I’m coming to terms with the fact I’m really very ugly

[AutumnLeavesandKnittedJumpers]

And I don’t know what I can do about it

I have very fine hair. It’s like baby hair. It’s nothing health wise (I’m not losing it), there’s a lot of hair on my head but each strand is just so fine. I can’t style it or do anything with it. I have to get extensions to feel comfortable wearing it down. I take all the supplements and use all the serums but it doesn’t change a thing.

My teeth are crooked but I can’t afford braces. I didn’t qualify for braces on the NHS as a child and my parents wouldn’t pay for them because they thought my teeth “added character”. Now whenever I smile it looks like I’m missing a tooth at the front. I don’t smile with my mouth open because it just looks awful.

im fat, I’ve lost nearly 150 from my heaviest but I’m still a size 16-18. Nothing looks good on me and I want to hide my body all the time. I look the exact same as I did 150lbs ago.

I could do with a nose job, my nose is crooked and big, but I can’t afford it.

sometimes I just feel like giving up, I’m 26, I’ve never had a romantic relationship because nobody has ever found me attractive. I’ve tried all the dating apps but whenever I suggest meeting up with a guy he turns round and says no because he’s not feeling it. I try to meet people in person but nobody is even interested in talking to me.

it just feels like it’s been such a long time on my own already, the thought of doing another 50 years on my own just fills me with dread. I just want to cry when I think of my future because I feel like I’ll never meet anyone because I’m just genuinely ugly.

OP you sound like a lovely person and although you believe yourself to be unattractive, I suspect you're ordinary looking, like a lot of us! Your weight loss so far is fantastic, your health will be better for it and I really should follow your example. I'm 52, so around twice your age and I remember feeling ugly in comparison to friends / peers.

In my teens and 20s I desperately wanted a nose job because I was obsessed with having a huge nose. I used to avoid sitting next to people or being in situations where I might be seen in profile. It had a disproportionately large effect on my life. It turns out I had a form of body dysmorphia, where my impression of myself didn't match the reality. Therapy helped so much and I can now see that my nose is in fact very ordinary. Investing in your mental health is the best thing you can do, along with being around people who help you to feel good about being you. Others have made helpful suggestions about how you might meet and connect with others and I hope you're able to do some of those things. I sincerely wish you the very best x

And WTF are 'vaneers'? Maybe if people concentrated on more important matters, they might be happier.

Can you point me to the examples of OP being a "lovely person"?

If she follows your advice and gets help with her mental health there is no reason why she can't become one.

I see loads of people with worse prospects than me and think how the heck do they have a partner and I don't? It really is all about your mental health though. I always thought it would just happen for me later in life but I actually don't have any chance because I now have incurable cancer. I've come to terms with it.

I'd strongly recommend therapy and working on loving yourself because you will never find someone until you learn to do that. Life is precious. Don't waste it by hating yourself.

Fuck me- that’s your answer to that post?

I think I’m seeing why you’re single, and it has nothing to do with how you look.

I have always really liked a smile with a gap. Your mum thought you were perfect. I think she may have been wise, natural imperfections are making a comeback!

I've been thinking about this thread over the last few days, thinking it's a pity when these are stuck in AIBU, where the thread becomes so unmanageably large that I suspect the OPs never even read most of the replies. I wonder, by comparison, what would have happened if this were posted instead as a mental health subject.
But even though I figure it's likely mine wasn't read, I wanted to add that, maybe above all, OP, even if you feel it's hopeless, make sure you hold only to that very commendable weight loss. Don't backslide. Don't give up and let the weight accumulate again. That was a great accomplishment. It can be your new starting point.

I've read your post. I think I've read most of the posts - so much kindness and wisdom here. I'm not sure if the OP just thinks we don't "get it" (spoiler, we do) or she is feeling a bit truculent because she's been called out for not responding nicely, but there is some very valuable advice on this thread.

If I can just me-rail for a minute (that is the right expression, isn't it?), I feel terribly unattractive, particularly since menopause. My hair is thinning, my face is starting to resemble a fat Great Dane, and my skin is really fucked. Fortunately where I live it's easy to get a dermatologist appointment.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. Maybe just to say we all have times in our life when the outside of us looks awful, or we perceive it that way. But the outside of us is only part of us. Ultimately, would we rather be remembered as kind and funny and generous, or pretty? For me, definitely the former.