To not particularly want Dd’s friend to help decorate the tree

[Decemberisthemostexpensivemonth]

Dd is 7 and has a friend from school as a neighbour. They often play together, which is nice, but it can be a bit overwhelming with her sometimes calling Dd at 7.30 in the morning to play and spending most weekends at our house
We’re getting our Christmas tree next weekend, it’s tradition we go as a family-Dh, dd & me, choose the tree, buy some extra lights & decorations, go to an xmas market nearby. We then come home, stick the xmas music on, decorate the tree and finish with hot choc and marshmallows in our pjs watching xmas films. It just signals the start of Christmas and we’ve done it since Dd was very small
Dd was telling her friend and her friend asked if she could come and also do the tree, Dd told her yes then told me. I said to Dd she can’t really come as it’s a special family thing we do, but she can play with her the next day. Dd told her she couldn’t come but her friend said to me she’d asked her mum and can do the tree decorating part 🙄
Dh seems to think it’s not a big deal, but I just want it to be us, am I being too precious? Dd is an only so I make sure she’s always playing with friends etc and she sees this girl and others a lot.

Aibu to want just one day just for us as family?

Not to split hairs but that isn't entirely true...

Dd was telling her friend and her friend asked if she could come and also do the tree, Dd told her yes then told me. I said to Dd she can’t really come as it’s a special family thing we do, but she can play with her the next day. Dd told her she couldn’t come but her friend said to me she’d asked her mum and can do the tree decorating part

At 7 years old I would expect the parent ans/or caregiver to be the one to teach and set boundaries, but given this isn't happening here, and the girl is already monopolising a lot of OP's family time (which most considerate parents and/or caregivers would be aware of), I think it's fair for OP to set them.

There are a lot of people on this thread who don't think that neighbour kid is being pushy. Which is just mad to me. She's already been told no ffs, and she is literally riding roughshod over that and pushing to get her way anyway. I hope she eventually goes into sales, she'll probably be very successful.

I'd be keeping an eye on the dynamics of the friendship, there. There's a very real possibility that the DD would be relieved to have some time off from this intense friend who is always bloody there and just be with mum and dad for the day.

I also notice that nowhere in the original post does it say, "dd got really upset and begged for her friend to be allowed to come", which would have changed the flavour of the situation.

I commented much earlier on the thread we had one living in our street. She was a friggin nightmare and she still would be if she would’ve been able to carry on in my daughter’s life.
Luckily, we got rid of her and she’s achieved. Nothing Sales would’ve been a good choice for her too, but she couldn’t even do that.
Proper little madam

See at 7 years old I would see it that the parents and/or caregivers should be teaching and enforcing boundaries (and in this scenario that isn't happening), not that the child was inherently pushy. If it were my child I would:

• Not allow them to use my phone at 7.30am to call the neighbour (or anyone) and explain why this isn't appropriate
• Recognise that weekends are precious for working families and check with the parents myself if it was OK for my child to go round (not necessarily every time but at least have a conversation with them to understand the best approach given the girls are friendly). Again, this may involve explaining to my child why they can't spend every weekend at the neighbours house so they understand
• Last but not least, actually want to spend time with my child and not just send them over to the neighbours every weekend

So yes, the girl is coming across 'pushy' but it's because her caregivers aren't teaching or enforcing any boundaries, so she's probably completely unaware that she's doing anything wrong.

I’m a recovering people pleaser and a Mum. Weekends with DS are precious to me.
I don’t see why OP has to be badgered by a 7 year old who has a proven track record for inviting herself to her home.
I find some of the comments on here about managing this situation frankly ridiculous. Absolutely NO to buying DD and her friend little Christmas trees to decorate, no one has considered that this could set a precedent that every Christmas DD’s friend may expect her own tree. OP simply wants time with her DD to do a family activity and I would have loved to have done this when I was young with my own Mum.
We had a pushy next door neighbour whose daughter was a year younger than me, her DD would come charging round and expect to be catered for, to play roughly with my toys and she could be aggressive if she didn’t get her own way. My Mum struggled with getting this girl’s Mum to understand that it was not always convenient for her daughter to turn up.
OP, stand your ground. It’s your time with DD, this friend is getting her own way and you’ve provided her with a lot of opportunities for socialising with DD. One afternoon isn’t too much to ask. Can you ask the friend’s grandma for her daughter’s phone number and have a gentle word about the tree decorating and the 7.30am calls?

Whatever happened to the spirit of goodwill!?

Quite.

Grandma could show some goodwill by stepping up and doing something with her granddaughter instead of palming her off on her neighbour every weekend, especially when they have family Christmas activities planned.

😁

I doubt he would have been decorating a pagan yule tree.

Completely agree - looks far more like the kid has decided she wants to come than the OP’s DD has decided she wants her. And look at how many threads there are on here with fully grown women unable to say ”ah - no - you can’t leave your child here for the whole school holidays” or other clearly ridiculously unreasonable requests; is it any surprise a 7 year old has bowed in the face of pressure of another child saying “can I come? Can I come?”.