To be honest it would be a struggle without his money
Struggles can be worth it. And it may start out a struggle because you'll be used to having XX to spend, but often we find that we actually only need YY. Life may become less 'luxurious' but that doesn't mean it isn't actually better or happier.
He often gloats in telling me how his work mates often pay good money to the mothers of their children but then the women get "greedy" take the fathers to court and actually end up with less.
Scare tactic. After all, why would a woman take a man to court if he was paying the agreed upon amount regularly and without using that amount as 'leverage' to get something they want. Besides, often what a man thinks of as 'good money' isn't actually very 'good' at all!
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but if someone ends up with less it's usually because the man wasn't paying the agreed upon amount on a regular basis or the woman didn't do her research using the CMS calculator (or they didn't have a very good solicitor).
He says some men are paying £8 a week, I don't know if this is true but it does scare me as I can see him potentially doing this to me.
I think that amount is pretty much for someone who is on benefits or who is self employed and 'fiddles their books' to lie about their earnings. And yes, I can see him being a total shit. Which is why you need to sit down and 'do your finances'. Try to figure a budget that doesn't include anything from him. Cut everything you can to get down to just necessities. That doesn't mean you'll end up living on that, just that you'll know what the 'worst case scenario' is.
He says he will be gone by Monday, thanks goodness.
Is he there now or still at his mum's? If the latter, change the locks or the lock barrels.
He is adamant he will be coming here for his Xmas Day dinner, I will probably just end up going to my parents to be honest.
Going to your parents will probably be the easiest in case he decides to show up. Can you spend the night there?
But say NOTHING about Xmas dinner! He can think what he likes. The reality will be quite different, won't it? Remember that you do not have to give him entry into YOUR home. Again, change the locks the minute he's gone, call an emergency locksmith if you have to, it will be money well spent. Or if you or someone you know is 'DIY inclined' there are plenty of YouTube videos out there showing how to change lock barrels. Much cheaper. And FWIW it may be a good idea to install chains on your door(s). Or better yet, get a Ring doorbell.
Don't even bother to try to get the key back, let him think he'll be able to walk in and out as he chooses. He's arrogant and thinks 'what I want is the law', but we know different, don't we?
I know it sounds bad and awful (I have suffered years of constant disrespect and abuse from him) but I wouldn't even care if he passed away tomorrow.
It doesn't. It sounds like someone who's simply reached the end of their tether and just wants it to stop.
And I get what you say about what 'family' is. We've always welcomed anyone as family. And at Xmas, that 'family' includes anyone and everyone who shows up!
You'll get through this and you'll be fine once you're out the other side. For now, just grit your teeth. As Churchill said "When you're going through hell, just keep going!".