Boyfriend says I have fine hair … AIBU to be hurt?

[MorrisHer]

Been dating a man for about four months now and yesterday he was looking at my hair when we we out walking . I thought he was admiring it but I was clearly wrong as in the next breath he says something like “ Gosh your hair is so fine, you can see your scalp through it” then proceeded to tell me he went out with a woman with thick lush curly black hair right down to her backside.
My hair is naturally very fine but I’ve never really had any negative comments before and why would it be an issue anyway? We are more than just a head of hair which can be for the most part, dictated by genetics anyway …
it’s really hurt me probably more than it should and it keeps playing on my mind .. AIBU to let it bother me??
I’m also menopausal and having a tough time physically and emotionally and my hair is even thinner than usual as a result :(

He sounds like a dick, you can do far better than a man with other women constantly on his mind

He thinks you won't stay with him if you've got good self esteem. He's right.

Who said romance was dead?

...presumably because OP isnt a shallow puddle like him

Exactly. Why put up with this and not say anything?

I don't think the comment about the redhead would bother me but we're all different.

If this guy is thoughtless or deliberately hurtful he should be challenged.

You're quite sensitive to perceived criticisms. He has no filter. I'm not sure that those two traits make a good combination.

He's negging you.

Get out now, before he destroys your self esteem and you end up feeling so unworthy that you are grateful for being with this piece of shit.

Just from your few posts, it's obvious that the journey is already underway. Open your eyes and look at what is happening.

Get out now.

I disagree. It's not overly sensitive to not want someone you are newly dating to compare you unfavourably to their ex.

Thats shitty behaviour

is he autistic, and not being deliberately unthinking, but just stating an observed fact without judgement or hidden meaning?

Perceived criticisms? Telling a new date she's nearly bald and then banging on about his previous fuck's gorgeously beautiful hair. You must have a pretty low bar.

Dump the cunt

No he's a tit.

Doesn’t mean people have to put up with it. It is entirely possible for neurodivergent people to learn how to engage a filter

I’m also menopausal and having a tough time physically and emotionally and my hair is even thinner than usual as a result

Are you on hrt, @MorrisHer ? Your BF is a bit of an arse.

I think this would have been different if you had mentioned it and he gently agreed. If you know your hair hair is fine at the moment there is no point in disagreeing. I say this as someone who's hair can get really fine now. For me the big red flag is that he felt the need to randomly mention it for no reason to then make an unfavourable comparison.

Ditch the loser pronto you're worth more 💐.

I have a friend who has fine hair and it’s thinning with the menopause. She’s very sensitive about it and would be extremely upset if someone commented on it.

He is either clueless or was being nasty.

No, he is a manipulative cunt.

Very obvious it's negging.

I agree, but he should probably have just shut up and said nothing.

If you apply the THINK acronym, he fails on Inspiring, Necessary and Kind.

What a twat. Let him fuck off with Rapunzel if he wants to.

Why say it, then? OP, get rid.

OK he's being outrageously rude comparing you to women he finds more attractive. Just end it.

I wouldn’t want to be mates with a man like this let alone be intimate with him

Exactly. Me neither.

Absolutely.

He'd be in the bin.

Maybe. Or alternatively, people could learn to be less sensitive to simple straightforward statements of fact said without any intention of being rude?