DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

Oh lord 😂😂😂😂

If this made you cry then heaven help you if something really difficult or troubling happens to you. I would have made them clean it off and that would have been the end of it, kids do daft things, it is part of being young.

It would, I agree. But if the OP hadn't prannied around like a fool, it wouldn't happen. I hope it doesn't.

That might well be the case.

Did you honestly think that a ghost had written a message on your mirror?

She's an adult not a child but she conducted herself like a child in this instance.
She didn't "teach" the two girls a lesson - she embarrassed her own daughter in front of her friend. I wouldn't bring a friend home ever again if my mother behaved in such a childish manner.

Honestly, this is so pathetic I can't believe it's true. You are a adult, grow up. You acted like a drama queen. Your husband and daughter are embarrased by your silly behaviour.
You need to apologise to your daughter for making a show of yourself and hope she does not get teased. In fact I hope this is all made up.

Oh wow op. You’ve really humiliated your child. Why did you do it? You’ve not answered that.

Crying at the word murder is one thing (weird but you do you). Going in to see your daughter’s friend whilst crying, is frankly, fucking odd.

You embarrassed bot just yourself but your daughter in front of her friend!!! Jesus just grow up!!!

You’ve described it as “a shock”, your first reaction was “terror”, you went in to talk to your daughter and her friend while still crying, and you’re still “feeling so upset today”…all because some 12 year olds attempted a prank by writing a word from an old, very well-known, horror film on a mirror. And now you’re here looking for support, with a thread title stating that these 12 year olds “hurt” you, because your “DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank” and suggested you “need to lighten up.”

You DO need to lighten up. The friend apologised for the mess rather than for scaring you…because that would be a normal reason for you to be upset. Still being ‘terrified’ once you’d figured out who’d done it is bizarre. You knew it was your daughter and her friend - that’s why you went in to speak to them - and you should have calmed yourself down before you did that. Speaking as a huge arachnophobe whose children planted a fake spider in her bed: your daughter was trying be funny, she wasn’t trying to hurt you, and you’ve embarrassed her. You should probably apologise for overreacting like this.

Tough if it embarasses the pranksters, you reap what you sow...good lesson

they're only deeply embarrassed to have someone like the OP in the family, it's not a great lesson to learn to be ashamed of your mother and to keep all your friends away in case your mum flips and burst into tears for no reason.

The husband is adult enough to have a life out of the house, the kid is 12 yo! Bit young to have to hide your embarrassing mother.

I agree with this. Noone can help their initial reaction (and i think i might have screamed or got a fright too as im quite nervy). However, making the conscious choice to confront your DD and her friend crying is manipulative and histrionic. Cry to your DH instead - he’s an adult. This is like a throw-back to toxic parenting in the 80’s/90’s where emotionally immature parents liked to make children feel responsible for their lack of self-regulation.

If stressed a physical reaction can be to cry. Adrenaline can soar and the then physical response can be crying. For some people this is what can and does happen.
For whatever reason known only to the OP, horror and anything similar causes her stress. A great deal.
I think she has got the message that many on here think her OTT, a liar or ridiculous.
I would want to know whose suggestion it was. And if not her daughter why her daughter went along with it. If her daughter's idea there is another world of things to think about.

Good grief. Your poor daughter.

Thanks for the stalking …they are flourishing wonderful adults…married and set up in life ..they were never into cruel horror inspired pranks

Have you over reacted to anything before? Is it fairly normal for you to do that? Maybe this was the last straw for your daughter and your husband, and that’s why he’s not backing you up? He’s probably embarrassed too.

a word in lipstick on a mirror. At worst, people would roll their eyes, but "cruel horror inspired"? seriously? 😂😂

How do you cope with life in general? Is day to day living and mundane situations difficult for you? Would you scream if you visited the Sistine Chapel?

She probably will. Why would you go to her crying?

Op, have you ever been to the Sistine Chapel?

oh now it all makes sense 😂😂

Really? Ok if you say so.

The only lesson the child will learn is to not have friends over in case her mother starts crying for whatever reason due to some perceived hurt.

I do really wonder if the OP is the same woman who had to be helped home by two men because she fell over. She called her 12-year-old all sorts. This post has the same energy.

Yes, I can imagine it only too well. Why do you think they did it? I think they probably got the reaction they hoped for, so I don’t know why they should be upset or embarrassed.

The whole thing is a storm in a teacup, but if it was upsetting for two twelve year old girls to see the OP crying in response to their prank, well good…. perhaps they’ll think twice next time.

The kids didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings though.

They didn't really though. Who would expect someone to be genuinely scared by someone writing in lipstick on a mirror? That's not terrifying - it's just a flim trope. I don't like pranks, because they can be nasty, but that was harmless.

(Except for the mess, which I'd have made them clear up. But it's not actually frightening, and wasn't meant to be.)