I got all dressed up and DH called me Mr Bean. AIBU to be upset !?

[Christmaspuddingpinky]

I work in a role that usually requires quite casual dress, but on certain occasions I’m required to attend formal meetings.
Today I woke up super early, before the children, washed and blow-dried my hair, put on a full face of makeup, and wore a dress. I actually felt really good for a change.

I went downstairs and was greeted by my DH, who said, “You look like Mr Bean.”
I replied, “I feel really nice today—why would you say that?”
He answered, “You just look like Mr Bean when he’s all dressed up in his jacket and suit. I’m only joking, for goodness’ sake.”

I can’t understand why he couldn’t simply say that I looked nice. I’m not a supermodel, but I made an effort and felt good. I’ve worked hard to shed weight after the babies and slowly feel good again . His comment felt unkind to me. I always acknowledge it when DH makes an effort; I wouldn’t make a silly remark knowing he was feeling good about himself.

I know would like more sex . We have had two small people but when he makes me feel like this, why would I want to?
He always says he’s “only joking” and that I’m too serious, but his comment really felt unkind. Maybe he doesn’t fancy me (which is fine), maybe it was a joke, or maybe it was a put-down.

AIBU to be annoyed, or am I just wasting my time?

DH is a good dad, does a lot of housework, and is generous with money—we share all finances, and he earns a lot more. I mostly feel loved, but I occasionally get frustrated by his “jokes.”

Maybe you looked so lovely that he didn’t know how to respond so gave a stupid awkward comment instead (really not funny as doesn’t make any sense as mr bean wears a trouser suit and tie and carries a teddy bear..)

perfectly put.

OP, if he makes more 'jokes' like this, there is definitely more to it and he's not learnt his lesson from this time around.

Maybe 'joke next time you see him suited & booted for something and say 'oo Worzel Gummidge works well on you'...(showing my age here!)

I'd have retorted, 'And that's why you don't get more sex.'

Idiot bloke.

Mr Bean always looks gawky, awkward and as far as I remember always wears the same outfit.

The only thing I can think is that he meant Rowan Stkinson from his transformation from Mr Bean to his role as Johnny English where he dresses as James Bond.

But even that wouldn’t make any sense because you are a woman ans there really is no comparison go be made unless you really do resemble Rowan Atkinson, which I highly doubt that you do.

It is an insult however you look at it and is not what I would call banter or light hearted silliness.

What a dick head thing to say. I'd make sure I said something crushing when he next wanted a boost.

He isn't irish is he op? If you wear anything khaki does he ask what news of Stalingrad? Or if you wear a puffy jacket does he ask if you nicked it from the hot press? Or is he just a twat?

Or if you wear a puffy jacket does he ask if you nicked it from the hot press?

That one actually made me laugh.

I'd be telling him that it doesn't matter if it's 'only a joke' or he's 'only joking'. Even if that's true, it's still thoughtless and rude to joke about your appearance when you've clearly dressed up—and I'd also point out in simple, easily understood language that this type of thing kills any feelings of attraction or desire. He should take note.

I’d make a very big fuss of this. It’s a shitty comment to make when he knows you’ve made an effort. It’s guaranteed to knock your confidence. How is it appropriate? He’s an idiot.

I don’t understand where the joke is, so it just seems mean to me 🙁 sorry OP. My DH once told me I looked like a duck in my new yellow raincoat - which I kind of did as the hood looked like a beak - and that was funny, but I was about to go out on a dog walk at the time. Had I put it on to go somewhere where I was making an effort, he wouldn’t have said it.

But what’s the joke, the punchline? I don’t get it?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

It was unkind and not at all funny. He's a twat

"I look like Mr Bean, you look like a twat, don't get upset I'm only joking." not
What complete knobs some men are with their 'jokes', they dish it out but can't take it.

I don’t think that’s the joke.

The joke is that Mr Bean always looks the same - then in some episodes he dresses up in a smart jacket and it’s a big transformation.

He didn’t mean she looked like Mr Bean. He was commenting on the fact that there was a notable transformation.

Obviously, as always, it’s all about the bigger picture. But I don’t find the comment itself that bad.

I didn't realise Mr Bean wore a dress and make up.

Sorry OP but I do find this funny and I’d take it as a joke from my husband. Your DH is referring to a specific episode of Mr Bean.

It wouldn’t bother me because I know my husband fancies the pants of me and is always complimenting me, so when he says things like this I take it for the joke that it is. Your relationship might be different.

So give it back to him

'Oh you look like David Brent. Just kidding. Hahahaha.'

Kind of thing

The DH is referring to specific episode of Mr Bean called “Mr Bean Gets Dressed Up” where he wears a sparkly dress, a wig and make up.

He does in the episode “Mr Bean Gets Dressed Up”…

Because Mr Bean wears the same clothes all the time….then when he puts his smart suit on it’s a big transformation.

In isolation, it wasn’t a horrible comment. He was just saying it’s a big transformation.

Obviously tone and context play a part though.

Oh, I see.

Ok, in that case, yes, that’s not an acceptable comment.

And then they wonder why we don't want to have sex with them. What happened to making your partner feel loved and desired. These men are never happy.

I disagree. I’d find it hilarious. I just take it as “oh you’re all dressed up”. I think it can feel strange first thing in the morning when you’re all “done up”. It feels weird to be in your glad rags at 8am with the kids running around screaming. I think it was just a reference to her being dolled up when she wouldn’t usually be and it’s for work, bot in the evening to go out for a date or something like that.

I don't think I'd ever want to have sex with him again. Does he not realise that women want to be desired by their partner?