DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

So it was REDRUM then? how would that even be scary if you didn’t get the context?

honestly this is total wet lettuce behaviour OP sorry

So what did you think it was?

Why aren't you giving any details? Is it because you know how silly it is?

How was a film forced on you?

You over reacted massively. Crying!? Fucking crying!? How old are you!?

You’ve massively embarrassed yourself and are still behaving embarrassingly by trying to infer things have been ‘forced’ on you.

Apologise to your daughter and get a grip.

oh god. Is DD your only/older/oldest child?

Start toughening up and get used to it. When they do things like this, the best reaction is SCREAM loudly, then at some other point prank them back. That is it.

You could, when she is alone and you are both calm tell her you don't appreciate pranks like that.

And yes. She will have the piss ripped out of her unmercifully. Maybe she won't ever ask for a sleepover again.

Yeah you were VU to go in to their room crying. That is embarrassing!

That's definitely not how that works.

The book is so much scarier!

I'm quite sensitive to jump scares, and my DCs find it hilarious that I will literally jump in my seat at the scary bits in a film - and scary for me Jurassic Park type films, I don't go scarier.

I think your DD and DH are being nasty to you. If your daughter's friend is close enough to have a sleep over she shouldn't be gossiping about you in svhool, if she does tease your DD about it in front of her friends, your DD can agree that you're very easy to scare, and that it makes it really easy to play pranks on you. It's not shameful!

I hope your DD and friend wiped it off and didn't leave it to you to do.

Then why were you scared??

If you had no idea what it was then why would the word redrum bring you to tears.??

This can’t be real

I'll go against the grain and say if you're old enough to pull a prank on someone, you should be old enough to know it can go wrong. It was designed to scare, and it did. Though it 'shouldn't' according to many, doesn't mean it didn't in the moment for the OP. She might have been tired, emotional, whatever.

Big hugs OP. I actually think her first thought should have been saying sorry for scaring you.

Are you OPs lipstick?

If this is real, which I doubt, how did it upset her? She says she's never seen The Shining so why would her reaction, upon entering the bathroom and seeing REDRUM written in lipstick on the mirror., be to cry? Surely she would feel confused and possibly irritated at having to clean it off, but why would she jump to any conclusion other than this was kids messing about?

Wet lettuce is exactly the phrase.

tbh, thinking about it, the best reaction is no reaction.

Then, in passing, "don't forget to clean the bathroom mirror" and just carry on as though nothing happened.

Exactly. I don't believe this.

But you knew it was them being silly which is why you confronted them. You didn't think for a second it was serious so what were you sobbing about?

I’m guessing it was “Redrum”? Could have been “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, though that seems less likely.

Do you not think crying was an overreaction?

Good grief OP.... I hope for your sake there's never any real drama in your life... if you were my mum id have nicknamed you Tiny Tears

I’m struggling to work out how something that was clearly a prank caused such a reaction that you cried in front of your DD and her friend. Also you actively sought them out to confront them whilst you were crying?!
Im quite sensitive and jump easily, but this is a massive overreaction!

i can understand you being scared (i think i would have been) but why did you go into the girls’ room and start crying at them when you obviously knew it was them by that point?

I’d have spoken to your daughter on her own once her friend had left. Now you've involved the friend who is bound to share your behaviour with her parents who may not like it.

Best to self-regulate before getting third parties involved - especially other people’s children

I don’t understand why you found it so upsetting when you didn’t even know what it meant.

It wasn’t red rum, it was spelt the other way in awful writing. When I first say it my immediate reaction was terror until I realised the kids must have done it.

Is crying at the bathroom mirror the new screaming in the Sistine Chapel? 😂

Well, I’ve never seen The Shining, or indeed any other film that is even mildly frightening (or violent, because I am a complete wuss), but if a lipstick message appeared on my bathroom mirror when my 12 year old was having a friend on a sleepover, I’m pretty sure I’d guess who put it there immediately and probably play along with things by screaming.

(Before saying ‘You’d better not have used my favourite no-longer-manufactured’ one.)