DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

No you didn't. You've had your fun pretending to be an overly-sensitive delicate flower who can't even see the word murder without bursting into tears. Give it up. There is no way this is true.

Is your Dd usually so unpleasant and badly behaved ?
I would be realky annoyed at her behaviour and I would be having words with my H about undermining me infront of your dd and her friend.
It doesn't sound as thoug either your Dd or your H respects you.

For someone that doesn't like horror, you must have seen an awful lot of horror movies. In real life, killers don't hide in houses, but leave scary clues! Kids playing pranks happens all the time though.

Total over reaction, I think you have embarrassed yourself and daughter.

Who broke in and wrote murder in lipstick on the bathroom mirror?? You seriously thought that?

i assume there is a back story with higher mental health, but even with this you should know not to involve your child in your issues,

Why couldn't you just have put:

"DD and her friend wrote MURDER on my mirror in lipstick"

Why all this pussyfooting around what actually happened?

😂

If she writes 'murder' her phone will explode.

You are being utterly strange! The fact you can't even write the word murder on this thread suggests you have mental health issues. Most normal people would have have raised an eyebrow at most and told them to clean it off!

I'm sorry OP, you're clearly a sensitive soul and you're getting a lot of grief on here. I think it's totally fine for kids to see that adults have emotions, but silly writing on a mirror does sound like a very odd thing to cry about in front of your DD's friend.

I think it's worth trying really hard not to embarrass kids in front of their friends during the teenage years, so I agree with PPs that it would help if you toughen up a bit to get through the next few years of parenting.

Really?

It was a prank, that they have done to an adult before, who found it funny.

They are 12. Ok, it backfired but no need to storm in crying over it...thats so embarrassing for a 12 year old.

A better reaction would he to have a chat with dd today,im private over pranks backfiring and can be seen as cruel

And dh doesn't need to always stick up for his wife if he thinks she is in the wrong. Thats not undermining , its having a different opinion

So you saw "MURDER" written badly in lipstick on the bathroom mirror (probably in the style of a child?) and your first thought was an intruder had slipped in and written it? Riight? So crying in fear you went into your 12 yo's bedroom? Presumably you went to protect them from the intruder? Mmm

This can't be real surely? No-one CRIES in terror because someone wrote "murder" in wobbly writing with lipstick on a mirror!! 😂

And then, rather than pausing and considering a good course of action, like talking to your daughter quietly later on, alone, you decided to embarrassed her.

I don't know what's worse tbh, embarrassing her like that or the histrionics.

If I thought there was an intruder, I'd have run straight into the girls so don't be so dramatic. It took you all of two seconds to realise nit was a childish prank and yet you still cried to some teenagers.

"Never seen an adult show emotion before" sounds like you emote far too often. Manipulation or genuinely just hysterical?

And running to MN, after running to her DH, still in search of someone who’ll say she was in the right!
Gordon Bennett, you do wonder sometimes.

If it was your lipstick and cost more than £10 I think a medium stern bollocking was warranted. If it was a discontinued lipstick given to you by a now deceased friend as it symbolised your platonic passion, then crying would be in order. Otherwise, obviously YABU.

Yep. Not saying its right but she probably will

There was a racehorse called 'Potoooooooo', pronounced 'Potato'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potoooooooo

Mmm.. yes you have over reacted, yes your DH needs to have your back..

And for your child, I'd have a big chat about playing pranks and how you may not get the outcome you hoped for, you might genuinely upset someone, its not a joke if the other person doesn't find it funny - she can consider being embarrassed about her Mum in front of her friend and potentially kids at school the consequences of her actions!

Your reaction seems very OTT. Are you dealing with some past trauma that made react in such a strong way? I'm sure I'd jump out of my skin but I think I'd be able to laugh about it too.

I'm sure the 12 year old friend will get over it 🤣 Yes OP crying was a bit OTT, but if I was friends mum and my daughter went round to someone else house who had been kind enough to invite her and she did something like that I would asking her to apologise to directly to OP or she wouldn't be going to another sleepover at anyone's as I would think she wasn't mature enough to know how to behave as a guest.

Pranks are only funny if everyone involved finds them funny.

Well, of course the writing was ‘awful’. My 13 year old’s homework looks like epileptic spiders have attacked his copies. I can only imagine what 12 year olds writing on a mirror in lipstick would look like.

You sound like a big baby.

I’m not a fan of horror much, although The Shining is a masterpiece. The book not the film.
I think posters are having trouble understanding your thought process op. Someone has broken in, found a lipstick, written murder in creepy writing, and left. Or kids on a sleepover playing a prank? Mmm which one would be more likely?
If you were scared, then realised compose yourself before crying in front of dd and her friend surely.

What on earth?!? 🤣