Inappropriate message in DP’s leaving card?

[Helenavets]

DP had his final day in his job yesterday and got a lot of gifts and presents.

His card has been signed by all his colleagues, I noticed one message signed off by a female says ‘I will miss you my favourite DILFY colleague xxxx”

I asked who this was and she’s a single woman a similar age to him.

Am I reading a bit too much into this?

I can't imagine that if this was at all serious, she would be openly admitting it in a card. It has to be a joke that they are all in on. Otherwise it just makes her look awful, and I don't think anyone would be unaware of that.

HR at my company would lose.their.shit over this in a card, and would absolutely not accept “friendly banter” as an excuse.

Yeah that is a bit strange, OP.

Do you have kids? Could the DILF be an age-related jibe at all? Still - feels weird to be on banter terms with someone you don’t know well enough to tell about your weekend plans with your long term partner at home.

He has kept you on the down low.
She is making it crystal clear shes game.
Not a keeper OP.
Look at him very hard, I think you are wasting your time with him.

My dh has hardly met any of my colleagues.
When we go out, it is just employees.
However we all know our colleagues' partners names and bits and bobs about them, as these things come up in conversation. This is even in a team that spends most of the working week working remotely / doing visits etc., not even sitting next to each other.
Same with dh's workplace. They go out as a team, very occasionally, or sometimes at lunchtime or for a drink after work, but without partners so I haven't met most of them. But I know the names of some of his colleagues, and they all know my name, and that he's married to me and has dc etc.

I find it odd that after 2 years you've never come up in a conversation with colleagues.

But then, I also find it odd that you would sit and read through a leaving card signed by multiple colleagues that you don't know and have no relationship with. I can't imagine why it would cross your mind to do that.

I really wouldn't be worried (& I'm a chronic over thinker) I'd have just commented 'I want never gets!' Her bad luck!

There’s no way in the world I’d ever write that on a leaving card. Absolutely cringing for her.

I think it’s just banter or a daft joke.
Hopefully he’ll never need to see his colleagues again.

Definitely LTB

Y turns it into something more like an adjective, like sexY or fuckable.

If my partner was in DILF/MILF 'bants' with a single woman at work and hadn't thought to mention that he is in a relationship I would be REALLY unimpressed.

I've had platonic work relationships where we fired innuendos at each other and flirted (in a very over the top and unsexy way) where this sort of message wouldn't have been that unlikely... but we were all young and single. Not appropriate to have that type of "banter" with someone while hiding a relationship from them.

Rubbish, haven’t you heard of hiding in plain sight as a way of diverting suspicion?
My terminally unfaithful ex would find ways of discussing the woman from the office he happened to be sleeping with. I think he enjoyed the frisson of chatting about his OW with his wife and kids

Some strange (to me) responses on here. At my work (corporate) this would probably end up in a disciplinary. Does he have kids? Else the DILF doesn’t seem to work. If she wrote it before other people they would also all have seen it, grim.

Bit weird not to ever mention you too op, it would come up in conversation surely? Eg ‘went to cinema on Saturday with [sarah] saw Eden Lake, it was great’, kind of thing?

It's to turn the noun into an adjective.

The woman sounds a bit forward, that I have to say.

I'm rarely on the 'just banter' side - I'm too uptight usually - but here, yes, just banter, is my view.

It's not a secret comment, the card's going home with your DH, it's more likely to be a longstanding bit of joshing, rather than a secretly heaving bosom, imo.

I don't think it's necessarily appropriate, but I think it's likely to be harmless.

Great big red flag there OP!

I reckon he must be in his 40s or 50s “dad” age whether he has kids or not. That explains the comment perhaps.

Still really cringe and weird!

Omg, MILFY - can you imagine?! 🤣🤣

Not normal and inappropriate. I wouldn't be happy.

Sounds off to me based on 30 years working in large corporations.
Any time there was an event with hotel or trip abroad, colleagues were hopping into one another's beds. One time a Swiss guy whose wife had just given birth to their second child failed to show up after dinner for a social event along with a French colleague also married with two kids. Everyone else was talking about how they had always had the hots for one another.
Banter? No smoke without fire in my experience.

I was agreeing with your post until the last bit.
I’ve got my grandmothers Good Luck in your retirement cards. Presumably it would be wrong of me to read them!

It’s not about right or wrong. There is no moral binary about this. I just don’t get ‘why’.

That's a massive red flag, I am sorry. In my experience men in happy relationships never keep them.private at work. It's one of their main conversation topics / status things they brag about.

If it’s just banter and he’s leaving anyway I wouldn’t worry about it;I (female) have a laugh with one of my colleagues who’s also female and call her a milf;it’s abit of a running joke.

he tries to keep out relationship private when it comes to work.

Why?