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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Countdown on my birthday: Will they remember . . .

425 replies

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 16:46

Lighthearted, as I believe there will be an avalanche of well wishing the minute the first one remembers and texts the rest of this sorry bunch.

Now, I'll just say I am not one for big, expensive gifts nor grand parties. A simple brunch out at our neighborhood restaurant and maybe a small gift and card is beyond lovely in my book.

However, outside my 5yr old DNephew who isn't allowed phone time and can't read, the rest of this lot is currently on probation until I hear otherwise:

Listed in order of who should be figuring this out first:

Naughty List
DH (nuff said)
DF (he's 80, but in sound mind, lives with us, and he was there on the first one...)
DD 1(21) (away at her university, but c'mon!)
DD 2 (16) (old enough to know better)
DSis 1 (next to DF, has known me the longest, plus we're super close)
DSis 3 (youngest, but should be reliable)
Friends 1, 2 (known since we were 14)
Friends 3, 4 (very close)
DN 1 (17) (smart kid, pretty reliable)
DBIL 1 (50) (known the man for ever)
DN2 & DN3 (13 and 8) (probably remember but waiting for the family to tell them to call me)
DBIL 3 (newer, so more off the hook)
DSis 2 (high stress job, could be pulled into emergency work)
DBIL 2 (small kids, DW w/ high stress job)
DMIL (75) (has form for forgetting, but also has chronic condition, so no expectations)

Nice List
my dentist (sent me a 7:30 a.m. email)
DA (in her reliable fashion, mailed a card that arrived yesterday)

OP posts:
diddl · 23/11/2025 18:23

Awful that they have forgotten.

I wouldn't mind if nothing was planned but I expect at least a "Happy Birthday" from people who live with me when I first see them.

walkingmycatnameddog · 23/11/2025 18:23

happy birthday op. Miserable lot you have there! YANBU. Don’t allow yourself to be invisible, make a fuss. 🎉

sayitagainplease · 23/11/2025 18:23

Happy Birthday OP. 🎉
I had mine earlier this month. The first two greetings were from the NHS, a reminder for a diabetes check and a heads up that a bowel cancer test was on its way. 😂

Hedgehogbrown · 23/11/2025 18:25

Just remind them! Are you enjoying being ignored?

Iris2020 · 23/11/2025 18:26

Aww happy Birthday and good on aunt and niece! Sorry the rest of your family are rubbish with your birthday.

HangingOver · 23/11/2025 18:28

Happy birthday from MN OP ❤️

Delatron · 23/11/2025 18:28

I don’t really get how this happens. I talk about my birthday for about two weeks before. I would definitely remind them…!

I’d also have just organised something and said ‘as it’s my birthday next week I’ve booked this cafe for lunch’ or something similar.

Wellretired · 23/11/2025 18:28

If it was me I would be so ruffled. Id definitely say something to the people who actually live in the same house as you do! With the full expectation that they would a) need to grovel and b) do something special to apilogise and make up fot it. Seriously, none of them remembered? I buy myself a birthday present every year too.

HuskyNew · 23/11/2025 18:33

I’d go visit your aunt.
let them wonder where their dinner is.

tothelefttotheleft · 23/11/2025 18:33

@WildLeader

This smacks of someone who has put everyone else first her entire life, not made a fuss etc etc

look where it’s got you. You’re not even on the list of priorities of anyone else.

stop expecting people to step up when you’ve never made yourself a priority

TELL them, for my birthday on Sunday 23rd I want to go to lunch/brunch/dinner, or fuck!, book it and tell them all that’s what I’m doing.

stop devaluing yourself love and make sure others value you in the way you value them

You are so right. I didn't teach my children how to treat me and I've really paid the price for it.

WhereIsMyJumper · 23/11/2025 18:35

RecordBreakers · 23/11/2025 17:49

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Your birthday is your birthday.
You are never too old,
Indeed, the older we become, the more there is to be celebrated about reaching the next birthday.

Indeed - OP is only 55 😳

Happy birthday OP! I hope that it’s all a ruse and they’re pretending to have forgotten. Rotten folk.

Fends · 23/11/2025 18:35

Walk out of the door and go see your Aunt

Roomforapony · 23/11/2025 18:36
Happy Birthday To You Party GIF by SWR Kindernetz

Happy Birthday @Delphinium20

VeryV · 23/11/2025 18:41

The thing is, I would be so angry and hurt if this happened to me, of course I could take myself out for a meal, a treat etc. That would not take away the hurt of being let down by my immediate family.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/11/2025 18:42

I would have said something by now. How about

'I can't believe not one of my family has remember that today is my
Birthday. I will be doing the same to each and every one of you on your birthdays going forwards'

then go out on your own for dinner.

ohreallyIsee · 23/11/2025 18:43

I have a terrible memory and lose track of the date easily but I know this and have reminders on my phone so that my memory gets jogged, I feel really bad if I do accidentally miss a date

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 18:44

ChristieMcVie · 23/11/2025 17:49

Happy Birthday! At what point will you take yourself off and do something nice for yourself?

I'm snuggled reading a very good book, drinking some cream whiskey with a coffee. DD2 has come over several times to talk about Christmas plans. She's clearly clueless.

OP posts:
TidyCyan · 23/11/2025 18:45

I don't have your patience. I would have blown up by 11am.

That said I am another one who verbally sorts out plans for my birthday in advance.

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 18:46

HuskyNew · 23/11/2025 18:33

I’d go visit your aunt.
let them wonder where their dinner is.

This is brilliant. I think I'm going to call her at some point w/ DH in earshot and say, "Thanks for the birthday card!"

OP posts:
JamMam11 · 23/11/2025 18:47

shuggles · 23/11/2025 17:43

@Delphinium20 Judging by the ages of your relatives, I will suggest that you are far too old to be celebrating your birthday.

Please, please tell me this is satire.

Delphinium20 · 23/11/2025 18:48

I might forward this to DH:

Hello, Delphinium, this is City Lake Family Dental. We want to wish you a very happy birthday!

OP posts:
ohwhatcanyoudo · 23/11/2025 18:48

just wanted to say happy birthday and i hope these cheeky lot remember!!! xxxxx you deserve all the love today xxxxx

Brefugee · 23/11/2025 18:49

Grammarnut · 23/11/2025 18:01

Happy birthday. But apart from DH you can't expect people to take you out for a nice brunch with a bunch of flowers. Really, no.

rubbish.
My DH usually takes me out, but my DCs and he and i all discuss what we're going to do for birthdays before they happen

if i'm with my mum, i take her out (to be fair no other fucker bothers with her)

Happy birthday @Delphinium20 Flowers Cake

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 23/11/2025 18:49

I think my approach would just be to do nothing whatsoever about food for the family today. Wait for someone to ask what's for dinner and then reply 'I thought you'd be taking me out?'

And wait for the penny to drop.

I must admit that my kids are excellent about remembering my (imminent) birthday, but I rather suspect this is mostly due to two very organised daughters who make sure all the rest fall into line!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 23/11/2025 18:51

shuggles · 23/11/2025 17:43

@Delphinium20 Judging by the ages of your relatives, I will suggest that you are far too old to be celebrating your birthday.

Don't be silly. My Mum is about to be 93 and I am travelling 400 miles to be with her for it. Nobody is ever too old to celebrate a birthday.

Fingers crossed for you, OP. I'd have said something by now (days ago, actually). Flowers

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