To want the pointless exchange of presents to stop

[UneasyMe]

Not for kids. For adults. The shopping ruins the otherwise lovely run-up to Christmas day every single year. I’ve tried to stop it a few times but my family resists. WHY? None of us needs any more stuff! We just need time, and peace.

I'm the ultimate Christmas Grinch. Mutual decision re no gifts for siblings/their OHs. All delighted. I have no kids and am single so only for Niblings now, there are just 5 of them and it's a Revolut transfer. Friends the same, all relieved and delighted. Us two at home don't buy gifts for each other, either for Birthdays or Christmas (don't need gifts, have all I need tks) but we do go away instead and spend that way.

Do I win the prize? 😊

We have stopped it. One sibling is struggling financially so for Christmas we have clubbed together to buy a desperately needed household appliance. Nobody else is doing presents.

For years and years, I have wondered why people flock to the shops to buy shit nobody wants or needs at Christmas.

Start giving a nice card with a custom printed "certificate" inside telling the recipient that their gift is £100 has been donated to the local animal shelter (or other good cause....bonus points if it's a cause that's dear to recipients' heart) and keep doing this.
Eventually they'll get the message that you're not going to give them any more STUFF and they'll stop too. In the meanwhile, the "shopping" is easy (donation) and all the wasted money goes to a good cause!!

I completely agree. its absolutely ridiculous

BUT I do think there is a flaw in the no adult presents - I dont think it is good for children! They should be learning to give as well - not just get!

My daughter really loves choosing presents and I just try to encourage the whole idea that it's not about what you spend but putting some thought into picking something nice, buying it in an independent local shop not at amazon - so at least some good can come of it!

the absolute worst is tat from amazon

If you are going to buy, be supportive of your local shops

A few years ago I found the bag containing all the gifts that DH, our adult kids and I had received from his extended family hanging under a pile of coats in the porch in October. I'd obviously hung it up when we'd got back from visiting them and over the course of the year more and more things had been hung over it. None of the gifts had been used and obviously nobody had missed them. I felt a bit guilty that people had spent money on us and we'd not even taken the gifts out of the bag but it gave me the final push to say "let's just stop this". It caused a bit of a furore in some quarters but eventually everyone agreed. There are still a few young children in the family and I buy something for them, but otherwise, no. We still have an enjoyable get together, in fact I'd go so far as to say it is better without the ritual exchange of pointless gifts that everyone has to pretend to enjoy. It's better for everyone's finances, better for the environment and reduces hassle so was worth the small amount of indignation I provoked by saying I wasn't playing any more!

Yanbu. We only buy for kids in our family. And my teens only want money which is easy.

I listen to colleagues talking about christmas shopping for parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc and it blows my mind.

@AgeingDoc did you just donate the gifts?

I buy vouchers for adventure activities, ticketmaster gift cards, gift cards for the adults in my family. Kids get presents.

Yes - apart from the mouldy mince pies!

We’ve moved to Secret Santa- it’s wonderful!

We just have a secret Santa for the adults and buy for grandchildren, so much less stress and waste.

I might be an outlier but I enjoy buying and exchanging presents. I like that someone has thought about what I might like and made the effort to buy me something (whatever it is) and I like choosing , buying and wrapping presents.

I really like this. My bil used to buy crazy things-one year it was a 3ft high plant pot full of soil and spring bulbs, which he left at my pil’s house 3 hours away and we then had to haul back home in the boot, it was mad.

oh I think that’s a lovely gift! I’d be so thrilled if someone gave me that for Christmas!

I loved it, but getting it in the car was a trauma, I’d rather have had the bulbs sent to me! Took 3 of us.

Another time, he gave us wine glasses that fit an entire bottle. I mean, I get that you need to let wine breathe but that was bonkers!

that has given me an idea

i was thinking of a plant anyway after the criticism earlier

So you're just getting a bunch of garbage quality tat that's going to end up in a landfill because Xmas is just a useless holiday that celebrates excessive consumerism? Got it.

Yanbu - we knocked it on the head when we got a list from sil which included gift requests from the new partner of our niece, who we’d met once. He was 25.
they split up about 3 months later (unrelated)

it is lovely this year to have a simplified task list