DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

What did it say?

Just to add DD and DH are now saying she’ll get laughed at at school because of MY behaviour

You cried in front of your DDs friend because they’d played a prank on you? Oh dear.

What did they write?

Yup. She will. Why on earth would a horror message on a mirror be anything but a funny prank!

Whatever was the message, that it made you cry? Your reaction sounds extreme.

You cried? I’m sorry, OP, I think you overreacted unless your3 going to give us a drip feed about why you became so emotional. Crying in front of your DD’s friend (so you obviously knew it was them that had done it) is OTT. I’d have bollocked them and made them clean up the mess.

Obviously you haven't said what the message was but kindly, if it made you cry it does sound like a bit of an over reaction. Presumably you realised it was them pretty quickly?

Not that there's anything wrong in being sensitive, but it might have been better to focus on grounding yourself and you could have had a word with your daughter later once her friend had gone home.

Kids will be kids

I'm getting the Shining vibes. 'REDRUM'.

OP, you embarrassed your kid.

Seriously? You cried over this?

Kindly, you've embarrassed your daughter.
Surely you understand that.

Gosh, I think you’re being unreasonable here. To have cried in front of your daughter’s friend over a silly prank will have embarrassed her. You should have regulated yourself before speaking with them.
The poor friend must have been very uncomfortable.

As a parent of a 12 year old, I would not be allowing my daughter to stay at your house again.

Yes, you're in the wrong. You hugely overreacted and you're continuing to do so now.

What on earth were you crying about?

What was the message? I'm struggling to understand what made you cry and honestly bo, I wouldn't have gone into my dds room crying when she had a friend over.
Is there more happening than this?

Tbf she probably will.

Your reaction sounds very extreme and I feel sorry for your daughter that you effectively ruined her sleepover with your over reaction.

If you really felt the need to have a chat with her about the prank, why not do it when the friend went home today?

🙄

You cried over a lipstick message on your mirror? Really? I find it hard to believe a fully grown function adult would cry at that. I'd have been embarrassed too if I was your DD!

Yeah youre being a massive baby. It was just a daft kids prank. Why on earth would you be crying about it?

They played a prank. you cried.
Fair enough that's embarrassing 😳

But I would not have my DD scream at me, that I embarrassed her for crying. No 👎
She doesn't get to talk to you that way.
No more sleepovers for a while.

Is something else going on here? As your reaction to the lipstick does sound like an overreaction? 🫤

I’d be annoyed, because it would be a bugger to clean off, but crying sounds V OTT.

It does sound like an overreaction on your part – unless you actually thought that someone had broken in and written the message on the mirror or something like that?! Surely as soon as you saw it you realised that it was your daughter and her friend? I’d have been annoyed about it but would have wiped it off and covered it up in front of them because I do think that your daughter would be embarrassed by extreme displays of annoyance or emotion over something like that. I really don’t understand why you ended up crying, was the message particularly awful or are you generally a very emotional person?

That’s what I thought of too.
And hardly worth crying over. Weird overreaction by OP

Your reaction was over the top at the time and your ongoing issue with this is misplaced.

It was a prank. They thought it was funny. Nothing more.

Move on.

When I was 12, I would have found it hilarious to do this. My mum would have rolled her eyes, cleaned it off and never mentioned it, thus depriving me of my enjoyment of freaking her out.

She will.