Inappropriate message in DP’s leaving card?

[Helenavets]

DP had his final day in his job yesterday and got a lot of gifts and presents.

His card has been signed by all his colleagues, I noticed one message signed off by a female says ‘I will miss you my favourite DILFY colleague xxxx”

I asked who this was and she’s a single woman a similar age to him.

Am I reading a bit too much into this?

Start sending photos from Wetherspoons and photos of 2nd hand non-designer bags saying “just picked this little number up from Oxfam shop, bargain ! “

Did she want you to see this meal?
Maybe it was meant to innocent
You know just having a larf.

But l think.it iwas disrespectful and inappropriate. Boundaries are no longer
observed and people become too familiar with each other.

Tell.your husband again you did not like this remark and why.

My old grand would have called her a right Trollope.

Ho ho.

Wrong thread…you want the cringey daughter with the Hermes 😂

The wildly inappropriate nature of the comment means it cannot be serious, surely?

How did he react OP? Cagey, or keen to share the joke?

OP please don’t worry yourself over this coocoo bananas nonsense. The comment in this woman’s husband’s card is utterly meaningless to the situation she found herself in.

It means ‘Dad I’d like to F*ck’ - I wouldn’t be too happy about it!

Do you have reason to distrust him

He didn’t point out the message but didn’t try to stop me seeing it if that makes sense.

We’ve just discussed it again and I asked him did she not think maybe I’d read it and be a bit confused. He said that he doesn’t think she’s aware of me as he tries to keep out relationship private when it comes to work.

I can’t lie, I have slight alarm bells ringing!

Maybe so, but a bit of decorum wouldn’t come amiss in these circs.
She must know he is married and that OP will view card. Not very sisterly.

(Modern office life sounds like throwing-out time at some godawful pub down by the docks, compared to any professional working environment I ever knew! People sound utterly without self-restraint)

How vulgar!

Ask him.

She sounds unhinged!

I have stuff written across my leavers blouse from school which would look like all kinds of sexual harassment

It was all in jokes and written by close (mostly female) friends

But this is MN, where no one has banter and ever says anything to their friends or colleagues except a polite hello

Kindly, they are not in the school playground. They are grown adults in a corporate environment.

So he never mentions you at work? Have you ever been out with any of his work colleagues?

If they were having a secret affair she wouldn't have written it in a card that everybody else in the office was going to see. Clearly a joke.

Years ago I used to refer to a colleague as my 'work husband'. I couldn't have been less attracted to him.

oops ! 😅

No I haven’t met any of them. They don’t go out that often together though, maybe twice a year plus a Christmas do but partners are never invited.

Ew yeah definitely inappropriate and unprofessional. Cannot imagine calling a colleague this or imagine it the other way around! Really weird. I’d imagine it’s just someone larking around though rather than anything sinister.

We were 18. It wasn't a school yard

And it's the same mentality of banter with people you know well and have certain jokes with which don't translate well outside of the environment

I've plenty of work versions too

Unhinged? Really?

God forbid a woman have a vaguely raunchy sense of humour. Strap her in a straight jacket and have her locked in a padded room pronto.

OMG what would HR do if they knew? Definitely not acceptable. Was this a vitual
or physical card?

Adjective of what though?

How has your experience at the mature age of 16(!) - with fellow girls - got any relevance to this situation?!

A physical card

I wouldn’t be impressed, I’ll be honest.

That's tricky, but I might have got a new card if I'd been the person organising and not asked her to sign the second one