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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL Christmas present demand

283 replies

User28884995 · 24/11/2025 14:54

For the last few years when in laws and my parents have asked about presents we have politely said some money for our children’s savings account or a voucher would be best as we have a real lack of space at home and as we are not in a position to put savings aside ourselves at the moment so this has felt like a good idea. When my dd was younger MIL decided without asking to give a large range of other presents which were kind of things which we would have wanted to give and which took away from what we as parents were able to do. This year she has messaged my dh saying she wants to give dd a gift herself, when she knows we have asked for money for savings or a voucher. Just feeling overstepped and not sure what to do.

OP posts:
Askingforafriendtoday · 26/11/2025 12:59

Poor kids, poor grandparents...

Nantescalling · 26/11/2025 20:32

Don't give her the pleasure of over-ruling you.

Badanxiety · 26/11/2025 22:20

Can’t you ask them to get something that would free up extra money for something else? I do this with my dad if there are a few expensive presents that my children want I ask him to get. My DS (15) wants a jacket that costs £140 so my dad will buy that and I can bulk out his gifts off us for that amount

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/11/2025 08:15

sittingonabeach · 26/11/2025 08:24

@MrsSkylerWhite I know. I was just responding to the many posts saying children don’t like getting money/voucher as a present

Edited

Fair enough.

Ladygodalmighty · 27/11/2025 11:50

Upthenorth · 24/11/2025 14:59

Maybe let her buy a gift you were going to get and put the money that would have been spent in a saver?

Edited

Exactly this!

JG24 · 27/11/2025 13:10

I would love for people to give my child money so we don't need to try and allocate our budget to savings for uni etc...but people want to give gifts so they can see the joy. I totally understand that,
We're limited on space so I usually think about what mine wants and/or need them if people ask I'm ready. And I pick things I know they'd like to gift
So if someone is really into reading and thinks it's important I will ask them for books
Or if someone loves the outdoors I'll think of a suitable outdoors toy like a scooter.
People are so generous that tbh it ends up that we don't really get anything off us as they always have so much stuff. And it's a bit sad that we're not the ones gifting, but at the end of the day my child is happy, the gift giver is happy and that means a lot to me

Marieb19 · 29/11/2025 19:44

I'm afraid you sound jealous and controlling. You are harming your children's relationship with their grandparents.

Labelledelune · 29/11/2025 20:00

Surely it’s up to the giver what they do? My children get presents that I wish they hadn’t but it’s the thought that counts.

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