DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

OP, you have posted in AIBU, and the concensus is, yes. Absolutely yes.

But you are still pushing back.

Are you really so highly strung, sensitive and humorless that you actually believe that crying in front of DD friend wasn't a batshit and embarrassing response?

You need to apologise to your DD - make something up if you want - feeling under the weather/over reacted because you'd had a busy day/tears were just exhaustion/ANYTHING other than you cried because you were afraid and filled with horror.

And then brace yourself, because kindly, you are doing to need to toughen up.

I was thinking more 'snapped and farted' myself 😅

Even if you did cry. Why didn't you compose yourself before going to speak to your DD and her friend?

I think it's OTT to be crying. But to each their own. It is way OTT going in there crying about it to two 12 year olds. You could have composed yourself for the sake of your DD. And spoken to her about it once the sleepover was done.

So I do think you are in the wrong. No matter what the message said. Compose yourself, speak to your OH. Then speak to DD. Your DD will be made fun of at school, kids are dicks and she has a mum who cries over some writing on a mirror that two young teenagers wrote as a prank.

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

Your crying would have been extremely embarrassing. Your poor kid!

Have you been drinking?

Yes YWBU it was quite obvious that this was a prank. Even if you were pissed off the appropriate reaction was a mild bollocking and not tears.

You’re the adult here :/

So they wrote Murder across the mirror in lipstick? And you cried? That's utterly ridiculous.

I'd give them short shrift about drawing on my bloody mirror and make them clean it off but honestly it's just a prank. They need to grow up a bit but crying over that, as an adult, is a bit pathetic. Don't be so silly.

They "hurt" you? Honestly, get a grip.

Oh my god 🤣

Yeah mate if you're not on the wind up this is really fucking embarrassing.

You cried? Really?

Yea right. As if you started crying.

Yeah, wtf is the thread title about. How were you 'hurt'? As I said before, batshit

I think you need some therapy to manage your hysteria and anxiety.

I've not seen The Shining. REDRUM would make me think of Red Rum, the horse, though I now realise it's murder backwards. Every day's a school day.

You thought someone was in the house and wrote murder on your bathroom mirror?

Seriously, this was your first reaction when you had kids in the house? I don’t think many people would have jumped to intruder/ haunting quite so quickly…

Are you so sensitive you can’t write the word murder on an online forum?

I dont have kids, but if I saw that on my mirror I’d be slightly taken aback but would first assume it was DH playing a joke on me even though it would be out of character. If I then ruled that out I’d be getting out of the house and ringing the police, not crying to my children. And I am a bit of a crier.

So yes - you’ve massively overreacted in an entirely embarrassing way.

Oh come off it. You see lipstick on a mirror and instead of thinking it's a family member that did it, you think someone you can't see or hear has broken into your house but done nothing but write on a mirror?

Were you high?

That was my first thought 🤣 I have never seen the shining - I hate horror. But if I saw a message on my bathroom mirror (especially if one of my dc was having a sleepover) I would yell out oi which one of you knobs did that! Or I would pretend to be scared to give the dc the impression they had got me

Stop trying to justify your complete over reaction....

Even If you were upset why not call your DD downstairs or in another room and ask her privately. It’s very odd you cried in front of her friend and I imagine very uncomfortable for her.

Yeah sorry op, I’m team husband and daughter. This sort of extreme over reaction, then going into your daughter’s room when her friend was there so they could see your hysteria is completely unacceptable. I mean it’s bad if yoh reacted like this then composed yourself,before going in, but you didn’t. You went in there crying, which means you’re either out of control or attention seeking.

if you were my husband I’d be furious with you.

The only possible excuse for the reaction is being out of your tree. In which case she shouldn't have been looking after two 12 year olds.

But then you realised there wasn't and it was your daughter and her friend

Can you not see why for a 12 year old, their mum coming in crying over what you and your friend thought was a funny prank is so embarrassing?

There was no need to do that to her and spoil her sleepover

You could have had a chat today about why pranks can backfire and be cruel but your actions were way worse than hers

Your daughter meant no harm. You surely knew your actions are mortifying for a teenager?