocols yet?

Just create a No Fart Zone somewhere.

Good grief.

Sometimes you can’t help it and if it’s anything like me, eating can upset me and it isn’t a specific food, even healthy foods. There are food in my case which are less likely but nothing you would serve guests (boring, low fat, no gravy or sauce, low sugar, low gi)

'The joy that farts can bring' is a new one on me. Maybe I have been missing out all these years.

Yes I'm 'weirdly prudish' about people farting in front of me. It's incredibly rude and pretty grim especially if smelly. As they don't do it when out then they know it's rude too. Sorry but you just don't go to someone else's house and repeatedly intentionally break wind unless you are a mannerless twat (or a dog).

I vaguely remember Gaddafi farting through an interview with a British (BBC?) journalist to show his disrespect

@Christmasdayissue This is grim and I would be unable to stay in the same room as them so you have my total sympathy.

Hi OP I’ve had my bowel removed and have problems with excessive wind which smells horrendous but funnily enough I plan eating and make sure I go to the loo or outside to pass wind. I never do it in front of other people! They sound excessively lazy or selfish to me and they are making zero effort to be considerate. I’d text your husband to say you’ve thought about it and you think lunch out is best for everyone.

You’re being ridiculous. Only on MN is farting considered disgusting. Some people can’t help it and if they’re with family why should they have to keep getting up and going to a different room? Bonkers! Your DH is right you are prudish.

Some things are more important than "feeling relaxed."

I'd rather have people feel on edge and keep their gas to themselves, than have them relaxed and flatulating all over my sofa cushions.